Good morning!
The last days here in Sweden the biggest thing in media has been the murder of a 4 year young little boy who they now think was murdered by another child.
It´s just horrible and one thing that I felt was extra disturbing, was that there were just one adult present in the playground where it all started. The adult even saw this little boy being chased and in trouble but didnt do anything to help or stop the bullying and arguing.
I cant believe that we do not care and react if someone is in danger. What happened to adults responsibilites to show that violence is never ok?
In many schools its exactly like this. The kids are in figths, children are bullied and no teachers or adults are ever present out in the school yard to look what´s going on. This gives the result that children can bully and mock others without consequences and with kids we know that they do not understand consequences, so to sit on someone or push someone to the ground can end up with lethal endings and this week this has been so obvious to me that people really need to stop thinking that "they can manage it themselves" or "I dont want to help cause its their business".
No! We need to help, we need to react, we need to stop violence and stop thinking children can control everyhing themselves cause they cant!
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Good morning!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you. I think that bullism is a really nasty thing. The children are so precious and we have to help them, everytime they need us.
Yesterday I heard Tuomas' and yours interview for a Swedish radio channel (I think). It was so funny:) I laughed a lot!
Enjoy your day!
Kisses to you and your little boys*
Hello Anette, Here Here! I totally agree with you!
ReplyDeleteThis is absolutely disturbing news & only 4 years old its beyond shocking!
I have seen a report that in China a young girl was run over 2 times & people walking past & on mopeds just looked at her on the ground & carried on going...then finally one lady dragged the girl to the side but then just left her & then eventually a office type looking lady came & carried the girl away....its reported that the driver said he didnt see the girl...but he ran over her with the front wheel then stopped for a few seconds then the 2nd wheel came over her...I cannot believe what is happening in the world today...how the hell did it come to this in this world & day & age...how can children die like this..It makes me so very angry when other people dont help or just walk by or dont get involved when they could help..they are cowards & are weak...its a very sad world we live in...really we are not safe anywhere & thats a horrible feeling :(
hope you feel ok Anette
Kisses
Kelly
XxX
It is horrible, when things like this happen. I am so sorry for the young murdered child, its parents. I do send them my sincerest regards, although that does not really help them at all...
ReplyDeleteNevertheless, I feel also sorry for the other kid that is supposed to have murdered the child. I mean, how can this happen? Was it a "known" act? If so, how could the child develop that way that it uses such an aggressive action? Was it an "unknown" act without realizing the consequences? How can you live with that?
It is so so sad to see such things happen and it is so unimagineable.
However, this is how "our world" is - unfortunately. We do stand by, let force and bullying and power reign our live; many people do not step in, do not help... and this can be due to so many reasons... due to not realizing an emergency, not taking responsibility for it or for feeling helpless cause of not knowing how to deal with this case. We need to give people advise, how to step in. We need to make them aware of the possible signs of such bullying... and we need to show them strategies to deal with that.
Furthermore we need to teach our children how to react on difficult situations, and that showing aggression is not the way we want them to react! But how is this possible... when e.g. TV shows them the opposite? Many children in that age have already seen so many tv shows... and most of them DO deal with force in any kind of way and most of the time show that aggression is some kind of way to "solve" problems.
It is so strange... when such tragedies happen we do ask for reasons and ask for and name sources for such possible aggression behaviour to be learnt. But what do we do against that? We produce more and more aggressive TV shows, we produce more and more aggressive PC games - and yes, I am aware that ONLY playing these games or watching this show does not necessarily mean that you're going to murder someone... this depends on a lot of other factors, however, this CAN play its part as showing a "possible" aggressive way that in some kinds seems to be acceptable)... we are very quickly with stating who's fault it is, however... it is not the task of some people to do something against this situation... it is the task of a whole generation!
"Bowling for Columbine" repeats itself :/
ReplyDeleteAnd this right here is why I really admire you as a person. Because you don't turn a blind eye, and speak up about the things that are important to you, and people in general.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Hi Anette,
ReplyDeleteyou´re absolutely right! I don´t have children yet but if I did, I would like to trust teachers and others to have a look at what kids are doing when I´m not around. ´Cause although being "only" children, they can also be very cruel sometimes, especially if it´s a whole group against one (physically or on psychological terms, intentional or unintentional ).
Of course you can´t control everything 24 hours a day but especially such young kids can´t handle things always alone. Therefore they are children, they need parental/adult guidance and also PROTECTION if necessary! But seeing every day on TV what even adults do to each other what can we expect of the youth? They are a mirror to our society.
I think we all have to look more carefully at things happening around us and not being like: It´s not my business. IT IS, especially if children are concerned!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts here...
Warm greetings from Germany!
Hi Anette!
ReplyDeleteYes you are right, the children should be helped. Many are angry at the school and no one does anything. I think teachers should help. Teachers should also talk with the parents of the children. An extra train should give a group or contact person determines the students can help with specific problems. I would love to help the students. I was in my school days often teased and pelted with even matters. That was not nice for me and I wanted to go to school do not really, but I had to. With unexcused absence I would have only hurt themselves. I found it sad that the teachers have seen what they did and did not react. Today, many think only of themselves to help, rather than another. I find that sad.Many forget that a child is a child and still have much to learn. Children just need a protective hand and these hand are the parents.
Greetings and hugs to sweden!
Sarah
Good lord in heavens :/ That's indeed disturbing. I don't even know what is worse, the fact that the adult didn't try to stop this tragedy OR THAT THE MURDERER WAS ANOTHER CHILD! I wonder how we have come to this? Maybe it's understandable (even if not justified or normal) for adults to be in arguments that lead to such gestures, but CHILDREN?! I think this should be a big wake-up call for everyone. The violence is just going too far, those children DO SEE these behaviours somewhere around them. I don't know if they see it in their families or on the streets, in the media etc, but things cannot go like this anymore, or soon the whole world will be a slaughter-house. I'm just shocked and very saddened to hear of such a happening. I wish adults were more careful about the education of their children. Media nowadays is so full of violence, even in tv shows that are especially made for children, cartoons and so on. I don't know, but this kind of events didn't happen 10-15 years ago, when I was a kid and the exposure to violence (even indirect) didn't exist at such rates.
ReplyDeleteI can't help but feeling sorry both about the child who is dead, and the one who did it.
That is really sad.
ReplyDeleteOn the one hand I understand why the adult didn´t do anything.
1st children have to learn to solve problems with each other (decided by our pedagogues).
2nd noone could imagine that something like this could happen.
But on the other hand if the boy is dead now the trouble had to be very loudly and terrible. And I think sometwhere along the line it is enough and the adult had to step in towards the argument.
I feel sorry for the family but who the fuck let his own 4 year old son alone on the playground?
I read the news on 8 Sidor and I am so chocked. I really can't understand how people could just let it happen. It is definitely not a good world to have kids in.
ReplyDeleteHi Anette,
ReplyDeletethat's sadness read this and i agree with you! One question: did Seth ever have any problem like this (talking about bullying)?
Det är så fruktansvärt tragiskt alltihop, både att offret bara var 4 år och att det eventuellt är ett annat barn som är förövaren :-(
ReplyDeleteBarn förstår ju inte vad konsekvenserna av våld kan bli, de kastar stenar på varandra och slår på varandra utan att tänka på vad som kan hända. Jag håller med dig om att lärare och andra vuxna borde reagera och hjälpa till, att lära barn att våld aldrig är okej. Annars kommer allt fler sluta på samma sätt som 4-åringen.
In my opinion,a child is a reflection of the parents. The problem is US, the grown ups. People have children and then they "park" them somewhere..... They don't spend quality time to educate them, teach them the morals, teach them the difference between good and bad. The thing to do is to make ourselves more considerate of others, more caring. That way the children would follow. Being a ugly, nerdy, tomboy teenager I have been bullied a lot. An 11 year old classmate of mine told me that we wanted to push me off the stairs so that I could "break a leg, head, hand or neck". Guess what Annette.... he did it out of anger because his parents punished him at home because he was just the second best in school after me. So it all comes to this: BAD adults, BAD parents.
ReplyDeleteDearest Anette,
ReplyDelete…it saddens me to deeply to hear of this, and I really couldn’t agree with you more. It is the responsibility of parents to teach, guide, support, and protect their children, and this includes teaching them good morals, and teaching them how to be good people and behave appropriately around others. Sadly, so many people who have children are not fit to be parents, and it’s not necessarily because they are ‘bad’ people or will never be ready to have children, but simply because they are not ready yet.
Many people have children when they are still too young or are simply not experienced and stable enough. Some people are ready before others, hence why all people need to think and consider carefully before deciding they want to have children.
And, of course, there is the flip side of the coin when for whatever their reasons, some people are simply not cut out to be parents. It’s not that there is one ‘right’ way to raise children, different things work for different parents and different children, of course, but all parents still need to be attentive, responsible, and teach children common good morals.
It is clear to me that this little boy lost his life because the adult either wasn’t paying attention or just couldn’t be bothered to do something about it. The other child can’t be blamed, because his parents should have been teaching him better, and he should have been stopped long before the situation got out of control and had his behavior corrected.
When I went on a vacation earlier this year, there was a playground near where I was staying, and I would often go there to read a book or just relax in the sun, and nearly every time I was there I would see parents that had taken their children their after school and still failed to interact with their children or even be attentive to what they were doing. I’m thinking, why? How could they do this? Their children have been in school all day and now when they take them to play, they still won’t spend time with them? They’d rather have their children go off and play only with other children while they ignore them and just talk to the other parents? Of course especially when children are a bit older, they may not want their parents to interact with them so much and would rather just play with their friends the whole time, and that is fine, but parents still need to be attentive and need to put their children first.
Hell, I once saw a little girl who must have only been three or four, and her mother had taken her to the playground, and she was asking her mother to push her in the swing. Her mother wouldn’t do it because she was too busy speaking with another one of the adults. Simple as it may have been, I found this to be a very sad and telling situation. Supposedly, parents take their children to the playground so they can have fun, not so the parents can ignore their children and talk to each other.
I felt quite bad for the little girl, of course, so I went over and pushed her in the swing. Her Mother was kind enough to thank me.
(I am breaking this into two comments, so that it is not so long.)
(Part two of my comment.)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I find this all very sad and disturbing, and it could be helped considerably if parents were more responsible and actually raised their children themselves instead of depending on teachers, daycares, and nannies to do it. And, once again, on the flipped side of the coin, I am not saying that everything children do is their parents fault, especially when children get older and have become more of their own persons, much of it is not because of the parents. However, it is still the parent’s responsibility to attempt to guide and correct their children, and much of how children become when they get older is a result of what they were taught when they were young.
That being said, as children get older, they are capable of making coherent decisions, and even if they have excellent parents, they won’t always do the right things, which is simply part of growing up, and parents still need to guide them, while letting them make certain mistakes, if they are not too dangerous. Because sometimes people need to go through ‘darker’ phases in order to learn from them, grow away from them, and be better for it. And if parents never let their children do the wrong thing and see what the consequences can be, they will not be prepared to live on their own in the world.
As it is…I apologize for such a long comment, I simply found your blog post very sad and disturbing, and wanted to share my thoughts. I send my prayers to the little boy who lost his life, and I pray that those around him, especially the adult who was watching the children, will learn greatly from this and realize it is their responsibility to teach and correct these children.
Sadly, in the world we live in today, if often takes a shocking and terrible event like this in order to ‘wake people up’.
In spite of this, I do hope that you will have a wonderful and strong day. I am thankful that there are still many good people and parents like you in this world.
Much love to you,
Alexandria
I feel very sorry for kids today, Young ppl are so worldly and mean. And they're having babies themselves, treating the adults at the hospitals with such disrespect. One young girl told me "this water tastes like crap". Just so discouraging!
ReplyDeleteit's always easier to look away instead of reacting. . .most people are much too egoistic to think any further than themselves!
ReplyDeleteyes we have to guide the children. . .show them what's right and what's not!!
it's really horrible what happened to this little one!! and the fact that nobody was helping makes it even worse. . .
Hi Anette:)
ReplyDeleteSpot on. Well said, and in total agreement with.....
take care, and keep the faith! (Y)
lots of love
Gary
Good evening from me, Anette!
ReplyDeleteA not-so-nice reason to write this post, still it's a true story! I notice that kind of behaviour all around me, almost all the time.. so sad. That's why I can feel your anger and disappointness and sadness. Unfortunately there isn't much each one of us can do to change the picture in this big, big world.
My country itself is amongst the least settled well, murders, coruption, bad behaviour and so on, and so on. All the bad things. Just today there was that tramway which has made a big catastrofy in our capital city, Sofia, it crashed into a minibus, an auto, and the most unfortuned of all - a walking woman crossing the street on a green line, never expecting this would happen to her!
And I don't have anymore hope that things will change soon. :-(
I've never wanted to made you day grey with my sad thoughts, so I sent you kisses and hugs with all my heart, which you REALLY deserve for all the goodness in you heart!!!
Sleep tight now!
Marina
Oh Anette, that's terrible! :'(
ReplyDeleteAnd I totally agree with you!
Take care!
Hi Anette :)
ReplyDeleteThis reminded me so much of a more or less recent story that happened in China. Someone ran over a two-year old girl, and no one around would help her get up, so she ended up getting run over a 2nd time, and would probably not be alive if a woman hadn't taken her to the hospital. Scary thing is, there were loads of people around, and no one even reacted the least bit. Scary world we live in if people won't even help children anymore.
Though looking at it from a more optimistic point of view, as long as there's always one person who's willing to help, there's still hope that people haven't totally gone downhill :)
Have a great evening/night!
Alexandrina
Hi dear!!
ReplyDeleteIt's a sad and horrible new, I can´t believe it, it's so worrying to see that the human quality is lost little by little . You're right, stop violence please!
xoxo
Hello Anette !
ReplyDeleteI feel so sorry to hear that story :(((
It's incredible how Humans are being the worst thing that ever happened to this world !
I agree with you,we need to stop the hate and the violence. I think that kids need to learn how to be a better people,just because they are kids it doesn't means that they can hurt the others,those kids need help because if they do those kind of things now,i bet they will be worse in the future.
Older peole need to be more careful,this is just too dangerous !
Actually there was a kid here in Portuga,he was addicted to his game but his mother said that he had to stop playing and he hurted her with a knife,luckily she didn't died ! He had 1 year(i think) with help and he recovered from his problems,but now he is in the same school as me...
It's weird for sure !
Well,i hope that things get better :(
Kisses and Hugs from Portugal (don't think in that too much Anette,just have beautiful dreams (: )Liliana
Poor child its hard to believe things like this happen but unfortunately they do happen. The best we can do is be the best we can and help when others are in need.
ReplyDeleteI share your pain about the sad news.
Try to enjoy your day :)
I couldn't agree more. I myself was bullied in grade 1 and most of the adults either blamed me or just didn't care. Then I changed school to one of the best in my country and I have quite a backbone now, so it's not a problem anymore. I believe the help of older people could have prevented so many deaths / suicides.. Feel sorry for the people who have lost someone / died because of someone else's carelessness...
ReplyDeleteHow can people just stand and watch when the other is in mortal danger?! Especially if the danger is a four-year child. It's terrible! And how angry some of the children in our time. And the worst thing that kids always look up to adults, and parents do not pay attention to it. What can we do - to be kinder to each other and pay more attention and love to children. terrible news (
ReplyDelete