Wednesday, 2 March 2011

Reflections


Good morning;=)

Sitting here with my morning hair-do and a slightly tired face but actually I feel quite fresh. Got a wonderful stone massage yesterday and it was, just as last time, amazing;=) Thanks Takk!
After the massage I walked in the city stores all by myself to get some own time. Johan thought I could need it and yeah, it was really nice.

I tried on some clothes here and there and one thing I felt I want to write about is the thing with how we look on our bodies.

When I was a child I was thin and never ever thought of my body in the context of how I looked. My body was strong and I were an active child who always were out with friends chasing each other around.

Then in my teenage years the body changed and I got to be more curvy. Still thin but bigger breasts and a more female figure. Still I didnt think so much about my body, more than that my breasts were a bit in the way when doing sports.

When I was 21 I went to Balettakademien in Gothenburg and here is where my body anxiety started. We were two girls in the class who had more curves than the others. Most of the girls were ballet girls without any curves at all so of course me and the other girl stood out.

Right from the start I got to hear that I needed to "get rid of those hips", smoke more cigarettes and eat less. Every time I sat in the cafeteria after several hours of dance classes and ate a small sandwich, some teacher or the principal came and asked why I ate.

It led to that I felt like the biggest person in the school and when we had dance classes I almost couldnt look in the mirrors. Cause the person I had seen before, the thin and normal girl, now were a big fat girl who were just plain ugly.

But I was thin, I still were the same girl and I lost more and more weight and got more and more depressed because of the lack of food and heavy exercising.

I quit the school but still the damage was done and after that I never thought of myself as beautiful anymore. All I heard in my head was that I had to get rid of the hips, the breast etc.
And it is like that: if we hear something long enough we will start to think like that and even start to make it to be who we are.

After that I have never liked my body and always compared myself to the girls who are thin without any curves at all and longed to look like that. And that is just an impossible mission cause my body isnt ever gonna look like that. It will forever be curvy cause that was how I was created.

Think about it: what someone said 20 years ago has haunted me for all of those years! It´s important to think about this when saying something to another person in a critical way. If you say to someone that he or she is egoistic, bad at maths, fat, ugly, thin, stupid e g, it may be a forever prophesy for that person, even if he or she isnt like that. Words can get printed into us and make us look upon ourselves in the wrong way.

Today I have accepted my body and myself but it has taken such a long time and there are still days when I need to "push away" that bad negative thought that I am ugly and fat. And I do love myself today and my body may not be perfect and may never be either, but its MY body and it has let me live this life so far, being able to run, carry 2 children, jump around in a silly dance on stage and so many things I can do every day just because its a strong body;=)

How do you feel about your body and what do you say to yourself when you look in the mirror? Are you bashing yourself or embrasing yourself?

Let´s start a little talk about this, I want to know what you think about your bodies?

132 comments:

  1. Hi Anette! This is important topic to talk about. My protection for this issue has been that I´ve got amazing dad who has never commented by body in anyway. I lived with my dad from mon to fri for 3 years cause my mun studied in different city. Men can influence a lot to our experience about ourselves. And other thing is that I´ve always had friends with different kind of bodies and that´s a blessing. We are who we are. And the last, I have a husband who appreciates me as the way I am in different situations in my life (when being pregnant etc). I hate people who looks others how they look, I´m interested in peoples thoughts and values. All kinds of people can be good looking, in their own way.

    And I feel that you have now a partner who sees you as you are, as wonderful person. Your mirror at home (Johan :)) seems to be wonderful guy. All the best for you both!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello Anette :)
    First I want to say youre not fat at all and such a strong woman as you shouldnt forget it.
    Im only 15 years old so Im satisfyied with my body, even if its not perfect. But I know, critical words can affect even a strong person, so everybody should think about what he/she says.
    Take care :)
    Arfea

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Anette, for me things were kinda similar and kinda different...

    My whole family is chubby, and some are really obese. But me and my brother and sister maneged to be thin. Well, my sister is that kinda "ballet girl", cause she has no curves at all, but I was thin (56kg) and felt happy with that, even if I had several curves (I have very big breasts), much more than my lil sister.

    But, during my teens, I got a brain tumor that almost killed me. Among much more symptoms, I started producing breastmilk, lost my periods, started wearing glasses (the tumor was so big it damaged my brain vision area) and earn a lot of weight. I mean, a LOT of weight. In seven months, I jumped from 54 to 118kg. It was such a devastating thing for me... Being so obese in high school isn't easy. The bullying I suffered during this time is something that haunts me forever til nowdays, 9 years after that... And most of the bullying came from my parents. They didn't give me any support, they called me fat and ugly all the time. They didn't believe that my obesity was caused due the brain tumor (even with my doctor confirming it), and every day they would say "Driele, you're way to fat, you have an horrible body. Look to your sister and brother, how they are thin and pretty. Why can't you become like them?"

    During my 15 ~ 20 years I started an extreme diet (vegan diet) and started swimming, bellydance, running and working out every day, but I didn't loose any pound. Only when I almost died (the reason I didn't go to the show you Nightwish performed in Brasilia) my parents believed me and started buying my medicine. With that, the tumor grew smaller, and I succeded to be 98kg. And this is my weight til nowdays, and I'm 23.

    I learned to live with that. As long as the tumor remains inside me, I will never get thin again. My body is ruined (several health and aesthetic problems, like back pain and countless grooves) and my self steem was near it too. I even tried a suicide. But now I live with that normally. Of course some times I feel horrible, I don't like taking photos of myself anymore and I look saddly at the clothes I used to wear before this tumor... They will never fit me again. But I am no more the depressive girl I was before. Still I have almost no support from my family (I actually don't have a good relationship with my parents...), but at least I have my friends to help me overcome that and I'm happy again =)

    ReplyDelete
  4. bonjour anette
    moi je me suis faite opérer d'un by pass
    pour pouvoir perdre du poids alors imaginer se que je penser de mon corps pour en arriver la!
    mai je ne regrette pas car aujourd'hui je me sen mieux dans mon corps et dans ma tete je m'aprécie un peu mieux quand je me regarde dans le miroire
    pour ma par je vous trouve tres belle et parfaite anette
    bonne journée a vous bisous

    ReplyDelete
  5. Driele: Oh my! Your story is so intense and I dont know what to say more than that you are a hell of a girl to struggle with the illness AND the bullying! And I am glad you have your friends since your parents arent there for you. Illnesses and hormones can make us get bigger, its not all food, but many people cant understand that. I had a girl in my class in school who were big and she never ate any candy or sugar or lots of food but had an illness that made her gain weight. Still, people looked at her as she was an over-eater but she wasnt. I really hope you are feeling ok despite the illness and that you someday can get rid of the tumour? Lots of hugs and thanks for sharing your story with me!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi!

    I so was entitled to bad criticisms when I was adolescent about my body, especially because of my face. I felt not good in my body because of it. The criticisms were really nasty and sometimes reminded me the suicide. Since I had to be operated and I feel better. I accept my body and now I'm proud about it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anette,a good topic to discuss about,and I am happy you are satisfied with your body nowadays!
    I must say my body is like yours-I´ve got curves,my breasts and my hips and butt.Many years ago when I was about 12 my body started to get curvy and I was the only one who was going through it-the other girls were thin,and I felt like a elephant.I used to hear some ugly comments about my body but I didn´t give a damn,even nor today.I am happy with my body cause it´s mine,it´s strong and serves me a lot.I am proud of myself and don´t give a fuck about what the others say.It´s just me,I cannot hide!
    So girls love yourselves!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi Anette,
    Thank you for bringing up this topic. I understand very well what you confessed since I suffer from eating disorder. Once I was only 38kgs for 1m70. So I know this little voice inside you who says that you're not thin enough. It is an everyday battle, and unfortunatly, I am far from being the girl I used to be. When you start hating you body, you lose your own identity and it is very hard to have it back. No matter what you do, no matter how you look, it seems that it is never good enough, and somehow you start punishing yourself for not being the "perfect girl". I would like to accept who I am, but it is a very difficult thing to do, and now, my sickness impacts on every aspect of my life. I quitted two jobs because of that, I can't really investigate myself into a relationship because I Can't ask my partner to carry this burden with me. this is simply too much to ask and most of the times they simply don't understand what the sickness is about.
    I hope that one day I will feel good with myself. I only wish to be able to look into the mirror and be satisfied and most importantly be able to see who I really am.
    Thank you very much for sharing this story. God knows how hard it is to reveal our weaknesses.
    Emilie

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hello,

    thanks Anette for sharing your story, I've seen several movies in which a ballerina was told to lose weight so that she can stay in the club and then she suffered anorexia and almost died...

    I'm glad that you have strong personality and did't let ruin yourself by those people.

    I often think of my body and also think if something in my life would be better if I looked like those women in all magazines but then I realize that nothing could be better since I have a wonderful mum who loves me and also a big family and a boyfriend who also loves me the way I am :)

    I just would like to have more firm body therefore I started to exercise :) But I don't like my legs since I have some stretch marks despite I didn't get weight and wasn't pregnant so I don't know why I have them...but the most important thing is to be healthy and therefore I am happy that the only physical problem are the stretch marks...

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm actually going through something similar to this at the moment. I was bullied for years at school and since then have always thought I was fat and ugly and could never live up to the other girls. Every day is a struggle and I'm only at the start of a really long journey to accepting and liking myself the way I am but I know that, with the help of God and my wonderful boyfriend and family, I can do it.

    Thanks for sharing your story with us, this is such an important issue for all of us, not just girls.

    Holly xxx

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh My Gosh Anette!! I cant believe you wrote this today because over the past few days (actually since i watched the very tragic Karen Carpenter Story) I have been thinking about my figure none stop & really hating myself for the way i look, at school i was also very thin but i was the thinnest girl, all the girls were curvy & well built!! I got picked on for being flat chested & stick thin!! These days i am 2 stone over weight but its weight in all the wrong places..I am very Thick/full around the middle, so my waist is hiding under fat :( the only thing i like is my chest because it is big haha!! I really like my food so i find it hard to diet but also i go to the gym but then i will miss it for a few days and then go back!! In my past i did starve myself once for 2 weeks (7 yrs ago) and in 2 weeks i lost a stone in weight and went to 8 stone this was very dangerous and i have never done it again!! The truth is I am not happy with my body i am a size 16 and i want to be a 12 again. For example when you had your competition with the dress, I looked at it and thought well i hope i dont win it because it wouldn't fit me and i wouldn't even be able to at least try it on...golly how miserable i sound...so now ther you asked for it haha I am not happy with my body and i wont be until i am size 12 again :(

    As for you Anette iam sorry to hear that all this stuff has haunted you... school can be so cruel! i went to so many schools haha that my memories are not so clear but I just wanted to say that I think you are a stunning looking lady with a lovely face and a wonderful bone structure for your face, lovely cheek bones, eyes and smile and your body/figure is gorgeous and you have so many lovely clothes you can wear to compliment so iam glad you are happy with your figure now!

    Hopefully soon i will be the same a little more happy :)

    Have a great day Anette

    Sorry for my essay but i really felt like getting this off my mind so thank you so much

    Kisses
    Kelly
    Xxx

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi Anette !!

    I think that every girl who look in the mirror has something bad to say about their body.

    For me, i really think that i don't have a feminine face because i look like my father a lot, i have not so beautiful eyes and a turned-up nose (if you know what i mean, don't know the exact expression) and during my teenage years, this nose caused me a lot of troubles because of mockings everytime. It was horrible because i thought it was just a detail but after that it became a detail anymore but a huge complex. If a girl has a complex about her legs, she can hide them but i can't do that with a nose, everybody sees it. It's not easy sometimes.
    I think it's my bigest complex. For sure i don't like my legs so much, neither my stomach but for that i know that it's my own fault because i'm not a sporty girl and i know i have to do a lot of efforts in the coming years if i want a strong body as you have, I admire you a lot for being so sporty =)

    So, i wish you a good day dear Anette !!
    And hope the children are ok =)

    Lots of hugs !

    Alisée

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anette,

    I know how it feels to be made fun of for your body and your looks. I was really overweight in school and got made fun of horribly but it never ended at just my weight. What I wore, what music I listened to, what movies I watched...Just never ending.

    I have to say that I'm not "happy" with how I look but I'm content with it. I've lost a lot of the weight and am now closer to my ideal weight than ever before.

    I wonder how people can be so cruel but I think part of it is that people who make the comments are insecure about themselves so they make fun of someone else, in order to make themselves feel better. But yet they don't realize what they say could push someone over the edge or cause such horrid long-term self-esteem issues. And it sucks horribly!

    I think you're a very beautiful woman and you have a wonderful figure! I'd rather see the world full of curvy women than skeletons with skin.

    Keep your head up high and be proud of yourself!
    Take care,
    *~*Kerry*~*

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hey Anette :)
    mh .. I think your body is nearly perfect ;)

    Mine is .. ok I think ^^
    I have a normal body and normal boobs but I don´t like my hips ..
    I am only 1.61m "tall" and I have 63kg and the doctors say it´s normal but I want to be thinner ..

    But I like/love woman who have some curves (*rawr*) and I think we woman with curves should be proud about our beautiful body!

    Well, hope you have a nice and relaxing day!
    Enjoy it ;)
    With all my Love,
    Laura <3 :-*

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi!
    Amazing article! Very interesting topic. I´m sorry for your crazy thoughts because your body is totally perfect. (Actually I don´t know if I´ve ever seen something more beautiful.) Thank you for sharing!
    Matotu

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hi Anette,

    How weird. I was just listening to my own song right now called 'Reflections' and thought I'll check out Anette's blog today.

    Anyway, just wanted to say this is a great post. I understand and sympathise with everything you say. I was told some things when I was young that haunted me throughout my life. The thing is, now I am older and wiser, I try not to let what others say or think get to me.

    I think you are a very strong person and it's better that younger girls and women have someone like you as a role model rather than the usual stick insects they are bombarded with in the media. Your body shape is normal, and in no way are you overweight.

    I was skinny too when I was a teen, but as I got older I got curvier. I haven't any children, it's just that in my family the women have child-bearing hips. I hate them, but what can I do?

    I am quite slim, but because of personal stuff that's been going on in my life recently, like the loss of my dad and other stuff, I use chocolate and wine to comfort myself. However, I can already see that I'm gaining weight so I really have to stop that. PLus, it's not healthy.

    I can't understand all the size 0 crap. Women just don't look healthy like that. And really, it's what's inside that counts.

    Hope you have a nice day,
    Marie

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hello everyone!

    I read your comments and it almost hurts me, because your words are just like I would write. I tell my story even you all have everybody written the things I would say.

    I have always been a bit overweight, because my dad doesn't care about healthy food and that's why I can't always eat for example fruits, because dad doesn't buy them. My weight is about 72 kg and I should lost 10 kilos. I hope that I can make it when I move into my own home and will do all the food myself.

    When I turned 13 my the most horrible years began. I went to new school and I was the most hated girl there. There was many racist people and everyday I heard when people called me a nigger and told me that I should go to hell and nobody could even sit right next to me. It wasn't enough, then they started to shout me that "look at that fat nigger, haahaa, everybody hates you, everybody hates you!". I really started to believe it and I hated myself. My midriff is fat and I don't have waist at all. And my hip is large.

    Those things happened 3 years ago and I have talked with psychologist but I still haven't get over those times. Sometimes I just hear those people's voices and how they call me a fat nigger. I don't know when this will end or does it end at all.

    Nowadays I have a loving boyfriend that keeps telling me that he loves me just the way I am and he really doesn't want me to lose my stomach. Very weird because people really can see it through my clothes. He also says that losing weight would mean losing my breasts (they are quite big) and that's not good. :D

    Heh, maybe I believe him one day and can accept myself. It will be difficult after all those racist and bullying comments that I heard for many years.

    Thank you Anette for talking about this, I'm sure this will help us. :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hej, here´s my answer to Anette´s post "Reflections":
    http://imaginarium-maailma.blogspot.com/2011/03/together-we-are-one.html

    :-)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hey Anette

    it was really great to read your post about bodies,i think as women we are always under pressure to look 'thin' from celebrites,supermodels and even from other people,we always compare ourselves and i think even thin women have this feeling,if they have a fast metabolism that just burns food super fast,they too are wanting a diffrent body.

    I've always been curvy and always hope to be curvy,im proud to have a body with stretch marks from growing from a girl into a woman,to have wrinkles from laughing so much and a body that say's 'I enjoy fine food'Im proud of my curves!

    its important to be healthy,to eat lots of fruit and vegtables and exercise...but its also important to enjoy and treat yourself.

    Life is far too short to waste it on being obsessed with food,weight and how you look and all that really truly matter's is that if you are beautiful on the inside it will make you look beautiful on the outside too.

    Karina:)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hi Anette!

    I'm not happy with my body. I would like to be a little thinner ... I've lost 20 kilos in two months, but would like to create more, but at the moment I just lose any weight ... no matter what I do. Do you have a tip what can I do to lose more weight?
    What I like about me is my face and my hair but I would feel more comfortable and more like when I hope thinner wäre.Ich I create more weight to lose .... I would be delighted if you had a tip for me.

    Wish you a nice day
    Finjaa

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hellu Anette!
    Good evening, and well...this is a theme I didn't know we will touch anyhow in here. I have curves but I don't think it's normal cuz I believe I can be thiner. I look at the thin girls with some small curves and I do understand that they have slim bones and totally different nature but I do bellieve that I can be like that also.
    I am not really high, only 165 cm andd that gives some extra damage cuz I see myself more fat all the time than maybe I am. My mum always told me " It's bones! Everyone has it so different!
    That's a painful theme for me but I am grateful that you Anette showed up wht that abd I can write some about it.

    I am now and then trying to run like you do but this doesn't give me any results :(
    and trrying some exersizes at home but still the same thing. SO I guess whatever I Do - I wil stay as I am.
    I am starting to like myself by parts) I now like my hands and my feets :)....

    Actually Anette you look very beautiful and I haven't found any problems you could have abot your body. it's strong and looks very nice :) You look hot in every clothes you try like an outfit and that's worth it :)

    Good evening once again,

    Lola

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hello Anette..

    When i was a teenager played football in high school. After begun to dance.
    Today I let to eat something but keeping my weigh with a good food.
    More salad and fish, less meat and chicken.. sometimes eat chicken.
    And when i remember, exercise myself... walking bike..

    This is it..

    Great week.

    Kisses and hugs

    Pei

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hi Anette,

    That took you a lot of years to love your own body!
    I never really hated my body but I always have something I don't like. But that comes and goes.
    I think that a lot of people get insecure because of things on television and stuff.
    But in the end it doesn't matter wat other people think of you and your body. You need to love it yourself! And if somebody thinks he can tell you that youre fat or curvy they met the wrong person ;) 'cause we don't care ;) There are more important things in life.

    Love to read your blogs by the way!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hej Anette!

    Jag har alltid varit underviktig. Smal. Faktum är att jag i flera år försökt att gå upp i vikt just för att jag vetat att jag vägt för lite.

    För något år sedan fick jag dock reda på att jag är glutenintolerant och att det är därför jag inte kunnat ta åt mig näringen i maten så som man ska. Att det är därför jag varit så underviktig.

    Nu, med ny, glutenfri kost väger jag mer och mår bättre. Jag är till och med nöjd med min kropp och över den jag är.

    Det är en stor skillnad sedan tidigare och kompisar till mig har verkligen sagt hur mycket gladare jag ser ut att vara numera.

    Det är konstigt hur stor skillnad en sådan sak kan göra.

    Kram,
    Stina

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hi Anette,

    A great topic for discussion, especially since many women in society these days feel that no matter what they look like, it's not good enough.

    I was much like you growing up, running around playing and never paying much attention to how I looked. I always knew I was built quite solid and my Mother thought it was cute to call me "Chub-a-lub" and "Chunky Thighs." It wasn't until I was in my teens that these nicknames became more hurtful as I was now more aware of how I looked.

    Sure, I was and still am quite curvy, but much like you I still consider myself thin. When I visit home, my Mother still calls me those nicknames and talks about how "solid" and "meaty" I was as a child. I've tried to tell her that I don't like them and that they make me feel worse about myself, but she doesn't get it. I struggle everyday to maintain a healthy weight and size. As someone who loves food and trying new cuisines, it sucks to not be able to indulge every now and then because one "bad" meal shows up on my body right away!

    Shopping is another issue. I go to the store to buy jeans and it's a nightmare, nothing fits. My waist is so small but my hips and butt are so big! Everything looks awkward on me and I feel like a cow since most clothing appears to be made for women with less curves. I love clothes but despise spending hours trying to find something that fits and flatters my body. Eventually I give up. Sometimes I am fortunate to find jeans that stretch a little or outfits with a 50s style (when they embraced a woman's curves). It's always an adventure.

    Somedays I feel good about myself, how I look, but other days I hate it. It's like a roller coaster! But I think all women have that kind of feeling. Somedays are good and others are bad. ~V

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hello ANETTE
    I wanna say first that i was really touched by your blog today , i must tell you that you are one of the most beautiful , strong , positive persons , i only can love you more and more . We need to bring up such topics sometimes
    Well i'm from morocco , as aabs few of us really care about the body image , it's true it's bad to so fat , it's bad for your health. I'm fat girl myself , and sometimespeopl tell you should lose some weight , but it's my body , GOd gave it to me i was fat since i was brought to this world , i can run , i walk much longer than my thin friends do, energic all the time and most of all i laugh all the tim , i'm simply HAPPY .
    It's true somtims i gt upset when somebody tell me you need to stopr getting fatter and fatter , sometimes they meet me for the first time and tell me that , it's rude , but i never lt negative toughts come into my head , and i must admit than these people never were mean to me , so i'm lucky , because i know some aren't .
    In morocco we have public bathrooms , i walk but i'm not afraid of showing my BIG BODY cuz i love it , it's strong , and keeping me able to do things that some people can't even thin ones.
    It's tue sometimes when i look in the miror i wish that could be a little thiner , but i love myself , especially my face , i know that i have beautiful face , and i can make people laugh at my jokes , and they love .
    So fat girls don't need to be ashame of yourselves , you ROCK .
    WE LOVE YOU SO MCUH ,GOD BLESS YOU AND BLESS YOUR FAMILLY
    GREETING FROM MOROCCO!!!!
    ASMAE

    ReplyDelete
  27. Well, I don't remember what I thought about my body when I was a child, but I remember the time when my breasts grew really big for a 12 years old girl... That was terrible. And humiliating. And that was an addition to my not-so-pretty face. So I tried to hide it: I wore dungarees, jackets, everything which could hide my body. But after some time, when I was 14 maybe... I think I just got tired of hiding. And I become more sociable, everyone in my class became my friends.

    But the problem came back even worse when I was 16-17. You know, that time when we get first boyfriends/girlfriends. And I was single. I went to discos and I was in a company of friends, but I didn't get any attention. Or the guys who tried to get to know me were ugly and/or drunk :D And of course as every stupid teenager I decided that it was because I was "fat", although I have never ever been really fat. So I decided that I was not meant to ever be in a relationship and concentrated on other things like music and tv-shows. Gosh, I was so miserable :D

    But then I've met a person who loves me as I am, and I think it's the best way to make you feel better about your body. Especially when someone kisses your "fat" stomach and says "Oh, that's my sweet belly!" :D
    So now I'm a happy 20-years-old person who feels great about her body :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. " And it is like that: if we hear something long enough we will start to think like that and even start to make it to be who we are. " That's exactly what I was thinking while reading your post.
    I see this everyday, classmates who know things and they think they're better than others, and they call other persons "stupid" or in many other ways.

    Now, answering your questions. The way I see myself in the mirror depends on my mood in the moment of looking at myself (I noticed that usually in the morning I like me more). But I can't say I like the way I look, and I want to get thinner...
    And, on the other side, commenting on what you said, the society we live in encourages skinny girls, and we got to the point where we're scared looking at models these days. To be a model you have to be super-skinny (even though, you may ask any ordinary guy, they don't like women that are so thin). This is unhealthy too.
    And you, Anette... You're 40. You're not a teenager anymore, so you can't expect to look like one. But most of the women your age long for a body like yours. You look very, very good and you should be proud, considering all the hard work and the effort that you make, also the fact that you're the mother of two happy kids, and your life isn't really the most responsability-less one. Plus, you've got talent. Anything "wrong" with your body is compensated by that, God gave you this gift and we're all thankful for entertaining us with it.
    We should be thankful that we're all healthy, we have our hands and our legs, we hear, we speak, we SING, we play, we drive, we do all the ordinary things, that may seem normal to us, but we're actually so lucky to have them, because there are so many others out there who don't have the normal life that we have.
    Take care and stop thinking about you in the wrong ways. Enjoy your strength and your health.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hello Anette!
    Thanks for sharing your story with us. You looks beautiful as always ;)

    Well, my story is not very interesting. I was never very thin. I always had a problem: I was always too high. Already in elementary school I was higher than the teacher and for this I was ashamed a bit. Luckily, my growth has stopped they and now I'm 1.80 m high. Now I have friends who are higher than me :) Even now I'm not so thin, but I feel good in my body.
    One thing I would change about myself is my voice, cause sometimes sounds like masculine voice. For this you can not do anything, so I have to live with this voice. All in all I feel good with myself and with my body.

    I hope you, Johan and the children are ok.
    Big hug and lots of kisses to you and your nice family :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hi Anette! It's been a while since I last wrote here, but today I just felt like sharing :)

    When I was born, I was a very chubby kid. I was born with almost 5kg, and I was not FAT, but chubby during all my childhood. And my brothers, sister and my mom used to call me "Gorda" , that was my nickname beacuse I was born so heavy (It means FAT in Portuguese).

    WhenI started my teen years, :I started to lose weight, but it was not because of any diets or anything, it's just that I was growing up. So my teen years were not hard because I was thin, too thin actually, but they still called me fat, because apparently that's a "cute" nickname for them.. And actually, I don't think it's that cute.

    When I started college :I was still very thin, not unhealthy thin, just thin. I'm not tall and I used to weigh 50kg...

    Then, some years ago, I had a problem with my ovaries. I had several ovary cysts and those make me gain some weight. Not a lot, but enough to make me feel uncomfortable. I gained weight to fast, lost a lot of clothes and now I still have to endure they calling me fat, chubby.

    I don't live with my family, and every time I see them I have to hear them telling me how fat I look, how I should do something because I was so thin. I don't think I'm that fat, I weight 70kg. It's a little overweight for my height and age. According to some doctors, O should be 60kg tops.

    Last year I actually started gym, but the problem is I don't have much time to work out because I work during the day and study at night, so there's no time for me to really apply myself with the exercises.

    I went to the gym for 3 months and didn't lose not even 1 kg, so I stopped because it wasn't doing it for me.

    I'm ok with my body, the problem is that I have to hear that I'm fat all the time, even from my girlfriend. she's always telling me how I should do something as well, because she met me when i was very thin , but the problem is that I really don't know what to do to lose some weight because I really don't have time to work out and don't want to go on some crazy ass diets where people don't eat anything. I don't eat much, but I eat.

    So, I dont give a fuck actually, but when people start telling me that i'm fat, that's what makes me feel bad. And of course, it's not easy to buy clothes aswell because i don't like tight clothes, never liked them, and now that i'm a little overweight,i really don't want tight clothes that show off my belly. So when I go to stores to try some clothes on, I don't feel so good because I love buying at Zara , for exemple, and their clothes are for extremelly thing women. Sometime sI can find some clothes that fit me and look good, but it's really hard to find something I really like.

    Well. I guess that's it.to summorize, i don't have really big problems with my body when i'm alone, only when people are telling me that i'm fat or when i want to but some clothes and cannot find the appropriate size.

    See ya :)

    ReplyDelete
  31. Hi Anette ^^

    When I read what you wrote, I started to think about my body. I’m 19 years old now, and some years ago, I felt like…to be apart in the group, you know? Like if I didn’t match with them.
    When I was a little kid, I was taller than the others and thin. I was an energic girl too.
    I was 8, when I became really different; all the girls in my classroom had no curves, no hips, no boobs. But I had, and the kids pointed me saying that I wasn’t normal, and I began to think: “They are right, there’s something wrong with me”. Even the girls said that I was a monster, and people stopped talking to me.The doctor said that I had a bad ‘premature growth’ problem, which means that I will grow like a woman, but with my eight-years-old height….I didn’t understand him in that moment, I just thought about what my classmates said. After the medical treatment, I grew up like the others, full grown, and it was quite funny that the girls wanted my curves now, =)
    Today (height 1’66) I’m ok with my body. Of course there are people who are taller, or thinner, but I like my body in the way it is. Now when I remembered that I say: “what a stupid thing , I were like the others, not a monster”, but for a kid, those words can hurt.
    That’s why I am worried about my little sister (she is 6) because she has born with cleft lip, and she has been operated when she was one month old. Her mouth looks ok now, maybe her nose looks a little bit strange and of course it’s needed a surgery intervention to fix it. But she is happy with that, she laughs and smiles all the time, it’s amazing how a kid accept herself, cause being like her with all her friends looking at her in a strange way or asking her all the time, isn’t easy….But she knows that she will have the best nose in the family hehehe :D we are strong girls ! ^^
    Kisses from Spain
    Andrea =)

    ReplyDelete
  32. This is such a huge topic, and it will never be discussed to an end. It is truly important that young girls and boys learn to see that they are not alone. Even if they're not bullied but "just" unhappy about their bodies, it is a really important issue.

    From looking at you and your body it it so hard to imagine that you've been bullied about it and felt unhappy about it. It is really strong to tell us all about it, and I really appreciete it. I'm sure all of us has thought from time to time while looking at other persons that their bodies look great, but from their own eyes there might be things they hate. It really feel good to know you're not alone.

    I've been overweight all my life. Today I can look back and wonder how I managed to keep away from any eating disorder starving myself, cause I've heard so many times that I am fat and ugly. But I was also bullied for about anything you can remember, the way I talked, the way I was as a person, the music I liked, the clothes I wore...And I guess that I felt that to change what people bullied me about would not be solved if I loosed weight.

    I am still overweight, and I look in the mirror some days hating what I see. But also I have learned to live with my body the way it is. I work out and try to be healthy, but you know all those extra pounds won't just disappear from one week to another. I try to see the little things I like, and be proud of them. The ones I don't like I work on every day to accept the way they are..

    There is a song by a band named Otep called Perfetly Flawed. They sing:
    "You're perfectly flawed.
    You're perfectly incomplete
    Let them condemn
    Imperfections will keep you unique"
    I try to think of them evertime I look at my body in the mirror. Cause isn't that the true beauty in us all, learning to accept that we might not me flawless and perfect but we are all beautiful anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  33. This is a great post... First you look awesome so don't think you don't..

    - I was also made fun of in middle school and into high school, people commented on my waist and my legs. It was horrible and it did scar me and does to a point today. I never had a six pack and I don't try anymore. I exercise twice a day 5 days a week, morning run 30 - 40 minutes and lift weights when I get home from work. I am in better shape now than when I was in high school but I still can't see me abs and it bothered me several ago. I even went to a body building diet and even though I lost body fat I still could not see my abs. So I did some soul searching a few years ago and realized that it is not meant to be beacuse of my genetics. So now I enjoy life so much better without thinking about it.

    I felt your pain in your message, people can be so mean and not everyone is created the same.

    Have a good evening.
    Rodney

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hi Anette!

    I'm in a bit similar situation with you, but still quite the opposite. ;)

    I've always been a bit bigger than others, I've always had big boobs and have more curves than rest of the girls at my school. I never felt that I was enormously bigger or fat, not before our school's public health nurse, who told me that I should definetly lose some weith when I was at my teens. Ever since that moment I've compared myself to the others. That time it hit me: I was the biggest person in our school, I'm the fat one! That led me into a some kind of depression and self-hatred. (Even though I really wasn't the biggest one.)

    All my life ever since that moment I've hated my body. It's so difficult for me to find some good things from my body when I look it from the mirrow. Even though everybody tries to tell me how beautiful I am and how they envy my curves, I never believe them. I still feel that I'm fat and ugly. And all of my friends and family members are thin, so I always feel like I stand out like a sore thumb when I'm with them. Not to mention, that all of my friends get boys' attention, never me.

    I'm slowly getting rid of the self-hatred and bad self-esteem, but it still makes me sick to watch photos of me. I'm not overweight, I know that, but I'm not thin either. And no matter how much I exercise or look after what I eat, I don't lose any weight. Maybe that's a good thing in a way, at least that has prevented me getting an eating disorder. :)

    I want to say you a deepest thank you for sharing your story with us. It really made me think things more and you really helped me to understand that I don't need to be a supermodel in order to be beautiful. And remeber: you're the most beautiful woman in the world, no matter what :)

    With hugs and love,
    Henna

    ReplyDelete
  35. Oh, hard topic Anette, for me its been hard...im a singer myself too, and i love having fun and doing a good show and i always give my entire best on the stage, but im a BIG girl, im 1.80 mts. tall, and weight over 90 kg. and sometimes people tell me i dont look good on stage at all, 'cus im BIG, and even when i enjoy myself on stage there's always a thought in my mind that "hey dont do this or that 'cus you're fat and won't look good at you" or "dont put that t-shirt or pants on, you look fat"..... i havent wear a dress in so long 'cus i hate my legs I feel like they're too big to wear a dress so i dont wear it, and so on...
    it's hard, especialy when im a singer and i got to be always on the spotlight...

    Nice to know you came over this Anette :)
    I think you're a great woman and if you have any advise for me,i'll appreciate that :)

    have a grat day, xoxo

    Carmen Hernández

    ReplyDelete
  36. Hello Anette.

    You are not fat.
    Try to wear black clothes.
    Especially black trousers.
    And you are not old. Never think so. If you will think so, then in 50% you are already dead.

    And don't show that you are not a sure of yourself. Be self asure like Leon The Professional.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Hi Anette!
    Well actualy, my body is a big problem for me. I see on the internet, many girls, with beautiful hair, very skinny, with beautiful eyes color. When I look in the mirror, I see a monster. I've in my mind, what I want to be. It's like a goal. I want a tatoo on my belly, but It's not very beautiful on curves. It's for this, that I want to loose my little belly.
    In fact, since I've been raped, I never see myself like before. Every day, I try to eat less, move more. But it's difficult, and there no results for me. I'm tired of fight against myself for this. I dislike all. Even my eyes's colour. I wanted to be blond but... my hair are "orange". I'm too small, I'm 1m56. But i can't do nothing for that. It's like, everytime I try to fix a physical problem, It's an Epic fail. Now I just look like nothing. It's hard to don't love the person who we are. Maybe with time, we'll be ok with that.
    In any cases, you are beautiful. You are an inspiration for many people... and me.

    Enjoy your day :)
    With Love
    Kiveen

    ReplyDelete
  38. I am a 19 year old young man and I am totally dissatisfied with myself.
    I hate my body but i cannot do anything against it.

    I am damn underweight. with my 1,86m size I have to fight that i can hold my 60kg :(
    I know that it is a danger for my life in perpetuity. And everyone is making bad jokes about me and my body. But often i fool myself first so they cannot see that it is hurting when they laugh.

    I also start to lose my hair (with 19!!!) and that throws me into depression at night or when i am alone.

    I have to use classes..and I hate it! I think it makes me ugly so on photoes I try to be without it.

    And there a further reasons why I am so dissatisfied with myself. It is really really hard for me to see colors. They slowy fade away year for year. It got so hard that I cannot see if it is red oder green at the traffic lights (at daytime its ok because i can see if the point down oder the point over it is shining..but at night i just see a flying point in the dark and i cannot say if its red or green.)

    Thats really hard for me especially as the educater i want to become. Its never funny to ask a 4 year old girl which color i hold in my hand. Or if they ask for e.g. brown i have to give them the full box of pencils. I cannot keep them apart anymore. And colors are so important for children.

    To my mind these are no problems where i can say "well, thats the way it is..".
    It damages my body but i will never gain weight to reach a normal weight. I will never get rid of my glasses and my hair will never return just like the colors. I will never see them like other humans. I am afraid that i will see them no more soon..just black, gray and white..

    ReplyDelete
  39. Hi Anette.

    First of all: don't let anybody tell you that you're ugly or fat or anything like that shit, because you're NOT.

    Secondly: Thank you for being interested in us. I really like to tell you things about me and my life. =)

    I am actually very fat due to the fact that I don't have any time for doing sports. There's so much to do for school and when I don't get a certain amount of hours every day where I can just, well, chill and do what I like, I'll soon feel caged. And sports is definitely not among the things I like.

    Of course I've been bullied at school because of my weight (that stopped about two years ago; now my classmates are very, very nice, so I can easily forgive them). At that time, it was so terrible and I really wished to be someone else or at least in someone else's body, but now, when I think about it, I'm just like "so what?".
    I've always had friends who accepted me the way I am and the ones who bullied me because of my weight were just some boys which also bullied me for other reasons. As my teacher said, it's just a phase of their lives that probably every boy goes through and I understand that they liked to make fun of other people and didn't think about how their "victims" felt.
    That doesn't mean that everyone who is or has been bullied should be understanding. There are really rude people who think they're superior and just can't stop making other people feel bad. I'm glad that in my case it was only, well, a matter of adolescence. I'm aware of situations where people go through much worse and by no means they should think they have to understand the ones who bully them.

    So far, I've written very much by my standarts and I hope you don't mind most of it being off-topic.

    You asked about how we feel or what we say to ourselves when looking in the mirror. Well, sometimes I find myself pretty and sometimes I do not, which doesn't necessarily depend on my mood. When I find myself ugly on one day, the best thing for me to do is to forget about it and avoid mirrors. I like my body, just because I can't imagine myself being thin. It's not that I love being fat or that it fits my personality very much (could that even be possible?), but I've always been this way and so my body is completely fine with me. Of course I wouldn't mind growing about 20cm this year and losing weight this way but I won't diet or something like that. Maybe I will when I'm older. You know, I'm still very young (underage) and I don't have to worry about my health that much. The last time I've missed a day at school was about eight and a half months ago, and it was mainly because I was afraid of a class test. =)

    Some people say that I'm very shy and they immediately think it's because of my weight but there are other reasons, like for example figuratively running against walls when crying for attention or being too self-confident in the past.

    Anette, you can't imagine how nice it is to write to you about these things! When writing down what I think about a certain topic of my life I can really feel how everything gets clearer in my head. There are very good reasons for me to love my life, as I commented on another blog entry.

    I hope I didn't annoy you with what I wrote.
    Have a very nice day and rest of the week,
    Luisa

    ReplyDelete
  40. Hi Anette. I like to do talks.
    I am thin and tall (1.88 m) but that does not have other defects. I have a jaw problem and I'm always wrong. The solution is to operate but I will not do. So I have to be all my life with this problem, and only I have 21 years. All need to feel attractive, makes us happier. About you, Anette, you're great, you're beautiful and you have very beautiful eyes. Kisses for everyone

    ReplyDelete
  41. Dearest Anette,

    Oh…first of all, I must say you just wrote a very deep and touching post, and I very much appreciated reading it, and I want you to know how much strength you have to have just written this. So, before I explore my thoughts on my own body, I would like to say a few other things first. First of all, I would like to say that I think you are beautiful, for so many reasons. On the inside, I suppose it would be unfair of me to pass judgment, simply because we’ve never met, but from everything I can tell from reading this blog, watching interviews etc, I believe you are a stunningly beautiful person on the inside, as for the outside, I believe the same, and I always have since I first saw a picture of you. For truth be told, beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, and is almost entirely based upon opinion. I myself, as a woman, have always thought curvy figures looked nicer and decently sized breasts, though I believe people at either end of the spectrum can also look very beautiful. I think your curves and breasts are very flattering and attractive on you, and fit your shape very well, I believe you have excellent legs and how hard you work to stay in shape definitely shows through. And also, I must comment on you have the loveliest face, with such beautiful feminine features. From having a tiny, curvy nose to large eyes and very full lips, I believe you have a beautiful face.

    Anyway, I know I’ve commented on how beautiful I find you before, but I just thought since we were on the subject I would go into a bit more detail on why, I hope you don’t mind. And just to wrap this part of the conversation up, as I am sure you know, many women are obviously built and meant to have curves and larger breasts, and the people who want you to actually loose so much weight that those things disappear are promoting a very narrow minded and unhealthy lifestyle. And once again, yes, what say about being careful about what you say, even lightly to people is very vital. Obviously some people are more sensitive and some have more confidence, but you should always be careful. Commenting on someone’s looks is a very personal subject, and the first person you really need to be beautiful to is yourself, and truth be told, someone who is anorexic is more unhealthy than someone who is a bit overweight, which of course you aren’t, in fact, you are quite slim. (Also, this comment is going to be so long that I am going to break it into two, so that it remains readable, heh, Alexandria)

    ReplyDelete
  42. (Part two of my comment)

    So, now let’s look about how I think of my own body. Well, I suppose when I first began to notice and care about how I looked in any type of extreme was around 11, and very shortly after I hit that point, all I wanted were larger breasts and more curves, to be honest. Not only because to me those are some of the major points of a sexy mature woman, but also because I liked the way they looked for my own personal reasons. Of course, there were some other things I began to notice after I first started to really become in touch with my entire body, and there were some things that I was very pleased with and others I hoped would change. Given that I began to care from such a young age, there were many things I had to wait and see about, of course. However, there were some days when I felt more ‘down’ about myself, but I’ve always been a very strong, ‘I need to look at this from a logical and appropriate standpoint’ type of person, so I never allowed myself to get too carried away. Now, of course, I have gained some of the things I sought such as having more prominent curves, which I still adore having, and there other things that won’t change, but I believe everyone needs to accept that your body will change over time, though more slowly in some periods of life.

    I believe having confidence and embracing your body as you put it, is very important, and on a whole I love my body. I’ve always been extremely thin, and I’ve never really watched what I eat or the amounts I eat, aside from always eating organic and all natural, and making sure I have a balance of vegetables, fruits, grains, meats, etc. Some people say that I am ‘too’ thin, but I am actually just slim to be honest, especially given that I haven’t lost my shape (curves, etc) in the slightest. Obviously if someone is quite unhappy with themselves, first of all they need to assess if they are at an age where it is fair to judge, and if they are, there are some things you can change, of course. Such as exercises that shape your figure and legs, etc, and what you eat and what type of products you use has a major effect on the condition of your face and skin, of course, but other than those changes that you can conduct yourself, I believe you need to find a peace with yourself. Everyone is unique, and of course what dress and makeup you use can have a major effect on how you look, and I love clothes and makeup, but also believe it’s important not to ‘hide’ behind it, and to be able to find yourself beautiful without it on, and it’s also important to give your face a rest from makeup, especially if you are not using organic brands, of course.

    While, on this subject, I suppose I could give on my thoughts on plastic surgery. I don’t believe it is a bad thing, though I would never get it myself, but I do believe people need to do it within moderation and perspective. I believe it is important that they don’t loose their true selves into it, that they have thought it through, and that they are doing it for themselves, and not because someone has pressured them into it.

    Anyway, I apologize profusely for this long comment, but I felt the need to express my thoughts on it fully. Once again, you are a beautiful person, Anette, both inside and out, and you showed a lot of strength to write this post. I pray this is a beautiful day for you. Oh, and thank you for the cute picture, I am glad you feel well today and I believe the freshness shows in your face :).

    With much love and warm wishes,
    Alexandria.

    ReplyDelete
  43. hello anette!how are you doing!?i dont know how i must begin talk about this,but i will tell you everything...
    i am only 14 years old but i know that body is one of important things in life!i am thin,becouse i am walking every day,i am keen on sport and it means that i am athlete!for this my body looks like normal and well,but i am not so tall fro my age and i am worried!i dont know what to do????!does anybody knows it?

    ReplyDelete
  44. Hi Anette,

    It's quite the big subject you have this morning! Thanks for sharing this with us, nowadays it's so important to talk about this.

    As for me, as far as i can remember i never was big. But it's how i see it now, when i was in high school i was conviced that i was fat even if i wasnt ( was just a little curvy ). One thing that doesnt help us is that we are always looking at pictures of extra-thin women. ( models, stars ... etc .. ) The media keeps showing us an ideal nearly impossible to reach ( and often the pictures are re arrange with photo shop ).

    We need to stop thinking bad about ourselve and embrace the way we are. Our beauty is in our difference. I've got older now and i am much more curvy than i was back then. I like to think i've grown up and really become a women. :)

    One nice thing i like for us is the " Dove campain for real beauty ". It's all about us getting so much pressure with beauty and they want to help women have a better self esteem. You can have a look there if you are curious about it : http://www.dove.ca/en/default.aspx#/cfrb/girlsonly/

    This video they made is amazing too : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U

    So of course as everyone i have bad days when i feel fat and ugly, but i really try to talk to myself and tell me that i am beautiful and that my body is beautiful the way it is. Curiously one thing that helps me with that is to have dance class. Even tho i am not the best, i love to dance and it makes me feel graceful and beautiful. :)

    Again, thanks a lot for sharing this with us.

    You are a extremely beautiful person inside and outside. No matter the look you choose ( differents hair color, different clothes style ...) you always look stunning ! :)

    Big hug from Canada
    Annick

    ReplyDelete
  45. Oh, and Anette, just a couple more things I thought of, for I was just reading over your Blog post once again and some more thoughts came to mind. Well, before I go into too much depth, first of all, I would like to say I am very sorry for what you had to go through during those dance classes, and I am so glad that you were able to get yourself out of it. I suppose it may have been a strengthening experience in some areas, but from what I can tell, it appears to be on a whole something you would have been better off without in your life. And I do know that like all celebrities that you receive a lot of immature and disrespectful comments, but I would also like to say I am always searching Nightwish related videos, pictures, interviews etc, and I also see a ton of comments, as I sure you also see, not only complimenting you, but also to be more exact to this subject - saying how beautiful and sexy they find your curves. But then, I am sure you know a lot of people do love that shape on women, and you know how men are - they always like larger breasts and more curves, hehe.

    Anyway, I am so glad that you have to peace with yourself, and it really does bring tears to my heart to think of how long you went not finding yourself as the beautiful woman that you are. But you are a very strong person, Anette, you’ve proven this many times :). Also, I would like to say while we are on this subject that you do not look your age in the slightest. When I first saw a video of you, which I believe was the Bye-Bye Beautiful music video, I thought you were 29, and even now that you are a bit older, in these pictures that you post, I still do not believe you look much older than 32:).

    May God Bless you and your family,

    Alexandria

    ReplyDelete
  46. Hi, Anette! This topic is very important for many girls and women, especially today when the self image that media is promoting is fake and ridiculous. We keep comparing ourselves to those pictures in the magazines, forgetting it’s all fake. This leads us to strive for impossible, to illness and depression.
    What is great about your post, and this kind of things always surprise me, is that we see that even you, that look so good and that many girls wish to look like, even you have (or used to have) your insecurities. I bet looking at your pictures from concerts, etc., one could never thought of it. But this also shows how often noone else sees that “flaws”, or at least they aren’t as big in th eyes of other people.
    I was always “too thin”, even with eating normally and all kind of food – white bread, chocolate, pizza, anything. I was hearing all the time how I should eat more, jokes about how wind could blow me away, etc. Once a professor called me a “pocket sized chicken” in front of the whole class. They thought it’s hilarious. And those moments when a whole class of people is laughing at you seem to last forever, like they’re in a slow motion. Sometimes during high school I really felt like a freak.
    Then when I gained a bit of weight (I had 50 kg), I was actually happy and thought that there will be no more comments, but no. A close friend even said how I used to be tiny, but now I was pretty chubby. With 50 kg! Later, starting a life of a collage student and eating from the bakery a lot, I actually noticed that I’m gaining belly fat and I changed some things in my diet and try to exercise while I can, although there isn’t much time. But I changed things because I wanted to, not because of others. Leaving high school and meeting different kind of people that couldn’t care less about my weight made me realise there was never anything wrong with how I looked because that’s how I am naturally, I didn’t influence it by starving or anything. And all those people that loved to comment on it, I guess they have some problems with themselves and their own self-confidence so they picked on me to feel better and put the attention on me. Or they are simply mean. Whatever it is, they are lame and I don’t care about them anymore. I used to feel bad when someone was mean like that, I couldn’t understand it because I don’t think like that, I never have the attention to make someone feel bad, I couldn’t understad why they were mean. But now I know that they aren’t worth bothering to think about them, and I’m happy because I was strong and they didn’t get to me although they obviously thought I was weak. That is the thing. You have to try and stay strong and not listen to frustrated people. And always be grateful for what you have. A few pounds more or a big nose are great problems to have, compared to many other troubles. Think about it, isn’t it a pure luck that we are born in times with no slavery, or that you aren’t a redheaded woman in the medievel times that knows a thing or two about herbs?

    ReplyDelete
  47. Hi Nettie :) first of all, you are not fat! You have the most perfect body, even with some weight It compliments your body perfectly.
    I myself was always a heavy child... I reached my highest weight ever at 14 and always degraded myself about it. When I was 15, I lost about 35 lbs. Now at 17, I've lost a total of 45 lbs.
    Its not intentional, and I'm suffering for it... My body seems to be working against me, because I have treated it so poorly lately :( I never thought in my life I'd weigh 100 lbs...
    But I am striving to eat more everday, even if its difficult at times and I don't even want to change in front of a mirror. I hope I will be stronger and gain some weight these coming days.. <3

    ReplyDelete
  48. Hey Anette,
    From a guy's point of view, women with curves are attractive. I saw nightwish perform in Denver and Portland on your last tour, and I thought you looked great. Just my opinion. :)

    I worry about weight only from a standpoint of running: if I'm at a good bmi then I run more efficiently. If I didn't care about running I'd probably weigh a lot more, haha.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts as always.

    Cheers.
    Nathan,
    Denver

    ReplyDelete
  49. Hi Anette,
    This is a very good subject you brought up. Personally I despise how I look and try not to look in any mirrors if I can help it,i'm currently rather large and my hair has gotten very thin. So I can't say I really have much of a figure right now.
    On the subject of the bullying.
    After my father passed back when I was 8, I comfort ate and put some extra weight. When I went to high school I got bullied badly because of it and beaten up almost daily, which like in your case lead to depression. I was stuck on anti depressants for a good while which piled on even more pounds. Eventually I said enough's enough, left the school sixth form half way into my first year and threw the anti depressants away as they made me feel worse.
    4 years later though, I still suffer with bad mental scarring from the abuse I suffered at school. It's to the point now of where I can't even trust people and im constantly paranoid about what others think about me. People don't think before they act these days unfortunatly, which often leads to others suffering.
    Have a good day,
    Kas

    ReplyDelete
  50. Hey anette,
    First of all you're not fat at all.

    I am a teenage male and I am very sensitive about my weight, I keep gaining weight then losing it again. Last summer I lost three stone (38pounds) and I put it back on again. I've tried to lose the weight again and so far i've lost 10 pounds then last night my Granddad called me fat. I was so hurt :/

    ReplyDelete
  51. Hi Anette! I had the same problem - all of the guys like skinny girls woth no butt and breasts and I started diets after diets. The result was an almost dead stomach - I can't drink green tea anymore, I can't eat much and it's always about to poke. I just hated eating although I lost 10 kilos. Now I am much better and managed to accept my body (it's not that bad at all I just need proper clothes :) ) but my stomach will be the same for a lifetime - and I am only 18 yet :( I was stupid, but I always say that everything happens on purpose. I'm sure I've learnt my lesson. However I wonder how you looked like when you were young :) can you show us pics (if you want to, ofcourse)
    Kisses and hugs to you all!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  52. Terve Anette,

    I don't have any illness which makes me gain weight
    - btw, @Driele: you have a very moving story, I hope you will get rid of the tumour one day and be finally the one you want to be!-
    , but almost everyone in my family is kinda chubby, and so am I, too.

    I was a really thin child, but then my grandparents (I live with them since I was a little baby) started cramming me. I gained a lot of weight and wasn't able to get rid of it 'til today, so that I am overweight.

    I don't know exactly why they did this to me, but I have a guess.
    I think they wanted to bind me on them (really fat people are not able to manage their life on their own). They are kinda clingy and afraid of being alone. They still see the little child in me and not the young woman I am today. They don't want to let me go.
    Especially my grandma shows this feelings. It's not a bad thing if your family wants to have you near, but it is morbid what my grandma feels. She just don't gets it that I am a free person and not the one who she wants me to be.

    But I digress.

    Short said, I am overweight because of my morbid grandparents. I were mocked all the way in my schooltime, but since I'm a fighter, I have learned how to ignore the bullying and to love myself. I am what I am, and that's good.

    I am working on losing weight, but I don't want to be that kind of "ballet girl" the media presents as the "perfect woman". I have breasts, hips, everything. And I know that there are man out there which love this kind of woman, so I don't think that I don't get a boyfriend one day (there are a lot boys out there which were in love with me, but I never felt anything for them, so a relationship would've been in vain). Some people said that I would not find a partner, but as you can see, I don't believe that.

    I talk way too much ;D

    Hugs,
    Naudiz

    ReplyDelete
  53. At last I could read your interview in the Swedish magazine, which photo you spread. I want to tell that I despise people, which spoke (and tell) mucks about you. And I don't understand them. Many people who at all don't know you personally, say about you such awful things that to me becomes sad. We, your admirers, often had quarrels to those who watered you with a dirt at forums. I understand that many can't get used to that you sing now in group. And I am am angered by comparisons you with Tarjа. I to you want to tell - don't pay attention to malicious people, God will punish them for that angrily that they create. Remember that you have a sea of fans, we love you, Anette. Never cry.
    With love, Ira from Russia.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Good evening
    I also would like to say: you are not fat! :-) And If you would be fatter, it's not a crime! :-)

    I guess everybody has his ups and downs about his or her body. Even people that look so perfect in our eyes. As long as you can still accept your body and not feel too negative about it, then I guess it's allright. I don't like people who think they are perfect.

    So I also have some ups and downs, but finally I can accept myself.
    For example I don't think I'm too fat. But I have a little belly. And when I'm getting fatter, it's first of all my belly that is getting fatter.
    My perfect view of a womans body is a body with a flat belly, but with breasts and a bottom that jump a bit out. So not too skinny. I'm happy with my breasts, but I wish my fat was more on my bottom in stead of on my belly.

    Kram

    ReplyDelete
  55. Hi Anette,

    You and I are around the same age, and it is just now that I am starting to shed years of poor self-image and self esteem issues relating to my body. I was bullied from the age of 6 all the way through highs school for being fat.

    When I was in my late 20s, I saw photos of myself from those times that my mother had in her photo collection and I burst into tears, because, at the height of this bullying I saw that the photos revealed a very different story: I was not in any way shape or form fat.

    Long story short, I have an illness that caused me to gain a lot of weight because of the medications I had to take, but now that I am better and am off those medications, the weight is coming off well. But more importantly, as I am now the healthiest I've ever been in my life, I am finding a confidence in myself I've never had before.

    But as I age, I am finding that confidence comes from different things, not necessarily looks: it comes from wisdom, experience, and a strong sense of self. Journeying through illness and recovery has allowed me to become a stronger person mentally and emotionally, and now that is translating into physical strength and a new appreciation for my curves as well!

    It's hard to be a woman in this day and age, with so many messages being thrown at us from pop culture and advertising. Younger women, I think, need to know that beauty is not about the body or the face: it's a about confidence, knowing who you are, and having a strong sense of self! It's not about diet and exercise and who has bigger breasts or the flattest stomach. It's about finding your inner strength and showing that off!

    Thanks for this post, Anette!

    ReplyDelete
  56. Hello Anette !!
    Im really glad that you decided to love yourself and your body !! Humans are the worst creation ever ... Everyone has their own world and way of being,but people are bad ... We try to be perfect like everyone wants,but no,we are perfect in our own way,and some people dont like that.
    I think that Humans are evil and god at the same time,there are a few amazing people in this world like many of your blog readers,you and the Nightwish members !
    Anette,you are a gorgeous woman,words arent enough to describe how beautiful you are !
    You are in a great shape,you have a great style and you are a strong woman ! Dont feel bad about yourself because of the others,because for me you are a hero and a role model,because you are a real person and humble,i admire you. Even if you were fat i would still love you,no matter how you look i would always love you and respect you !
    About my body,its a bit hard to talk about that ... Im 13 years old and in these ages girls are evil ...
    For me its hard because im 1,50cm,im very small and that makes me look like more curvy.
    When my family is mad at me they call me fat,my mum,sister,grandfather...And that really hurts me :'(
    I try to be always perfect,in school always great marks,at home trying to help and i get tired ... I dont have both of my parents to talk,i dont see my dad,my mum is always away and i dont get love from them to be stronger.
    My grandfather and my sister are the ones who help our family but they are a bit agressive in what they say,they say that i am always wrong and weird and fat ... I dont have more family,only brother,sister,mother and granfather...
    My brother is very young so he cant understand.
    At school some girls dont like me because i dont act the same way like them,i dont care these things soon will be a thing of the past.
    But now,i try to love myself,why not ?
    In the future i will be a better person than them,i respect myself and the others.
    Im very down-to-earth and smart.The ones who love me can see the beauty in me,and i try to see it.
    But i feel soo unhappy,not only for my body but for my life.
    Im a bit lost,i dont know what to do ...
    I have many dreams,i want to be a singer,but in my country there is no chance,and everyone wants to be a singer but they cant,maybe i will be some of them.
    I was a ballet dancer and swimmer when i was younger,but now the body changed and i feel unhappy with that ...
    But i know that i am strong,i have family problems and a person with those problems at school is always rebel but i am not,i study to get a future,i take care of my brother,i have to grow more fast.
    But now i realised that i love who i am,im small but that isnt a big problem,i love my green eyes,i love my face,my body isnt of a model,but so what ? Im perfect in my own .
    Its hard to be always positive,but with time everything will be fine :)
    (I cried a little bit while writting this,but i think it was good lol )
    Thanks for this post Anette,and thanks for sharing with us your problems and listen to our problems :)
    Kisses and Hugs from Portugal
    Liliana

    ReplyDelete
  57. I'm glad you brought this topic up, its one of those things everybody can relate to, and most of us women have felt at some point or continously in our lives. I'm very familiar with this feeling, I have both polycystic ovary syndrome and hypothyroidism so I have to medical issues that separate or combined would make me naturally overweight/obese. But with constant exercise and portioning my food well I have managed to stay at 160cm for 57kg. Its not easy, and it was even less easy seeing thinner friends who can eat more and not exercise be thinner than me. But after a few years, I have finally come to accept myself and tell myself that my weight is still within a normal range, and that after all regular exercise is not only healthy but makes you feel good :)

    Hugs,
    Sonia

    ReplyDelete
  58. I have had bulimia for 12 years. It started when my mother believes that I was too fat and said that I should lose weight. I had no friends, so I found a way to control my sorrow: food, exercise, and vomiting. Only now I realize that I've been sick and I'm trying very hard to heal. It is possible therapy, and close to that support me more than I would have thought. Confidence rises every day, but I still have much work to do. I hope I will get much better. And learn to love myself as I am.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Hello Anette,
    I'm a bit unhappy of my body. And I don't like to look in the mirror because I think I have a little bit too much weight and I want to work on losing it but I can't. It's not because I'm too lazy, it is this lack of motivation to do it. I can't get myself up to do sports or start a diet...

    Greetings and hugs
    Sarah

    ReplyDelete
  60. Hi Anette

    I've never been happy with my body, I was similar I was always the curvy one in school with the bigger bust and the other girls were all very slender.
    This feeling has never left me, and I really struggled after I had Ethan and developed post natal depression.
    I've been a steady weight but a healthy weight for my height, I'm not classed as being obese or anything but I feel like that.
    I started to get over it a bit after I lost 2 dress sizes in preparation for London.
    However I hate the pictures that turned out of me and Tuomas, I think I look hideous on them. So now all my confidence has left me again.
    We are arranging more fan meetings and I'm now thinking of a crash diet to see if it helps my confidence to meet up with people again.

    Carol

    ReplyDelete
  61. Hello Anette!

    Thank you very much for this topic, because I thik, it´s very hard to write story like yours. But thanks you many people will tell you their stories and open their heart aching. And if someone have problem with like/unlike themselves, I think it´s important to realize, that maybe, they have problems.. Time in which we live is full of skinny and perfectly looking models with amazing bright skin, perfect thin body, no cellulitis. And nowadays itś the top of beauty. But I´m still asking why? No hips, no breasts? And if they have them - photoshop will reliably diminish or erase them.

    But look 30 - 40 years ago - Marilyn Monroe - she had breasts, she had hips and she was one of the most beautiful woman, she was proud of her body, because she looked like WOMAN!
    And this is what we miss nowadays.

    My story is not so interesting. But thanks God, it has nice ending :) I was satsfied with my body, but than my first big love came. And I started to be afraid, I won´t be enough atractive for him. He really loves tight bum :-D and slender legs. But I am not owner of them - I have legs like footballer and wide hips. So, I started to be depressed every time he looked at another slim woman with "perfect" body and beautiful slim and long legs. Once, he just slapped on my legs and my sick mind was like - "oh my God, he´s trying to sugest me, I should do something with my body!" I started to train, run, even I stopped eating. But - no results. Just depressions, tiredness and no mood. My mother noticed, that I am still sad and she asked me what happened? I told her this story and she was angry with him and she even colted him. But he didn´t understand. He told her, that he loves my body and even I do not have and exact figure, what would he constitute - he doesn´t care about it...
    And this is it... This is the beginnig of all diseases like anorexia, bulimia etc. For your partner you can be ideal, but thanks this world and - no hips, no breasts ideal - you start to think you are ugly and nothing. The worst thing was, that I totally lost ego and I didnt´t like myself anymore.

    But you know what really helped me? :) A girl named Lucie and courses of flirt and pole dance :) The first thing she told us was - "you are here to learn dancing and to learn how to love your body and your soul. It doesn´t matter how you look, every woman is beautiful and sexy..." And after few months practicing and training new dance styles I realized - Hell yeah! I can be hot, too :-D
    And I have still legs like footballer and I have still wide hips, but I like my body more and more :) Sometimes I am in bad mood, but it just dissapear quickly.
    Well, this is my story... Like I said it´s not so interesting, but I think many girls have the same problem like I have.

    So, Anette thank you once more for sharing your story!!! (And here I must say, that I think you are very beautiful woman and I really like the way how you care about yourself - I think when woman cares about herself it means she loves herself and this is important!!!! :-* )

    And for DRIELE: I hope, you will get rid of your disease and I´m sending you a lot of strength and support! It´s sad, that your parents are not so supporting, but on the other side it´s amazing you have so great friends!!!!

    Claire

    ReplyDelete
  62. Hi Anette!

    Thank you so much for writing this post. It's always very inspiring to hear that beautiful people who we look up to have the same problems and issues that we do, and can overcome them. <3

    I was a ballet dancer up until age 16, and even though I'm thin by conventional standards, I was fat compared to my fellow dancers. It's no wonder you got bullied by ballerinas, as a whole their worldview is so skewed.

    After I quit dancing I lost a lot of weight, and I have only recently gotten back to a healthy size, at 5 feet 7 inches and 128 pounds.

    Lots of love and keep feeling beautiful, because you are! <3

    ReplyDelete
  63. Hello, Anette, and first of all, I wanna thank you and give you a big "thumbs up" for bringing up this subject and discussing your own memories and situations in your life with us.
    And even though I could only read 5-10 of the comments posted so far, it's a plan of mine to go through all of them one by one, 'cause it's honestly a subject that I'm very interested in, since it's an issue I still have trouble with, at the moment.
    I don't have too big of a "story" in fact. My "problem" consists of quite the opposite of yours, as in, I'm one of those thin and curve-less girls who would actually like to have bigger breasts, a more violin-y figure and such. I'm not exactly flat as a pancake, BUT I always have this thing, looking at other girls and wishing I looked like them. Not having a major problem with it, but still some little "envy" problems, to call them so, when I see this girl with perfect proportions etc. And I didn't have this thing before, I mean, I am now 18 years old and I didn't struggle with this at 15-16 years of age, for example, when most teenagers are very aware of their looks and always compare themselves to others. So I don't know where did this come from, but it doesn't only regard the body or figure, but the whole overall appearance, as in, I wanna be *this* and *that* and *that actress over there* and *that girl over there*, wanting to have X's flawless skin, Y's eyes and so on. Which seems kind of psychotic to me, but it actually isn't, cause it's not like I actually *WANT* them, I guess.
    Oh well.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Hey Anette!

    I think it's very good that you pay attention to the subject in this way, it's an important matter and it can influence you so much as you say.

    For me, my body is a big issue. One the one hand I know that my body is a good body, nothing wrong with it, it's not ugly or anything and even though I eat a lot, I don't get fat.
    On the other hand I have a lot of trouble accepting my body, because even though it might be good, it doesn't feel as if it's mine. I can't relate to it, and I hate it with a passion. The point is that I don't feel like I should have a girls body, so it's a struggle to see yourself with that every time again. Also I'm definately not flatchested and my family tends to have wide hips. I'm 16 now, my body is still changing, and I hope with every part of me that when I get back from Finland in june, I can go to a psychiater with my parents, and hopefully get testosterone as soon as possible, to prevent the last part of changing into a woman from happening.

    But now I know for myself what it is that has always been bothering me, and made me different, I can have peace with it and I accept it as a part of me. It also makes it easier to deal with the way I look because I know now that it's within my reach to change it :)
    Nevertheless it's still hard for me to share it with other people, and there are still so many people who don't know, including my parents. I just hope that the people around me will accept me for it and help me in the process.

    Take care and thanks for sharing your view :)

    'Anouk

    ReplyDelete
  65. Hi!
    I'm not a girl so skinny, but I'm not fat, but like me anyway.
    There are people who live in the body, only the body and the body.
    This is not necessary and I think it's wrong, of course this is also a health issue but do not think it necessary to live exercising in order to live well.
    Some girls live worshiping your body and your appearance, they want to change here and there and find fault anywhere.
    They say: "I have to lose more 5 kg because I'm too fat, I have become more beautiful"
    You do not need to be pretty slim, you must be careful, if you've always been a little more plump than the others that is normal after all this is how you always were and always will be so (as you said, Annette).
    These same girls are waiting for Prince Charming, the one who will love if they are thin and beautiful. I'm not a princess and I'm the boy who loves me the way I am.
    Honestly, if I were fatter, would still be happy with me since he was healthy.
    And Anette, I never thought you fat, you always felt normal, not too fat nor too thin.
    Glad you're happy with yourself, that's great. =)
    Enjoy yourn day.
    Letícia Monique

    ReplyDelete
  66. Hi Anette !
    Thank you for sharing this personnal thought about your body. You're right, words hurt more than anything else, words are printed in your mind and it's very painful.
    I'm 32 and I've always had too much weight. But when I was 14 I felt I was so ugly and fat that I began to have eating desorder, bulimia and other stuff... and do diet, diet and more diet, to lose weight and put more weight after the diet. I finally became obese (123kg) and dispite therapy and diet, I couldn't lose weight anymore. I've begun to work on myself, the way I saw things and it's a hard work. It's been only 2 ou 3 years that I find myself pretty again and don't pay attention to what people think. Last december, I felt ready to have a surgery and I had a gastric band, to finally lose weight. Not for people around me, but for myself, to be able to do sport again, and sing on stage again...
    Your message is very important. Please, people, don't be mean and tell things like that to others, it's really dangerous (2 years of therapy speaking...)
    As for you Anette, your gorgeous !!
    ps: sorry for my bad english, it's been a hard day, I can't think properly anymore...

    ReplyDelete
  67. Hello!Hey, Anette you aren't fat!You're a normal woman!You know men only say that they like thin women,but in the heart they like normal women with breast and booty.
    When I was a child I was very thin,cause I ate like a bird. When I became 12 I was getting fatter, but at 17 I was like skeleton(because of my final exams at school,and entering exams to the university.)At University I wasn't fat.Three years agoI started I became little bit fatter, but it doesn't mind. You see my weight is jumping. And if smo says Im fat I say him\her "JUST SHOOT YOURSELF!!!!" Now Im practising pilates,and I feel myself much better!
    Lots of love!You're a nice and sweet person.I'd like to meet with you personally!

    ReplyDelete
  68. Hie Anette!
    It's so kind of you that you told us your story! :)

    I must say, I like my body.. except my hips. Although my mom tells me all the time I look good, I think they're too fat.
    When I was a kid, I was fat and other children laughed at me.. Also my grandmother always was telling me that I am fat and I should exercise or do something. I was just a kid and let's say I didn't care how I look like that much, but those words were hurting me.. Then I just grown and lost some weigh. Nowadays even if I eat candies I don't put on weigh. Today my mom asked how can I eat that much and laughed that I have a tapeworm haha ;) But there are also some days whan I'm not hungry and I don't eat anything e.g. til 3pm. Like I said, I like my body and I need some exercising or jogging for my legs to like my hips also ;)

    Tomorrow it's Fat Thursday! Do you celebrate it in Sweden? I'm gonna eat maaany donuts :D

    Thanks again you shared your story with us!
    Have a nice evening and sleep well

    Hugs to you and boys
    Ala

    ReplyDelete
  69. Hi Anette,
    it's an interesting and important topic to talk about. So many people have problems with themselves nowadays, and it's really bad.
    I have been thin in all my life (i'm 24 now), and had not so big problems with it. Sometimes i felt, that it would be better, when i was a bit more curvy. But i know, i will be fatty when i will get old. (I'm like my grandma, and she was also thin when she was young, and had become fat when she was old.) The only big problem with my body is the constant annoyance of others: "you are very thin" or " you have lost weight again" - hmm... after christmas huh? Surely... Especially my old roommate annoys me. In every month she realizes, that i'm sooooo thin. (She's a bit chubby, and i think that's why also jealous...) But what to do... I can change neiter my body, nor my friends' bad habits :)
    So i think, i can be satisfied. And mostly i am. :)

    ReplyDelete
  70. Hello Anette,

    Thanks for this post. I see that it reminds lots of memories to everyone, and not too good for many of them :'(...but cheer up everyone, because what makes you different doesn't make you any worse ;)Anette, all I can say is I'd be quite happy if at 40 I'd look as you do!

    Well, as for me, it's still a bit of touchy question...I accept myself better than before, in fact, all the matter of body changes is not too much of my concern, but let's be honnest, I'd really feel better off if I had smaller breasts and if I lost a few pounds XD (not because I think I'm uglier because I'm chubby, it's just out of concern for my health). Besides, I'm lucky to look 4-5 years youger than I actually am (that's what people usually tell me, at least) and that's a good thing, because I take care of my skin very thoroughly :D

    But every now and then I can't help but compare myself to other girls, and if I get a little bit depressed by this, well it never last. I know that I have some assets on my own, I prefer put them into light than complaining about what I don't have.

    I'm 31 and even if I don't have a bad opinion of my appearance and generally don't give a shit about what people think of me, it took me time to build that shell. I'm not someone with a big self confidence, and even if in my life I didn't had that much bad words towards my looks, they hurted nevertheless. Whether boys were having fun of my chest or clothes or when my mom used to tell me that I'm prettier only with make-up. Anyway, perfection is not of this world, so who are they to judge us so easily? That's only unfair...

    ReplyDelete
  71. Well, as I understood,You were in a specific kind of situation where, unfortunately, the pressure was high about the certain imidge and outside look. Now the imidge is also very important, but the inner beauty and the humanity behind it is even more, so I'm really glad you find your place where you feel you belong.
    As a girl,of 26, I daily fight with insecurity, not only about my weigh, or how's my clothing style looking to the others, will they think less of me if I don't loose those extra kilograms or if I never wear a dress or whatever.
    For me, far worse is the insecurity of not being good enough or being loved by everyone. I'm aware that sounds stupid,nobody is loved by everyone, and important thing is that you are loved by those who matter to you. I guess that's something you learn in life- getting to know your self for who you are and and to accept it, 'cause everyone is one of a kind.
    I think it's really brave and wonderful how open you are, 'cause I don't think that people when looking at you see that your life hasn't always been perfect and it's something everyone can relate to.
    Cheers ,beautiful :)

    ReplyDelete
  72. Hi Anette! :)

    I want to say first that I think you are at the perfect weight. You're not overweight, and not a 'size 0' either. If you are to thin or too fat, then you'll be bullied by your peers, or you'll feel inadequate. Because you were hanging out with lots of thin girls in ballet, and you were a bit bigger than the rest of them, you felt like the odd one out, like you needed to be thinner, and also, people picked at you because you were a different weight. You are perfect the way you are, and you are a very beautiful woman. :)

    As for me, I'm only 16, and haven't experienced bullying due to my weight or anything like that, but a year or two ago, I felt inadequate in myself. I was in no way the biggest in my year at school, but at this time, there was someone who was being mean about my weight, saying things like "For someone who doesn't eat much in school how come you're so fat?" which really hit my self confidence. My mum wasn't much help either, she was constantly going on at me, telling me "I needed to get fitter", and I took this as her way of telling me I needed to lose weight. My mum is rather thin, because her mother is obese, and she is so afraid that she might end up like her, and I guess she's afraid I could have as well. My mum is really the only "thin" one in the family. I was about 75kg at this time, and I was around 5'7, so I was around the average weight for my height. But this guy who was taunting me, and my mum wanting me to exercise led to me to taking a crash diet, I practically stopped eating for a month, and within about 6 months, my weight had plummeted to around 50kg. Not ridiculously thin, around the bottom area of the average weight for my height.

    Now, when I think back and realised how obsessed I was with losing weight (especially now that I have friends who say that I really didn't need to lose any weight) and becoming thinner, I get a bit scared that if I didn't start eating more again, that I could have gotten too thin, dangerously thin. At this stage I'm around 60kg and 5'9, and I am very happy with myself now. :)

    For everyone, if you are happy with yourself, then there is no need to change, don't let other people get you down! :)
    I'm very glad that you're happy with yourself now Anette, don't forget that we all here think you're beautiful! :)
    Lots of love and hugs,
    Charlie

    ReplyDelete
  73. to be perfect, do not bring yourself to anorexia.tastes differ...I'm talking about different shapes.

    I went through this situation.After that I ruined my health.
    Did not eat. Involved in sports lasting hours. Was afraid of looking in the mirror.
    One day I looked in the mirror and was horrified by the fact, that I got to anorexia(first steps,not so extremely thin).It was-what I wanted in his foolish dreams and thoughts.

    It was just like a game with my body-and I won it. And when I reached that thinnest, nobody liked me with that body.
    It was awful.


    Perhaps such actions can be called -nonsense. But this could be viewed only as a game.Enjoyable when you feel that you win .. But deep in your 'soul' you know that you are strong human,so...

    Don't worry,Dear Anette!
    You're great!

    You're insanely beautiful woman!
    You have a great voice!
    You have a beautiful smile!
    Everything in yourself- excellent.And it's true.

    Love you!


    For the first time in my life I was scared herself.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Hello Anette :)
    Thank you for sharing your story with us.
    I have always disliked my body, always compared myself to others especially in high school - I hated that all my friends had lovely figures and thought I was this ugly thing. It's funny for me to look back on that now, I WISH I still had that figure haha. Since having a child, and enjoying my food a lot, and perhaps not being as active as I should, I'm certainly a great deal larger than I was when I was 17!
    I don't think I'll ever look good, no matter if I lose weight or get fitter, it's something in my head that needs to fixed, to be able to accept my appearence however it is.
    Well anyway, that is my bit to add. :)
    Kath x

    ReplyDelete
  75. I'm 16 years old and I have lots of issues about myself. All of my friends are skinny and I think I'm fat and I look awful (I weigh 12 stone). I never thought I was very pretty and sometimes even my friends have said that I didn't look very good. The only thing I have that is better than anybody I know is my voice, but because of my body issues I am even shy on stage. I have tried everything but nothing seems to work, I am trying to learn to be more positive about myself and I'm sick and tired of people saying things about me. This is why I look up to you Anette, you accept who you are and you are one of my role models, and I am very proud to say that :)
    Lots of love
    Megan
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  76. I'm still a little floored that a teacher, of all people would say things like that to you. That is terrible. I've seen classmates pick on people for lesser obvious reasons then weight, and it breaks your heart either way. Some people just don't know how to be anything but a bully. Sometimes, even knowing that, like you said : damage is done. I've had my fair share of being treated badly, and even when I would tell myself: they just have worse problems then you, and don't take offense. It still hurts.

    In my case, the people that make me feel the worst is my family. The people who should have been there to support you. It's worse when you know it isn't even a case of tough love, but ignorance. It has really instilled trust issues in me and a lot of self loathing. I've never been comfortable with my looks, or my weight. I'm not a thin girl, but I'm not obese. I'm right in the middle where everything just slightly fits or is way too big. big hips and breasts run in our family, making it even more frustrating to find clothing that fits AND looks nice. Either way, very difficult to be ok with yourself in a world that seems to only want thinner people. I all ready know that with my body type, I'll probably never even be able to be under a size 10, (but if size 10 wants to meet me half way at this rate I'll be happy to accept that. haha )

    I think that a lot of people also have the miss conception that a lot of thin people are born thin, and stay thin without working out. It is refreshing to read your blog, and see that you actually work to keep yourself strong. You sharing your work out routines is very inspirational. (you almost have me going out to buy some kettle bells!)

    I think that sort of motivation is something a lot of us lack, and are not used to having it in our daily lives. You have a lot of people that look up to you, that can't be easy, but for what it is worth, thank you. :)

    ReplyDelete
  77. I prefer curvy girls to skinny girls any day. I speak for a lot of men when I say that women who have broader hips are more attractive than women who have narrow hips.

    I was a chubby kid, didn't really get teased (much) for it though, but I wasn't happy when I looked at myself in the mirror so I just started eating healthy food and started exercising more. My dad's a jealous bastard because he constantly tries to lose weight by dieting and got pissed off by my progress that he started forcing me to eat stuff like biscuits and doughnuts all the time.

    I hate envious people who try to sabotage my plans for a healthy lifestyle. I have a 'friend' who gets pissed off that I work out a lot and he tries to stop me from working out by telling me that my muscles are all going to turn to fat when I get older. Seriously...envious people annoy me so much.

    I, like most men I presume, want to be more muscular. My muscle mass is good for my height, but I'm 5ft 4 inches! Yes that's short for a guy, so I want to gain a lot of muscle in order to compete with an average man who's about 6ft.

    Message to everyone - Exercising should be something that you genuinely want to do. It shouldn't be a chore. You should be doing it because you want to gain the benefits and have fun in the process.

    Driele, your story is so touching. I hope that your tumour can be removed some day.

    Side note - I went for a run today for the first time in about 2 weeks today after I remembered Anette's motivational message xD

    Am I the only male who has posted a message here?

    ReplyDelete
  78. Dear Anette,

    I had a bad impression about my body, too, because at my school, I had a very thin classmate and I've never been so thin like her.
    Everybody was saying that she's very beautiful and she has a perfect body and I've always felt horrible. I was depressed too, because I was convinced that I'm ugly and fat, even if my best friend was trying to convince me the opposite. That was a very hard period and I still have many moments when I start to think bad things about me or about my body. In all that period I was listening almost daily to Nightwish - Beauty and the Beast, and I was saying that Tuomas is really brilliant for these words: "Howerver cruel the mirrors of sin,/Remember, beauty is found within."
    So, I started to realise that God has created me like this and He knows better than me if this is a good body or not.
    Also, the people who really appreaciate and love me, will love me even if I'm thin or fat, because they love me for my soul, not for my body. And if someone loves me just for my body, that's not a true love.
    I try every day to accept me exactly how I am and since I've become happier and more optimist, I had better days and everyone seems to feel the happiness inside me.
    Of course that I try too, not say bad things about other persons and I truly believe that if we judge someone for his body, we can destroy that person and we'll never appreciate that person for his soul.

    Thank you for your article, it's really true!

    With respect,
    Simona.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Hej Anette :)
    Du skrev detta inlägg så bra, att jag inte kan låta bli att svara på frågan.
    Jag fyller 15 i år och har alltid varit lite större än alla andra. Alltså min kroppsbyggnad är ganska kraftig, så redan i dagis var jag större än alla andra, fastän jag egentligen då ännu var ganska smal.
    På lågstadiet växte jag mycket snabbare än alla andra och började dessutom få lite extra kilon på mej, speciellt efter att jag slutade med konståkning. Dessutom har jag oxå alltid haft ganska mycket muskler för att jag hållit på med mycket idrottsgrenar, så jag har alltid känt mej ganska stor och klumpig.
    På lågstadiets sista klasser började jag oxå utväcklas och kom till puberteten, medan alla andra var små 140cm pinnar :p
    Då blev jag lite mobbad, oxå på grund av att min stil började ändras till den jag har idag - alltså typ nån ja.. liksom "rockare" typ :D
    Då fick jag höra alla möjliga elaka kommentarer om mitt utsende, och så började jag tro på det. Efter det har jag varit en jätteperfektionist och tyckt att jag inte räcker till, och att jag är ful. Hemskt hur mycket människors kommentarer egentligen tar på en ;ss brh..
    Jadå, idag går jag redan på åttan (wiho, gammal jag blivit xD), och fastän man ännu oxå har jättemycket press på utsendet, så har ja bara försökt leva med mej själv. Försöker se mej själv varje dag i spegeln och säga att jag är vacker. Alla ska inte behöva vara pinnar och jättesmala, de e snyggt med lite former oxå (:
    Och jag har lärt mej att alla är vackra på sitt sätt, och de människor som är vackra innifrån är de vackraste av alla. Jag vet en del jättefalska människor, som har en "perfekt" utsende på utsidan, men på grund av att de är så falska, så ser de inte heller så jättevackra ut på utsidan, om du förstår vad jag menar :p
    Men ja, det var min story. Men ja, du är vacker Anette! (: på in- och utsidan.
    - Sanna

    ReplyDelete
  80. Hey, dear Anette!
    I feel like I'm a bit late to comment this post, but I needed to do it. It's an important topic for me.
    I've been fat since I have memory, it made me feel different in so much ways. When a was a child I was dealing with it ina better way, I was more extrovert and actually became in a belly dancer. But in the end, I just kept looking at me in the mirror wondering why I couldn't change, why I coudn't be like the other persons around me. I didn't had the will to change it and, sadly, I don't have it now neither. I just expected to woke up one day and all those imperfections were gone.
    I've supported all kinds of jokes, of course, but I just faced it and that's what helped me to be more stronger every day; it helped me to understand that there are other priorities in life, much more impportants. I try to don't look at me in the mirrors, and that's hard because there're many in my house, just the necessary time to fix my hair, once in a while, most of the time I just brush my hair and do a ponytail without looking at me.
    I've suffered of acne and it left me horrible consecuences, so I can't show my shoulders without feeling like a monster. I have strabismus too, it means that one of my eyes deviates although it was corrected with the years.
    I can calmly choose something from this list to feel bad, but here I am.
    I know there are so many girls that are extremely beautiful and they don't see it; they don't know what other girls will give to have the half of their beauty. Please, don't be one of them because you are on those beauties.
    I feel a little bit stupid after writting this, but if you read this, I really want to thank you for doing it.
    The best wishes for you and your family♥

    ReplyDelete
  81. Dear Anette - you're very very beautiful and your body looks great! And you are a very strong person and this post inspired me to write a bit about myself.
    First of all, I think a girl, a woman must never be critised about how she looks like, because that can really hurt and affect her in a bad way. Pity many people don't understand that. I like my body (I'm really lucky with it!), but for others my face was the problem. Well, it could be okay for me in the mirror (very often, with the right make-up - almost always!), but when I was a teenager I was told that my face was ugly. And my nose is awful (well I don't like my nose much - especially on photos, it's really a hell of a nose there XDDD) It was boys who told me stuff like that. And they criticised my clothes. I like jeans and blouses, don't like skirts much or other things, which are considered girlish. And because of that I was at discos only a few times (no success from boys, total fail). It can hurt, it really can. I believe that every girl want to be thought of as beautiful, to be admired. No boy has ever told that I am beautiful. Of gave me flowers. Or presenting even a simple jewellery (not even the cheapest ones!) Not even my now ex-bf. And I always felt miserable on Valentine's day - not a card I got, even if I looked really good that day. I'm still on the way to dealing with that stuff, but one thing is certain. I like my body and I can live with my face, my clothing style and I don't care what boys might say. They don't realize what a girl they're missing XDDD but I have things to do in my life that make me really happy and that's definitely something to begin with. And I'm only 20 - life is just beginning!

    ReplyDelete
  82. Hi Anette,

    I would have to be honest with you, having a curvy body is good period. Of course when your latina, it's natural for us. The clothing fits nicer and you look much more fuller in a dress where as being just straight down slender or skinny changes your appearance. Since I was born that way, I really never had peer pressure growing up with having curves but I have seen girls laughed at for being too skinny or flat chested. So I guess we all have different attributes growing up with how we feel about our bodies. To me the most important thing is the beauty within a person more than what they look like. Bright blessings to you and the family....

    Hugs Zulma;-)

    ReplyDelete
  83. Hi Anette.

    The story is really amazing Driele. I know some people who suffered the same problem but managed to overcome.
    The problem is the psychological state of a person because of discrimination. How is the esteem? What is confidence? The conventional psychology considers the self-esteem as someone makes the evaluation of its own atributes and characteristics, from the observation that makes of himself and the opinion of people. You assess yourself for who you are and feel, or what people say and think of you? Love yourself to yourself, give value for what you are.

    "Do not compare your life to others. You have no idea what this is about their journey. " Regina Brett.
    "The best way to improve the standard of living, is on improving the standard of thought. " U. S. Anderson

    Antonio Carlos

    ReplyDelete
  84. Ha, reminds me of some one else I know .......

    lots of love
    Gary

    ReplyDelete
  85. I know how you feel in that a few comments can have a huge effect on a person, but if it leads to things that effect your health then you need to take action, which you did by dropping out :)
    I understand that in that situation people would tend to praise the thinner people, but as a person who probably fits into the 'thin with no curves' category, I can tell you that it's not any better than any other body type. I can eat loads and not put on much weight, but because of this I forget that I still need to eat healthily and as a result I get massive crashing sugar lows, I forget about the consequences because I don't really put on weight. Also you can feel a little insecure when people say that using size eight (UK sizing) models isn't 'real' - of course they should use a variety of shape and sizes, but I'm size six to eight and I'm just as real as everybody else! The only problem is that magazines ONLY use people that thin, which is ridiculous. I'm also only about five feet tall, and it's really hard getting into films and such where there's an age restriction because people look at your height rather than your face. I turn eighteen this July and unless I have ID on me it'll be a nightmare buying alchohol and stuff. But I'm perfectly happy with the way I am because you can get around all these problems, but being thin isn't any better than any other body type :)

    Best wishes!
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  86. Anette,

    It's weird to think you cared what other people said. You always seemed "F.ck others" woman to me :) When you were announced as the new Nightwish singer, I showed your photo to my mom who knew everything about the band(because of me!). She said:"I don't know about her voice but God she's gorgeous! They need to keep that girl forever." :DD

    Wondering how we look is one of the biggest troubles of most women. Because we are said when we were child, "women must be thin, elegant, nice etc." We considered it true and lived our lives like that. Being fat is not bad because of "how it looks", it's bad for the health. If you want to give weight, do it for your health, for yourself; not for being other people's eye candy! And don't forget everyone is unique in their own way. Being strong and feeling good are more important than enything else. You should try to find the real you. Btw, I'm not saying "you", talking about in general.

    It's kinda Black Swan, isn't it? Can be really dangerous.

    Hugs & Kisses,
    İlknur

    ReplyDelete
  87. HI, Anette,

    This is so interesting. I think you're very beautiful!!!!
    When I look in the mirror, the thing is is that I try and convince myself I look good. I struggle a lot with my body, I have curves and bigger chest size, but I am very short. I am not fat I know, but sometimes I feel fat.
    Someone in MY life I talk to about how I feel, she has said things to me in the past that have been with me forever. I feel I shouldn't talk to her, but I always go back to her.

    I want to be skinny, skinnier. I am 4'10, and I have curves, like you. I just want to be skinnier. Some people actually call me skinny, but I know I am not.

    Lately, I have been trying to lose more weight. I think it is working, I am getting a better scale, a digital one; I hear those ones are better and more accurate. I just want to weigh less, and feel more confident in my body. I sometimes think I should stop, but I don't always want to. I have been eating a lot less, mostly fruits. I just want to lose a bunch and then maintain. I'm not overweight, and some people I have told around me (friends) think I don't need to lose any weight, for I look good the way I am. Like I said, some say I am already skinny. But it's not true, it's because I am very short and perhaps not "fat" that they assume "skinny".

    I am trying to appreciate myself for who I am, accepting my body curves. I actually look up to you, Anette, because you have accepted who you are, and you are not a skinny skinny girl, but still maintain an amazing body, and are happy with the type. I wish I could be like that. I just want to feel pretty. And I feel like I feel best when I weigh less.

    hugs <3 <3 <3

    -Alena

    ReplyDelete
  88. Well, I’ve been reading over the comments here, and I must say these are some very deep and touching stories, and I believe you are all very strong to be able to share all of this in such an open way. The condition and shape of our bodies is such an interesting subject, and I am sure, very sensitive and hurtful to many, but the thing about it is, it is all opinion, and to me, as long as you are healthy, the first person you should worry about being good looking to is yourself. For truth be told, being overweight is no worse than being anorexic, and vise versa. I myself have always felt quite blessed to be a very slim, petite built, and yet still have shape and substance where I’ve wanted it. And Anette, I noticed that you said you saw yourself as being ‘bigger’ when you were in those dance classes, because although you do have, as you said, larger breasts and curves, you’ve always looked very slim and petite elsewhere to me, so I don’t believe you have a ‘stocky’ build in the slightest. Simply a more feminine build, which I believe is beautiful and the most suiting :).

    Anyway, as I have stated before, there were some times in the past, like anyone else, where they have been a few things about myself I didn’t care for, but I always recognized this as premature judgment, given that I began to care about and monitor my looks from the age of 11. Now, without any vanity, I consider myself to be a beautiful woman, and I love my body and my face. And truth be told, I credit so very much of this to my diet. Once again, as I’ve stated before, I’ve never been concerned with my weight, and I’ve never watched the amounts that I eat. I’ve always been quite slim without effort, and I attribute this to eating organic food and to eating a balance of vegetables, fruits, meats, grains, etc. Obviously this won’t work for everyone, but I do assure you, it will help and be so much healthier for you.

    And everyone, the inside is where it really counts, and if someone is really worth your time, they will be able to love you for the inside you, because they will be able to see your beauty shining through from there :). Don’t let the jealous people around you pull you, disconnect yourself from their negative energy the best you can and try to view all of this from a productive and positive outlook. Try to see these obstacles as opportunities to learn and to strengthen your character, and raise yourself above the people attempting to pull you down by not dropping to any of their standards and simply continuing to strive for yourself :). For although some people may become jealous, you may be surprised just how many people you have the ability to inspire if you keep trying.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Hi Anette! I will keep this short because I know you've had a lot of comments for this post but when I was earlier in high school I became bulimic because none of the boys at school wanted to date me and I thought it was because I was fat. But I have a very weak gag reflex so to be bulimic I had to drink hydrogen peroxide almost daily, and now have scarring in my esophagus and ulcers in my stomach and duodenum. It's scary what girls will do to themselves to be thin, and I still struggle to this day with weight but I stick to regular diet and exercise. I think you are gorgeous and have nothing to worry about like us Americans who only have access to fatty nasty food!

    ReplyDelete
  90. Anette,
    Your blog made me cry. It was so beautiful and heartfelt. I have to tell you, that you are an amazing role model to young women and girls for being just the beautiful person that you are. I have a ten year old neice and she is starting to get her more female shape, developing and filling out and she has had many of the smaller girls in her class tell her she is fat and heavy. She looks up to you so much and thinks you are so beautiful. Her mother and I grew up in a home where our mother was heavy and often tried the fad diets and crash diets, and it made us both self conscious so we try to teach little Faith that she is beautiful the way she was made. I am emailing a link to your blog to her mum so that she can let Faith read it, and I hope she finds it as inspiring as I did. Thank you for all the wonderful things you offer to your fans, through your beautiful voice, and your wonderful blog.

    Much love,
    Brandi, Texas, USA

    ReplyDelete
  91. Your story touched me deeply Anette.
    This subject has always been very emotional for me. I have been overweight since I hit puberty, and now at the age of 27 I have become quite overweight. Throughout my teen-years people didn't hold back on their comments, and in the small town I am from I was always known as "Fat-Susan". As I got older the name-calling got worse and by the age of 20 or so, my selfesteem had dropped to below 0. I absolutely hated myself, not my body- but me. I thought my body WAS who I was. My only weapon against people was to be quick and funny- and I soon developed a sense of humour about myself. I was now the "Fat and Funny"-girl. Better than just being "The Fat Girl" I guess. My jokes about myself made other peoples comment hurt less. But when I was by myself I cried, and started hating myself and the way it looked. It has always been very difficult for me to lose weight, and when I lost weight I gained it all again.
    A month ago I started at University, and the day before I started I was a nervous wreck. All I could think about was "Oh no- now I will be the fat girl all over again"... but I was wrong. The class I am in is the sweetest bunch of people ýou will ever meet, and I haven't thought about my weight at all since I started. Funny thing is that I weighed myself before writing this, and just found out that I have lost weight in the last month :) Still a long way for me to go, but I think I will actually do it this time!
    I have never felt beautiful, but always been told that I have nice eyes and a great smile. Some day I hope to look "normal". I do know that I will always be a chubby girl, but that is ok- I just don't want to be THIS big anymore.
    So, I know what you're talking about Anette, comments about the way we look and how other people see us, can haunt us for years. I really wish people would think about that before they call other people mean things. Sorry if this is a little confusing to read, but it is late, and I must admit that while writing this I have tears in my eyes. So many horrible memories... But also, tears of joy because I, at the age of 27, for the first time feel that people don't see my body, but they see me.

    By the way- on friday I am going to a costume party with the theme "rockstars" and I thought about going as you, but immediately after I got the idea I thought "what the hell was I thinking, I am 3 times bigger than her- I can't go as her"... but you know what- I can! Today i found a dress that is a little Anette Olzon-Nightwish-rock-chic!, I will wear it and feel good.

    Anette, you look absolutely beautiful. I really do mean that!

    ReplyDelete
  92. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I'm glad you learned to love yourself, you are a beautiful and kind person and you don't deserve anything less :)

    Personally, I don't like my body very much. There are times when I outright hate it. I'm not pretty or beautiful or sexy... I might be cute, but that's about it.
    There's too much meat on my hips and belly, I have acne, wear glasses, have weird teeth and some other quirks.
    I have a younger sister, we're complete opposites. She's thin, doesn't need glasses and the boys are lining up to be with her. At school I often had people asking me 'Why is she so pretty and you're not?'

    I often got/get told I should watch my weight. Usually by my relatives. I'm very small, only 150cm, so every extra-kilo shows easily. A few years ago I spent two weeks with my father (he's living a few hours away) and he put me down every single day. He told me I was fat and ugly and it was no wonder I didn't have a boyfriend. I heard that every single day for two weeks. And this is where I can relate to what you said about words haunting you...
    The following weeks and months I was really ill. I didn't eat anything for a week and then lived off a breadroll or two per week. It wasn't that I didn't WANT to eat, I just couldn't. Every single bite made me feel incredibly sick. At some point I was down to 39kg, luckily that's when something snapped and I was finally, slowly able to eat again.
    That was six years ago, I was 17. Nowadays I'm able to eat halfway normally, but I still get really sick from time to time and don't eat for days. It usually happens after my aunt or someone else told me I was 'getting fat again'. Or when I once again realize there is no way I can compare to my very pretty friends. Although I know they love me the way I am.

    Sometimes there are days where I look in the mirror and think 'Hey, you're actually not all that bad!' I try to savour those days.
    I want to love myself, I want to feel pretty... I just don't know how.

    Keep on ispiring us, please? <3
    - Ilka

    ReplyDelete
  93. Hi Anette.

    You have no idea how much your story relates to mine. I have always been thin, but when I was about 13, for some reason I thought I needed to lose weight, and developed an eating disorder. Part of what triggered that was the comments from others (even my family) about how I was eating really unhealthily sometimes and I felt like that meant that I needed to make changes...I was depressed, always comparing myself to others, and longing to be thinner. In the end, I lost 20 pounds and literally looked like a skeleton. I regret all of that and it has really impacted my life... Right now I am 15, and the eating disorder issues have come back into my life... I'm trying to fight through it but it is very difficult. . I have lost about 15 pounds recently, and I feel like this battle with the thoughts in my head are never going to end. No one knows what it's like, and no one knows about this issue except my parents...
    After having read this post, I know now that I can relate to you even more. I know how you felt, and it's never something that I should have even worried about. I wish I could have just stayed strong and not allowed this to literally take over my life. I feel comfortable sharing about this on here because like I said, I can totally relate to you, and I'm sure you understand how I feel.
    You're truly an amazing person, Anette. You are my inspiration, the things you said at the end of this post really spoke to me. I'll try to remember the things you said and just try to fight through this. Thanks for being such a great person. I'm proud to call you my idol. :)

    Best wishes,

    Lauren

    ReplyDelete
  94. Dear Anette,

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. People often tend to say that words do not hurt, but they do. They can make us feel good, but they can also upset us. You are a beautiful woman, Anette. Looking like you is what many women can only dream of. Curves are good. Women are supposted to have hips, to have the so-called 'coke bottle figure'. In your case, your visibly bright and positive attitude makes up for all the imperfections related to your figure that you may think are there.

    I do feel connected to your story. I, too often, annoy myself with thoughts such as 'you are too fat', and compare myself to other women all the time. Whenever I look at the internet, on TV, in magazines, on my own university, etc. I am confronted with women who look the way I would like to look myself. They are thin, have beautiful hair and eyes, a smooth skin, etc. I cannot bare to stand in front of a mirror and say three positive things about myself. It hurts me more than naming three things that are not so pretty. Besides liking dark and heavy make-up, I also use so much to make people notice my dark eyes/lipstick first before anything else. It is like a make-up mask that I hide behind. I tried losing weight too and for a while it worked, but after it began affecting my prestations at school, I had to adjust my priorities and comfort myself with 'I will lose weight after finishing my school'. Up until today, I have a similar comforting thought. However, I do not mind eating. Food is not the problem, I even like food in all kinds, but the feeling of regret that comes afterwards and the thoughts it brings along is really a disturbing factor. It easily pulls me down, which costs me a lot of energy in fighting against it to climb back up.

    It is probably caused by my not so nice time during my secondary education. I hit puberty back then, felt insecure, got pimples all over my face (which I still have and I passed puberty!), became more aware of my own body and the kids in my class did not really like me. They never really bullied me, but they always made me feel less worthy than them. They ignored me, put chewing gum in my hair, called me names, etc. It made me think 'if I lose some weight, they will appreciate me more,' and stuff like that, but in the end, they did not and I am now still haunted by the thoughts and feelings I had back then. In a way it even isolates me from the social environment.

    But in the end, regardless of how I look, I am very thankful to have a healthy body! Outer beauty is something people can buy, but inner beauty, as well as good health, is something that is not for sale on the market.

    Have a good night and sleep well!

    Yours,
    Lisa

    ReplyDelete
  95. Hi Anette,
    It's been a while since I commented on your blog...busy days and bad cold...BUT I am feeling better and your post is so touching - Thank you...
    Being a kid was tough for me...I kind of got picked on for my body but more for my clothes, which can be just as bad. My parents didn't have a lot of money so we had second hand clothes, etc. I always felt that I never fit in. Not until after I was out of high school. I guess it explains the high credit card bills during college - I couldn't buy enough clothes...Now it's easier - after I turned 40 it didn't seem to matter. I still love clothes but I seem to care less about what others think..I still wonder but I tell myself that I am comfortable and that's all the matters. It's so true that things you say to others makes an impact on them. I still remember a lot of things that some girls said to me...
    I've accepted who I am...there are things I want to change. I should workout but I always find an excuse.
    I was surprised to read how you feel about yourself. You are so beautiful inside and out...and you look amazing for someone who just had a little one...
    Thank you for such a touching post and caring...
    Hope you have a great night and Thursday!!

    Take care,
    Christine

    ReplyDelete
  96. Hello Anette!!
    , but I still lived with my dad and didn't see my mOm yet, his new wife was at first kind and really sweet she has daughter of an other relationship so was ok for me she was like a little sister to me but then my father got a new and better job and he had to do more hours in it so he spent more time away and let me most of the day alone with my stepmother and that's the moment when everything starts to put really ugly, Have you ever seen Cinderella? Well I felt like that I was only 8 and I became the maid of my own house she used to hit me if I ate, if a didn't clean well she said ugly things to me, like how ugly I was, that I will never be nothing that my olive skin is awful that I don't have any grase etc that made me feel sad and that I wanted to die cause everything I tried to did to Please her was wrong and I didn't worth it...
    The my mom finally found me cause she was looking for me and she even hire a privet detective she was desperate to find me!!!
    When I saw her again it was difficult for me to stayed near of her because
    of what my father has told me before about her and couldnt trust her and become a lonely girl didn't have friends and all I did was to write poems about how I felt
    Whe my mom realise what happen to me she was so angry!! I have never seen my mom so bad, and I inmediate felt guilty for that I was 10 when she found me two years of pure hell!!
    Whe I turned 17 I start to remember again 'cause when I return with my mom I become so happy that I forgot everything bad!! I didn't have any memories of what happen to me, and my mom didn't want to push me to try to remember she just wanted me to be happy!!!
    When I remember parts I felt so bad and everytime I remember the pain I start to cut me in my arms and legs to " punish me for being so ugly" it was hard times I feel now that I have "punish" not just me but my mom too!!!
    I feel so bad for that!!

    Sorry but this thing don't let m put all my story in one post so I will try in other one

    Claudia =)

    ReplyDelete
  97. Hello Anette!!
    well my story starts whe my parents get divorced and I was 5, i was suposed to go anda live with my mother and only visite my father on weekends but he took me away from my mom and later they got married again and made a new families I felt like in the middle and tahta i dont belong to anyone, but I still lived with my dad and didn't see my mOm yet, his new wife was at first kind and really sweet she has daughter of an other relationship so was ok for me she was like a little sister to me but then my father got a new and better job and he had to do more hours in it so he spent more time away and let me most of the day alone with my stepmother and that's the moment when everything starts to put really ugly, Have you ever seen Cinderella? Well I felt like that I was only 8 and I became the maid of my own house she used to hit me if I ate, if a didn't clean well she said ugly things to me, like how ugly I was, that I will never be nothing that my olive skin is awful that I don't have any grase etc that made me feel sad and that I wanted to die cause everything I tried to did to Please her was wrong and I didn't worth it...Then my mom finally found me cause she was looking for me and she even hire a privet detective she was desperate to find me!!!When I saw her again it was difficult for me to stayed near of her because of what my father has told me before about her and couldnt trust her and become a lonely girl didn't have friends and all I did was to write poems about how I felt
    I turned 17 and start to remember again 'cause when I return with my mom I become so happy that I forgot everything bad!! I didn't have any memories of what happen to me, and my mom didn't want to push me to try to remember she just wanted me to be happy!!!When I remember parts I felt so bad and everytime I remember the pain I start to cut me in my arms and legs to " punish me for being so ugly" it was hard times I feel now that I have "punish" not just me but my mom too!!!I feel so bad for that!!I started at that age with symptoms of anorexia,everytime I saw me in a mirror I felt so ugly that even in my room I put a sheet to cover my own mirror so I cannot see " my ugly face" My mom was so desperate that she send me to a psychiatrist and then I start to feel better it really helps a lot now a few years later ...

    Sorry post has become so long so if is alright to you I will put a second with the continue...

    Claudia ♥

    ReplyDelete
  98. 2nd part of my long post (again I apologise)

    I'm a " normal" person again I still have that voices in my head but is easy to put them down and tell them get out. I'm happy now I love who I am and how I look!! Years after that I reflection about my stepmother acts and get the conclusion that she is a sick person and I have forgiven her,About my dad, I haven see him again it has pass 12 years and never heart a thing from him... I have forgiven him too I have understand of what he told me when I was leaving his house is that he mades all of that (took me way from my mom) just because he was jealous why?? Well my mom fall in love of this nice genttleman just a few months after they got divorced and he (my dad) was hurt yet.He didn't want her to be happy and he commited a terrible mistake when he took me away from her!He was selfish and never stop to think about me!When his wife hit me he knew it and never did nothing!He just sat there and saw it!I still feel so hurt about that I still cry at nights but I can tell you I'm getting better.The first time I hear Nightwish was with the song Nemo and I felt so Identifed with the song that I can say that this song in particular save my life cause everytime I though in die or kill myself I hear that song and that was my scape it was all the sad things I felt in the words of another person and felt released of bad feelings and ready to go through life again when the song finish.Now you have become a model to me, cause you are a very positive person and sweet and very down to earth, I want to be like you!I want to sing some day and be know too!Haha I will try for now I am in a gospel chorus of my local choir and I love it!I read a few days ago your interview in the Swedish magazine and I respect you even more now!You are such a strong girl!I cannot be more proud to say that you and all the guys from Nightwish are my idols in music!And that I cannot wait anymore for the new album!Haha You're beautiful girl, never change!
    Hoping to meet you in the future:

    Claudia ♥

    PS sorry for the long post and I huge apologise for my English I'm still working on it!

    ReplyDelete
  99. Hi Anette, this is an AMAZING post, thank you so much for sharing your story with us.

    To be completely honest to your question, I hate my body most of the time. I used to be really thin and carefree as a child but once I reached my early teens I became curvy. I always used to love dance and gynastics at school but by the time I was 13 I used to hate wearing shorts for sport. I refused to wear any tight fitting ones because it made me feel so self conscious of my hips which appeared to be larger than all of the skinny, 'beautiful' girls. This just got worse as I went through school, and I would do anything to get out of doing sport by the time I was 16 as I couldn't stand seeing myself and others seeing me in tight dance clothes as I felt so fat and horrible. I am now 18, I am not overweight but I do feel my size and shape is an issue and it has bugged me for the past five years as I feel as it doesn't 'conform' to what is classed as beautiful.

    I think a big part of the blame can be attributed to the pressures from society; most things today revolve around an unrealistic view of skinny and 'beautiful' women. I don't know what the media is like in Sweden, but here in the UK it is terrible for showing 'perfect' models. I sometimes look on the internet for clothes and find a lovely dress for example, and then I look at how tiny the model wearing it is and then think, 'I would look digusting in that, it would show my curves and make me look really fat.'

    I feel there is so much pressure on people, all you ever see in British magazines is 'celebrity bikini bodies', 'look how fast this celebrity lost weight after giving birth'. In these articles they praise the women who are super skinny with totally flat stomachs and no cellutite etc, and they slate the women who have just a tiny imperfection such as a little bit of shape on the stomach or a little bit of cellulite or because they hadn't lost all of their baby week since weeks after giving birth, which is ridiculous because the majority of people are like this!

    There are days where I do overcome this and when I get up with my hair everywhere, my tired eyes and in my PJs and I can catch myself in the mirror and think, 'I'm beatiful, I am a healthy young women and this is the way God has made me.' It is just so hard to think like this all the time with all of the pressures to look 'perfect'.

    On that note there is no such thing as 'perfect'. We are all unique and we are all beautiful people, no matter how tall or short we are, how large or skinny we are, whether we have blue eyes, green eyes or brown eyes, or whether we have dark or light skin.

    I feel so strongly about this!
    Jasmine

    ReplyDelete
  100. Wow I'm late to the party! Anywho, this is a great idea! I believe all the negative things imposed on us as women in society are terrible! I think fear is a big dictator in how people try to control us. We are afraid of not being just like what we are shown in magazines and movies and TV, etc. So we go out and BUY stuff to try and fix it. We buy memberships to expensive gyms, we buy make up, we even buy new boobs!!! I am thankful for you sharing your story Anette, I hope it gives others the courage to see that everyone struggles!! No one is perfect. Growing up I never had body issues. I was like you, a very active and fit kid. I was very athletic, and I was pretty proud of it. As a teenager I was very proud of my body. I knew I wasn't perfect, but I was happy with it anyway. I wasn't trying to please anyone! My insecurities have always been in other areas. I hate my teeth. I have an overbite and my mother has been hung up on "we've gotta get your teeth fixed" my entire life. Which I'm sure only made the complex worse. But anyway, that's another topic! :P As I got older I started gaining weight in other areas and became less active because of being busy with other things(work etc). (I'm 26 now) I'm very short but I have always had an athletic build. I have gained some weight in the hips and thighs and stomach, which causes me to occasionally have my days of "oh i can't wear that!!" As soon as I feel that way about something I know it's time to empty my head of the negative thoughts. Because half the battle is the confidence like you say! You might be over critical of yourself, but when others look at you and perceive you, they may see something totally different. So I try to remember this. I went and bought a full size mirror as I didn't have one where I live right now. I put it in my bedroom and I can see myself when I get up out of bed every day. And it actually has helped me with thinking positively! I look at myself and say, you don't look bad! Lots of people would love to have the body you have! And I smile! It's funny because I thought "oh no" when I put it there, "that's probably not a good idea.." and I was wrong!
    Thanks for listening and sharing Anette, I believe you truly care and that is rare!
    Love, Desi from Missouri, USA

    ReplyDelete
  101. hi Anette,

    The fight with my Body began at the time i as get Allergy asthma and with the necessary medicine.
    That was the moment i would fat and get problems with my school. It what so heavy so i must return the last class again.

    And so i had two problems 1. allergie asthma and 2. all childrens out my early class mobbing me. (Hell number 1)
    At this time i got two health cure far away from home to lose my weight. So real don´t help me :( (. Because at home i have eating normal again. My family has don´t understand the infomation magazine for me at Home.)
    In the first cure i was a outsider because i have sleep with my doll Elisabeth and hold for as antisocial and don´t forget as greedy, too. Then i hide some candy´s. With Stomach pain and Nausea I remember me back.

    The 2nd was don´t better too. And after this i weighed more as befor the cure.

    In my school time i has change 3. time the School and the three school was the best. Ok, true friend i have not found, but for that great Teacher, they help me to get a good Graduation. In spite of Spelling dyslexia, wíth that i would sunken at the another school.

    Thanks by the mobbing from the students, was food for me, my only Friend. I have someone today problems to talk strangers or go speak openly with another poeple at the first time of meet. Sometimes i was very aggressive, if i think the poeple around gossip about me.
    The old Gods of the old time to thanks. I´m not more so for 3. years.
    (that was hell 2.)

    The 3rd Hell was my time als Trainees to chef. That was the time where to go weight 125 kilo´s. At this time came 3 new Allergy, too. So i don´t ending the Education (2005). If i look back at this time, Chef was never my dream-job. The time was to hard for me, and then I began to hate more my reflection on Mirror.

    Several months later i begann a Trainees Alteration dressmaker. Exactly that was i like to learn so long time ago.
    Ok! There was a sport-teacher on the school ( i must go) she mean i sould take the Weight Loss Pills or make a gastric reduction. °~^
    But in this time i had Lovesickness, than in boys in which I was in love at one time had a girlfriend. Now this was important than to lose weight.

    Three year later I could say i have lose 40 kilo´s and weight only 85 kilo´s. With each kilo i lost, i feel me better. And what better is i have accepted I don´t need a husband to be happy in my Live.:P
    What i need for the rest of my Live is a good Job for a independent Life and new Pants, as well as chances my Mediaval clothes and Dressed

    Nalon

    ReplyDelete
  102. Your story made my cry. I am 21 years old and, unless I find the strength to change soon, I will probably be dead in no more than a couple of years from bulimia.

    I know probably better than anyone how peoples' judgments and comments can hurt, but if anyone reading this is considering starving themselves or making themselves throw up, then please fight it with all you have. It is not worth it.

    I have ended up too weak to hold down a job, I get dizzy every day and have chest pains regularly. I have lost touch with so many friends because I am too ill to go out and socialise with them and, even if I wasn't, I'd be paranoid about having to eat.

    ...And what have I got out of this? Nothing. I still hate the person staring back at me from the mirror. I still scrutinize my body for flaws and see fat everywhere - if anything, my self-hatred has only gotten worse. The sooner you get help, the easier it is to recover, so please don't hesitate.

    Anette: You are such a beautiful, strong woman. The courage it must have taken to overcome that is incredible and I wish I was more like you. I wish I'd never started this.

    Sorry if this got a little depressing, I just don't want anyone else to end up like I have.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Hey Anette,

    I was always kinda chubby, not overly fat, but I think sort of in the middle/above average area. I've always hated how my body looks.

    Recently though I've been telling myself that even if my body isn't perfect, its what I have, and the only way to improve it is by trying to eat a bit better and force myself to exercise.

    I have always really hated exercise, I was always terrible at it at school so when I didn't have to do it anymore, I basically cheered and stopped doing anything. 5 years on I've just started to go to the gym.

    I've said to myself, that even if my body stays the same, I want my heart and everything else to be healthy. I want to make sure I get to live my life to the fullest. So I think that while I get insecure about my body, I realise it could be a lot worse, and it could get a lot worse if I don't do something about it.

    I don't think I'll ever love my body, but I think that some day I will be able to accept it. I guess to be honest my body doesn't concern me quite as much as my face. Wish it could be more pretty etc. So I think that I need to work on accepting how I look overall, especially since I don't believe in cosmetic surgery. When I was a kid I got called ugly by a a few boys, so I think thats partially what makes me feel insecure about myself.

    Thanks for reading all that, if you got through it anyway!

    ReplyDelete
  104. I just arrived late to this topic =(.

    Well, i felt very identified with this title. I'm 21 years old. I'm always complaining about my body since i was 13 years old. The reason was because i was passing trough teenage and started to think about boys, first kiss and all that stuff, but i realized that most of the boys always look for body and not for your soul. So i got depressed a lot of times and also i thought about bad things that i could do because my sadness was too much.

    The most ridiculous thing was that 3 or 4 of my best friends at that time were too thin and when we used to go to the bathroom they looked themselves in the mirror and started to say:"Ohh i'm so fat!!, look at this waist!!!" and i was so uncomfortable about those comments, because i was the curvy chubby.

    So in secondary, at the break time i used to eat junk food in my classroom with other friends, i don't know the reason why i did that, but it made me feel good in some way =/.

    Well, i'm still chubby, i don't like my body, i do exercise but not constantly and that's very irresponsible from my part.

    Anyway, i try to feel better everyday but this is not easy as some people think. To deal with yourself it's a challenge everyday.

    ReplyDelete
  105. Hi dear Anette!
    I know a lot of people have already said this to you on their previous comments, but you are NOT ugly at all, NOT AT ALL!

    When I saw the Dark Passion Play promo photoshoots for the first time I inmediately fell "in love" with the lady I saw; the lady with that deep, mysterious look, beautiful cat-like eyes, long, black hair and a charming smile; one of the prettiest women I had seen until that time... The lady whose name, I later knew, was Anette Olzon ;)

    Talking about my personal experiences, I will share some of my own with you:
    First of all I must say that I have never been bullied due to weight problems, because I am a thin guy, a very very thin guy actually...
    However, I have always been a guy who is not very popular or "liked" by most people around me.

    I don't know why, people just doesn't seem to be very interested in becoming friends with me, situation which has made me get used to being alone sometimes :) I guess it's because I don't fullfill their "expectations"

    Still, that situation has never been a big trauma for me, not really... Luckily, I have been able to find some wonderful, reliable and supporting friends who have made the "burden" a bit lighter. I call it "burden" because I think that's the hardest thing of being part of nowadays' society.

    People tend to stereotype, to "tag" people; basing on their appearance, costumes, color of skin, or even religious beliefs etc without even caring about that other people's feelings. We live in a world where most people have forgotten the true meaning of life, worrying too much about the outside appearance and leaving the inside values (which are way more important) behind. People, specially at school" can be so cruel...

    I truly hope you understand that you are one of the most beautiful women I have ever known, both inside and outside ;)

    Thousands of billions of hugs, my dear angel <3

    Take care... ^^
    Emmanuel

    ReplyDelete
  106. Hi Anette!

    I think this is an important think to talk about. People don´t really realize how bad they can do just by saying something like "you are fat, you are too short...etc".

    I've had those kind of problems since I was a little girl. Now I'm 21 and I still go to the therapist because of it.

    I've written a post on my blog about what happened to me. It's called "My Story".... and I really would like you to read it.

    This is the link:

    http://metalcolica.blogspot.com/

    Thanks a lot for being so sweet and lovely with all of us.

    Love and hugs from Peru,

    Alejandra.

    ReplyDelete
  107. Hi Anette

    I've always thought I am fat, and got bullied a lot because of that. Have never had a good friend on school either. That has made me very depressed, and lost all my selfconfidence. I just think, why I am like this and why can't I change to be more like the others?
    I guess I just gotta learn to live with it, and I just hope the bad thoughts and bullying will stop soon.

    Felt good to say this, thanks ;)

    Hugs & love to you and your family :)

    ReplyDelete
  108. Hej Anette,

    I know you already got loads of comments on this, but I am not one of the persons commenting very often. Still I read your blog and this entry has really striked me in it's depth and I hope you'll make some time to read all the comments.
    I think what has touched me most is how you described how we start thinking we really are the way other people see us. Because, in this sad topic, that just is so true.

    I started becoming big in my puberty, no matter what I ate or what workouts I did aso. I did a nutrition consultation and everything, but still I gained more and more weight. And my parents started to become quiet unhappy about that pretty soon. Neither my mum nor my dad ever had that sort of problem, especially my dad being so very thin started nagging me about my weight. He never ever thought about the fact that I might have got genes from his parents and grandparents, who look the same like me (and also his sister). Or that I might have a disfunction with my thyroid.
    So I didn't learn to have any confidence in myself at home and the results showed off in school where I was bullied for years about being strange, not being pretty, having a strange name, being different from all the others. It affected my whole life.
    And so I started to believe I really was fat and ugly and strange from all the other people. I started secluding myself because I saw no other way and that has made it worse.

    Only when I started to study in a different city with different people, I started new. Now I could control what I ate because there weren't so many temptations everywhere like at home, and I started to have an inner need for excercising, while all the years before my mother tried to force me to do sports and that didn't work out.
    And I started from the beginning with other people. Slowly I managed to change my behaviour towars others, and open minded people got to know me for the person I really am. I made tons of friends and I became extremely happy. I managed to hold my weight, except for periods with more stress where I would lose some weight and gain it again later.
    I learned to dress myself and to like my face. I learned to be confident towards men.

    Though all of this was a great change, it never gets so easy like we want it to be. When I look in the mirror nowadays, I can see what my wonderful partner, who loves me just the way I am, sees in me, and I see what I like about me. Still I also see lots of things I don't like, which I want to change. Still I fantasize about making a hard diet (not that this would be of any use). Still I sometimes get extremely unconfident with strangers aso.

    It is as you said, when you have to listen to all this shit through years it is extremely hard to become a normal person again. Maybe we never learn to truly and always love the way we look. But it's so important to understand that this is the way we are. And also that eating habits and so on are not necessarily connected to the way we look.

    Thank you for your comforting post about this subject and don't hesistate to go on with your blog like this.

    Greetings from Germany
    a fan

    ReplyDelete
  109. Hi, dear Anette!

    First of all, I am impressed how much energy you put in talking with your fans! And this topic is the one that always bothers my mind. It's nice to read the opinion of one successful person. Since I'm in a band (yes, a local band, no schedules yet) but that problem bothers me more than before.
    If you have some time, I'd like to read your personal advice and I have some more concrete questions about that situation, you can e-mail me: sing.for.me@abv.bg

    Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  110. Hi Anette!

    Almost a year ago I decided to stop smoking without drugs or doctors. Maybe it was a bad idea to do it all by myself but I did it. Of course the trick was stuffing myself with food to forget the cigarette ... Result? 10kg more. But I feel good about it, because in spite of overweight and visually not be at my best, my stamina has improved, my skin is more beautiful and I feel more energetic.
    I know someday I will regain my weight but I will not lose my sleep over it. On the outside I may not look like a model but inside I feel like a goddess and that's how all people must feel.
    Don’t worry about your appearance, what matters is your inner beauty and there you are a goddess.

    Kisses

    Carla

    ReplyDelete
  111. Hi Anette,

    I love to read some post about this kind of things, when you ask a little reflection !

    So I really believe that the words are so important when we are young, and also when we are adult. But when we are adult we can imagine that people are wrong...

    About the weight and curves, I think that I don't have a lot of problem, i'm thin and i don't listen about the others... I eat what i want, when i want, but i try to control myself (sometimes ;-))and i love to try new clothes, even if it's a new size, and that i have take weight.

    When i read your post, i was thinking that of course, your fans can admire you, and maybe some fans want to be like you, so it's great to tell that you had difficulties : The most important is to be happy and to feel good in our body, clothes AND IN OUR MIND ! The size is just a number on a clothe and a "social-norm".

    Be happy Anette ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  112. Hi Anette!
    This is a very interesting topic and I'll share with you my ''story''.
    I have always thought that I was not beautiful, that I was too fat and I didn't like my body. ( 56kg and 1,57 tall)
    When I was 15/16 years old I went to the hospital 'cause I don't feel well..the doctors said that my disease had return (I have a strange form of anemia), so they told me that I had to take large doses of cortisone in order to feel better...
    I had no choice but this medicine has side effects (I can't translate them), but the worst is that it increases hunger, so the only thing I could do is to eat very much.
    In June I was 54 kg, at the end of the summer, in September I was 62kg! that's because the side effects of the medicine...
    I had to work hard to lose weigth, and I menaged but when I was 18, in June, the doctors told me that I have to take again large doses of cortisone and do chemotherapy because my desease has returned(again).
    I've spent bad months, lost my hair and I was again fat because of cortisone...I'll never forget those months..
    Now I'm 20, my hair grew and I've lost weight (I have to buy new clothes because the old ones are too large!!! 52kg and 1,60 tall)
    This experience makes me understand that beauty is important, but health is more important and we have to love our body even though it isn't as we want.

    The most important thing is the strenght that we have to face our difficulties, one day we'll also understand that we are beautiful even though the others think that we have to lose weith or what ever =)

    Take care Anette, I think that you are beautiful!

    Lucy

    ReplyDelete
  113. Oh jesus I can't believe it!! I wrote so large text and it removed it! Grrr... So mad... I will repeat it, but not so large :/
    So, first I appreciate you because you are one of few well-known person who tell us some information that very few person will. So, I really appreciate you because you are so nice person, not only outside, but even inside of you ;)
    So, lets start with my body. I have 17 years and you know what teenagers mean about theirs body. A year ago, I was embarrassing my body because I get 10 kilos more. But now, I don't bother with it any more or I'm but it is rarely. I'm 170 centimeters tall and have 65 kilos. So I think I'm a pretty normal person for my age. I used to eat very often. I was felling I'm hungry but I wasn't so I was eating. Now, I don't eat so much, I only have 3 meals on day and I don't feel I'm hungry. I used to eat very late, but now I don't eat after 8 or 9 o'clock. I often try to reduce my weight.
    I don't like my body because it could be much better, but I'm not embarrassed my body because I'm not fat.
    The only thing I embarrassed is my face. Why? Because my face is always red, even in warm or cold place. But that is not so big problem. The problem is I have some red stain on left side of my face. :( When I have a pony tail hair, it see very well, but when I don't have a pony tail hair it doesn't see so well. They told me that I can remove it with laser in 17 year and now, I am 17. But, maybe laser could do some mistakes on my face and I will be a freak for rest of my life :/
    And you shouldn't worry about your body, because with two children you look very nice ;)
    Have a nice evening and get rest
    Big hug from Croatia
    Marija

    ReplyDelete
  114. Hi Anette.
    Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I think it is quite scary actually that you come with this now, as this is a point in my life where I am really struggling with my own body as well. I am not fat, and don't see myself as that either, but somehow I do feel like I have to loose weight.
    I don't feel comfortable in my body at all, and each time I see a girl skinnier than me I feel horrible. I stopped eating breakfast and lunch, and today I actually found myself standing before a rack with dieting products in the store.
    I know I am not fat, I am 1.75 m and 54 kg, but I feel like the whole world is skinnier and prettier than me.

    Love, Lisa <3

    ReplyDelete
  115. I wish I had gotten to get online before and read this post. Still, hopefully you`ll see my comment.
    I`ll be fifteen on the thirteenth this month, and my chest is completely flat. I never heard of people considering big breasts and hips ugly. They were always made out to be really hot where I live. I`ve always felt bad about my chest, ever since I was 11 and all the other girls had huge boobs already. I usually feel fat and skip meals...but sometimes I look in the mirror and realize I`m very skinny and maybe could actually look better with more weight...but I keep skipping meals and trying to get skinnier. I have like, no hips, and I feel ugly about that too. But mostly it`s my chest, which I feel ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE about all the time. One friend of mine seems embarrassed to be seen out with me because I have a kid`s body. She tries to get me to wear a bra and stuff it when we go out, and it makes me feel really bad.
    I don`t know if this comment makes much sense, but, whatever. Thanks for this post, it makes me feel better, because I always thought you were beautifully thin and perfect. It`s nice to know you sometimes go through the same things as me. take care
    love,
    Emily

    ReplyDelete
  116. Hi Anette, it's really nice that you are "touching" this topic. I always had a very low self-esteem because of my look. When I was young I was fat and wearing glasses so other children were teaseing with me about it. They were thin and "perfect" and I was big, fat, ugly little girl. Then When I was about 12-13yr old I told "enough" to myself and started to do excercise. I've done hard work and I finally nearly got what I wanted - I'm not so "perfect" but I'm quiet happy about what I see in the mirror - I don't like my face but this thing I can't change so I had to get used to it :) I still go to the gym to keep myself fit and not to become that fat girl again for everybody to laugh at me. It's hard because I love to eat and sometimes when I see some extra curves I excercise more and more to get rid of it because I always think that I can look "better" - I suppose that I will never be 100% satisfied of my body but I think that is the thing that will never change because of my trauma from the childhood. As you said - words from the past can haunt you forever...
    Take care
    Marta from Poland

    ReplyDelete
  117. hej hej!
    wow, this is one of those posts, why i love to read your blog. it's so deep and so good. amazing.

    well, my parents sent me to a private convent school, since they thought i should have a great education, but the whole thing was, since we weren't rich, this was a hard way to go through.

    i used to had normal weight for a child when i started this, but i was bullied for years over years, so i started to eat. when i'm looking back, it really surprises me, that i gained not so much, but when i left this school after 12 years i went out of it with nearly 90 kilos by 1,68 m.

    i got bulemia when i left, because i wanted to get rid of everything what happened there. actually the last years weren't that bad and there were a lot of good times, but the thing was all those rich, beautiful and tiny girls told me, that i'm a nothing, i have not the right to sit in this school.

    and since we had lots of troubles and worries at home, due to the first husband of my mother, noone understood.

    nowadays i'm just enjoying life, respecting me and love to have a look into the mirror.of course my body isn't perfect after losing bout 20 kilos, but it's okay. i didn't treat it well. but i'm so proud of having ordinary eating habits again and just feel well. i really enjoy the sight of my body in the mirror.

    there are some scratches and scars from running around and climbing in trees, an operation, my rabbit, etc. and i'm just happy to sit here and being a positive person. though there were enough of hard times.

    thank you for writing this personal post.
    greetings, lahja.

    ReplyDelete
  118. Hello Anette,

    Thanks for sharing your story with us. You are a beautiful person, and it's a shame that people felt the need to make you feel otherwise.

    You asked us about our experiences. I'm an overweight woman, I always have been. And it hasn't been easy. I got teased in school, and I always felt like I had no friends because I had no confidence in myself to make friends. My father always told me "you need to lose weight." Of course I knew he was right, but I felt so down, all I wanted to do was at least enjoy food. There was no motivation.

    Things have gotten better. I have good friends, but I am still not a skinny girl, I am still overweight, and I am not sure where to even start to change that. I do look in the mirror and think I look fine. But when I look at photos, I feel awful about myself. I have never had a boyfriend, I have never been kissed by a man (and I'm almost 26). And I always wonder if it's because I'm not skinny. It's difficult, but then there are days when I don't care, and I find pretty clothes, and I feel pretty. I try not to worry about it too much, and I'm waiting for that right motivation to work hard and feel happy about myself. I know I have to do it in a way that I'm happy with and having fun with, otherwise, it won't be lasting and I'll be miserable.

    <3 Lauren

    ReplyDelete
  119. So many touching stories here. All the best to all of you.

    ReplyDelete
  120. I didn't really care until I was severly bullied at school. It lead me into doing a lot of nasty things to boost my confidence but the mistakes lead me to meeting my special someone. We're not dating, but he's always nice and caring and loves my body. I still think it's ugly because I always feel forced to compare myself to other people who are pretty.

    ReplyDelete
  121. I realize I'm a bit late in seeing this post, but since most people here are sharing their stories, I figured I might as well share mine, too.

    I'm almost nineteen-years old, and I am still not yet at the point where I am embracing my physical appearance. There are many things that I dislike about my body, but I suppose my biggest hangup about myself is my height. I'm 4'7" (or approximately 140cm), and I've always been insecure about my height because I feel like it's the first thing people notice when they look at me. Whenever I tell people my age, they tend to not believe me because I look significantly younger. The only thing I want is people to look past my size and just take me for who I am.

    Ladies, thank you all for sharing your stories. For those of you struggling with your body image, I hope that you will eventually find it within yourselves to not only accept your body, but embrace it and love it.

    Take care,

    Grace

    ReplyDelete
  122. Hey Anette!

    It's great that you're writing something on this topic. You're beautiful by the way, I hope you realize that :)

    I myself hate my body. I think I am really fat, and I have had quite a lot of problems and those things combined and then I got into pro-ana (which is now almost 3 years ago, I was 13 back then) which totally got me on the wrong path, but I see that only now and now it is too late. Eating is a struggle everyday, even though I quit pro-ana. I think it just got into my head and I know it's wrong, but I don't feel strong enough to fight it. I restrict a lot, but lately my body doesn't seem to be able to really take it anymore. My hair started falling out, my nails are bad, very pale and dry skin, yellow teeth, not being able to sleep. Now I started a mealplan with additional vitamins, which is very difficult to keep up with. I hate it because when friends are having fun , the only thing I can think about is food. Or when they're going out I stay at home because I'm afraid I'll have to eat, so there's not that much of a social life left either. I have always been very insecure but it was a nasty comment from a classmate when I just got on a new school that triggered it. It is completely true what you write. People really need to watch out what they say :( I don't think some people realize what a "simple comment" can do to someone.

    Take care! <3

    ReplyDelete
  123. I've always been very skinny, no curves, but that's what people throw at me: "you're so skinny, don't you ever eat??". If I eat with them, I eat more than them most of the time, that's when they shut up.

    But I completely understand how you must have felt, it's horrible!

    PS: The first time I saw you on the NW website in 2007, I thought, wow, she looks good!! Let that make you feel better ;)

    X

    ReplyDelete
  124. I just read this post since I have been in winter break for the last 7 days without any computer so my answer comes a bit late :)

    I personally like my body. Nowadays. When I look at the mirror the only thing I would like to change is my height. I would like to be more taller.

    Things haven't always been this well. I have always been a bit shorter girl than everyone else in my class. I have always been thin.

    When I was 12 years old, my friend asked me how much is my weight, I answered my weight and then my friend just shouted at me that "You don't weight that much because that's how much I weight and I'm bigger than you and you are so little!".

    I already knew that I was smaller, but this friend of mine really hit my nerve saying "I'm bigger than you and you are so little". It was horrible for 12 years old girl to hear that.

    Since that very moment, I have tried to eat more and more and grow bigger and taller. The only thing is that I never had a single extra kilo and I remained to be thin. Though I haven't never been too thin, never anorecticly thin, thank god!

    I know that there are millions of women who would like to have this kind of situation: no matter how much I eat, I never get too much weight. But for me, it was very traumatic. It's hard to explain this because most women can't understand this.

    Since I have always been short and thin people have treated me however they have wanted. They haven't taken my opinion into consideration etc since they have just thought that "She's so little that it's ok to her, who cares".

    Now I'm 23 years old and I like my body more. It's not perfect but I'm okay with it.

    I gotta say, Anette, that your figure looks very good and normal, don't ever change! :)

    ReplyDelete
  125. Hi Annette,
    I am saddened at the number of people commenting, including you, who hate(d)their bodies and/or have been bullied.
    I think you are quite pretty and look younger than your age. Curves are much nicer than a flat skinny body and most men would agree with me.
    As women, we put so much pressure on ourselves, to the point of ridicule.
    My husband doesn't have a beauty routine and doesn't put pressure on himself like me to try look flawless. He finds women's obsession with perfection stupid and anorexic looking models in magazines scary (me too), I suspect than many men share his views. Our society has become really shallow and obsessed with beauty perfection and youth.
    This being said, obesity is a real health issue.
    I have been mostly happy with my body shape(166cm for 58 kilos at 18) but I started to put on weight slowly in my twenties. It culminated after 1 year of antidepressants for Postnatal depression (12 kg in 1 year!) and I reached a max weight of 76 kgs.
    5 years ago, I was diagnosed with Insulin resistance (my body produces too much Insulin to keep my blood sugar level stable. Unfortunetly, Insulin is a fat storage hormone and a master hormone which imbalances many systems in the body if it is too high. It eventually leads to Diabetes/heart disease if nothing is done)I started to eat low GI and exercise moderately. I lost (only) 3 kilos. Then I was put on Metformin which makes the cells more sensitive to Insulin and was told to stop the Pill which increase Insulin levels and do stress management (Stress hormone Cortisol, competes with Insulin). I lost another 3 kilos. I then started to educate myself because of other ongoing health issues that mainstream medecine couldn't adress. Being in Health helped.
    It was the best thing that I did.
    I also discovered that most antidepressants increased Insulin and that is why some people put on weight. None of the doctors I have seen knew that.
    I changed my diet to become Primal (All Organic Grain free, moderate protein, High fat foods) and I have never looked back.
    I have lost another 7 kilos and I am now between 61-62 kilos.
    I now look better at 43 than in my thirties!
    For people who wants to lose weight sensibly, I recommend to read "The Gabriel Method" by Jon Gabriel. It is a very holistic approach for losing weight. I also recommend the blog of Mark Sisson (Mark's daily apple)and his book.
    Insulin resistance is very common (1 woman out of 5). For me, it is due to bad genes and a sensitive nature susceptible to chronic stress. So stress management is also a path to weight loss.
    No wonder you put on weight during the insanely long DPP tour. Stress + bad food is not a good combo.
    You seem to follow a low carb diet?.
    80% of weight loss is through food changes, 20% through exercise. Mark Sisson's approach is great (read his case against high intensity cardio). I only use my own body for the moment (push ups, chin up etc...) as I am less likely to get injured than if I use kettlebells, weights...
    Ok, I have been blabbering for too long and probably boring everyone to death but myself...
    I hope you will recover quickly (what a fall!) and I am very happy for you that Nemo was Ok).
    All the best

    ReplyDelete
  126. Dear Anette,
    First I wasn’t sure rather I would respond on this topic or not.
    I’ve talked to a close friend of me and she sad maybe you feel better.
    Everything started when I was 12 years old and my mother was preparing me to go to high school.
    My mother was depressed and had that ideal thought since my sister died 10 years earlier. When I was a kid I wasn’t that fat but I didn’t had such a strong body. She was always saying that in high school the first impression counts. So I was telling myself when I got my body fit an well they can’t say a thing about that. So I went playing tennis an saw my body changing but still my mother always commented me that I was fat and that I should look up to the girl next door, she was so beautiful and smart, …
    So I sported almost every day and started to skip breakfast, not much longer skipped eating lunch and punished myself to move as much as possible.
    So, it continued till I was 16. One day my parents had to go to school, there was a problem with me. Not only my weight was a problem also my behavior. I could go from very happy till dangerous aggression. I couldn’t control my emotions anymore because I had that strongly feeling of falling my parents.
    Most parents would have a reaction by talking to the child or something like that, but they didn’t.
    They even laughed to the teacher who was concerned, she eats enough she just lost a lot of weight by sporting!
    Now I think by myself; my weight was 43kg by 1m63, how could they think this is normal!

    Everything went better when I was 19 and get to learn my husband. With better I only say my weight is better! To accept who you are and being in a relationship is difficult. He is my guardian angel. He takes who I am, sometimes very happy the other time I scream everything together. I have as well problems by showing my emotions, I can only cry when I am alone. Last year I become a lot of weight and I didn’t know why because I didn’t change anything by what I am eating. So 2 months ago I went to the doctor for a blood proof and secretly thinking “Am I pregnant”, but the result wasn’t what I suspected. I’ve got to much cotisol in my blood, my sugar levels are too low. Now I am taking pills for my energy level because I was so tired, I wanted to sleep al day.
    In April I have to go back for another blood proof, and being a little bit nervous.
    I becoming this summer 27, but I still have problems with myself and my body, I don’t know or it ever change or not. The mental damage stays rather I like it or not, some days go great but there some days I look back and feel so sad or angry, the only thing what always calmed me was music, I listen to it, dream away from here, like I am somewhere else, sounds maybe crazy, maybe I am, I just know when I have children I would treasure every moment and courage them in everything they do instead of breaking everything down, till now I’ve got that feeling by proving myself by them, you get so tired of it.
    I hope you realize that you’re beautiful, from the outside and the inside.
    I hope you feel better soon after such a fall, a big hug to you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Well, hmm...I don't really know what exactly to tell. I have never been skinny and always a bit on the rounder side. When I was really young I didn't care about it and never compared myself to other people, but during secondary school (age ~13) I started thinking seriously about my weight and looks for the first time. Since then I have been really insecure about my body, and I really can't say I like it. Some days I can feel beautiful, and then I don't care that my hips are wide, but most of the time I can't look at my legs or belly without feeling sad and/or a little disgusted.
    I've tried losing weight; I have dance lessons at least twice a week (sometimes more) since five years back and went to the gym regularly whole last year, but it just seems like nothing works on me. I hate buying pants since I never find ones that fit properly, and when I dress in dresses or skirts I always wonder what people are thinking when they look at my legs. It didn't make it better that my mum said that I could afford to lose weight too.

    So I guess the answer to your question is that I try to embrace myself, but I mostly end up bashing myself. I try telling myself that it doesn't matter if I'm a little round, but I just can't seem to persuade myself.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Hello Anette
    I'm from Brazil and would like to first say that I love her voice
    and think you're beautiful.
    In the last two years i have been having problems with my weight many people noticed(especially my parents) and began
    a campaign to make me lose weight.
    I do not like it, I know I'm a bit above my weight, but
    I hate that they are regulating or fighting with me in
    front of other people.
    My mom makes this every time, I get really upset, she should support me in
    way I am and not be saying every time that I'm fat and ugly by being fat.
    This goes quite bothering me, because I do not think that i'm a beautiful girl,I'm hiding in clothes a little bigger
    and now I'd rather not look in the mirror ...

    It's been very difficult to deal with this situation.
    Beauty now is to be super skinny, and have any
    type of fat is the most wrong and you end up being discriminated against.

    Well, thank you for listening ...
    sorry for the typos, I am not
    very good in English.

    Camila.
    black_fary@hotmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  129. Usch, det där är hemskt :/ Det är ju bara rent ut sagt elakt att säga sådär, särskilt en lärare! De borde ju inte få säga sånt.
    Konstigt nog har man aldrig sagt nåt sånt åt mig, men jag själv tycker inte alls om min kropp. Mina två bästa vänner och min pojkvän är alla tre mycket smalare än jag, och det känns svårt. Särskilt min allra närmaste vän är på något sätt alltid mycket bättre än jag på vad vi än gör. Det tär på mig.
    Min pojkvän har aldrig klagat på mig, han säger att han tycker om mig som jag är, och alla säger "men du har bara sån kroppsbyggnad". Okej, men jag vill inte ha sån här kroppsbyggnad!
    Egentligen är det helt dumt, jag väger inte väldigt mycket alls, men jag är så kort att jag är som "ihoptryckt", känns det som.

    Jag tog inte skada av att man kommenterade mitt utseende, bara mig själv, min personlighet, och det tog skada på allt jag är. Många dagar känner jag mig som den fulaste personen i världen.
    Förlåt, när jag en gång börjar prata är det så svårt att sluta.

    Men du.. Jag tycker du alltid har sett och ser otroligt bra ut, du är så vacker, jag har många gånger tänkt att jag skulle vilja se lika vacker ut som du, och ha all den fantastiska energin du har på scenen.

    Många kramar från Helsingfors!
    //Tova

    ReplyDelete
  130. Now I can say what I think, for me it's even hard to think how I see my body. I prefer not to even think about it, that's why this post was really hard to read. It take alot of time to think what could I say.

    I have been anorexic for a years. I have lost a friend for this horrible illnes, and still I can't stop. There are some days, that I felt okay with my body. Those days are the best ones.

    The hardest thing is to find clothes I can wear and feel okay. Many clother doesn't fit for me, I want to be normal but I can't. Yet. I wait for the day, when I can like, maybe love, my body and start living for real. I could use the clothes I like and look good at them.

    I wish I could love my body, not to use it against me. I would want to say peoples that, stop before they even start. Life is too beautiful and short to waste.

    ReplyDelete
  131. Oh my. I am so incredibly sorry for what happened to you. (Little late, this reply, but whatthehell.)

    Usually I try not even to think about my body. I don´t have a mirror that shows my whole body, I don´t go to the swimming pool... I´ve been battling anorexia for about two years now, maybe more - it´s so hard to tell when it started. Plus, I have depressions and even though I´m on strong medication it is sometimes hard to even open my eyes.
    I stopped counting calories, I don´t dare to do sports at the moment, I know I wouldn´t be able to stop myself... But I wish I could. I just want back my life. All this depression, self-harming behaviour, anorexia - I want all the time back, all the time that I spent cutting myself, forcing myself to do sports, trying to kill myself, crying myself to sleep, counting calories... I want it back, but I know I won´t get it back.

    You know, when I first saw a picture of you I was like "WOW, she must be like one of the most beautiful women in the world", and I compared you to all the super-thin models and you looked (and still look) so healthy and happy and beautiful...!
    Being healthy is much more beautiful than being skinny, but it´s so hard to accept my own body becoming healthier instead of skinnier...
    So next to all this strong people that got themselves out of their depressions, I will from now on think of YOU when I need a role-model to get out of anorexia.

    I don´t know if you will read this. But if you do - thank you. Thank you so much! I feel somewhat better now. Not sure why... But for sure because of you. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  132. Hello Anette:

    I´m writting from Peru. Just want to tell you that you have an amazing and beautiful voice. I have no words to express how made me fell the way you use your voice in the last Nightwish Album.

    Maybe this was no the toppic of this blog, but just wanna to tell you that you transcended on me (trascendiste en mi, impactaste muy positivamente mi vida), so Thank You! Thank you for giving always the best of you.

    I wish all the happiness in your live.

    Marcel Verand

    ReplyDelete