So all of you wonderful people who open up and tell me your stories about bullying - THANKS!!
I will answer in the comments section to your comments and lets keep this discussion on-going cause its so important and the more we talk about it, the more we can do;=)
I have answered some comments already this morning and will continue later today when I am back home from my errands.
Enjoy this day and be kind to each other!
Posts
Hi Anette thanks for your answers ;)
ReplyDeleteLove
Isa
Hi Anette!
ReplyDeleteI think that what are you doing is admirable. Very few people are willing to help who suffer. These ones should learn from you. Your work is great.
You said that you have plans for the future against bullying. What do you think to do? If it will be possible, I'd like to help you ;)
I totally agree with you when you say that bullies are afraid of the world. I think they do what they do, cause they can't express in other ways their fear! I just hate those who do not treat others with respect. If one person haven't positive/kind words for the others, he/she must stay in silence. I think that the respect is very important in our life. Who can't respect the others is a poor person.
Enjoy your day too :)
Kisses to all of you
Oh my god, Anette, you're such a wonderful person to take care of us like you do...
ReplyDeleteEach time I think you're no more in Nightwish I feel my heart broken... You were so fucking perfect together, it's so a pity...
I think the most frustrating thing is that we don't really know WHY ? And it was so spontaneously !
Anyway, I will always love you and the band !
Take care of yourself pretty girl !
Simona
Aye Simona, I know how you feel... Each time I think about I suffer as well, I have an hole inside... But life goes on!
DeleteMy father loves music more than anything in this world, so when I got the news I asked him to help me. He told me that this kind of separations can also result good things, maybe some day we will love both Nightwish and Anette (in any way her career continues) as different parts. Of course we will miss the magical team and that's a fact, but we will hearten with "Dark Passion Play", "Imaginaerum" and the new stuff! ;)
Nothing to thank us for, Anette - we should be the ones thanking YOU for bringing up such a discussion. Unfortunately, when people look at it from an outsider's point of view, as in, someone who's not being bullied anymore or has never been, it's very easy to forget about how important it is to prevent bullying around us. So I think it's a very good and clever thing not to let the matter die. This way, it can remain permanently on our mind.
ReplyDeleteHave a great day!
Hello Anette! You are a very inspirational and positive motivating force. Thank you for keeping your blog. Enjoy your day!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for keeping this discussion going. I'm so glad you're doing this. The positive energy is just so refreshing. :)
ReplyDeleteI started listening to Demi Lovato lately. She was bullied and is working against it too. Her song Skyscraper is so moving. You can hear how hurt she was physically and emotionally, but it's great to see now after she made it through treatment/therapy how well she's doing now. :)
Hi Anette, I want to join an opinion on the issue of bullying.
ReplyDeleteMy English is a little bad, but I hope you will understand me.
From a long time I am a teacher in a vocational school ... I have encountered many stories of children. Personally experiencing each - children share for bullying in their families, circle of friends, also among classmates. So much sadness, hurt and ... impasse. Always give them advice - to confront the abuser, believing in yourself, not lose yourself. I speak to them that this is a period that will pass. That bad things happen to teach us we fight and resist life's storms.
There is an important point that I as a teacher can not miss - always try to help both sides. Usually the "bad" kids are actually very damaged people who apply -" those who become beasts escape from pain to be people". Surely they are guilty and should not forget the human, polite behavior.They also need help.
In general, the problem of bullying is very serious.
It is very difficult ... Congratulations for the initiative that you took the. I wish your words and actions to reach more people and may actually change in a positive direction.
Hi dear Anette! Can I write an email to you about my personal experience with bully? It´s very very personal for me....and I know I can trust you because you have experience with this,too...If I can, in which adress I will write? Thank you :-)
ReplyDeleteRadka
Hi there. I want to thank you for showing us your love and tenderness through these years as the lead singer of one of my favorite bands in the world. I hope you're having a great time with your children and family. I deeply understand you because as a fan of yours I can feel your pain and your happiness too. I wish you could replay this comment! that would make my day a better day to feel the energy of happiness in me. Please say hello to Nemo.
ReplyDeletewith love, Indigo.
Hey Nettie i`m 12 years old and i`m from Searbia. I love you so much.Stay strong!!!
ReplyDeletePs: When is relasing of your solo album? :) <3<3<3<3<3
Hej Anette!
ReplyDeleteFör det första måste jag säga att jag nästan grät av lycka när jag såg att du återvänt till bloggandet. Det gjorde typ min dag!! <3
Jag har själv aldrig blivit mobbad på det sättet du beskrivit i dina inlägg och vad alla andra har kommenterat (något enstaka näthat ngn gång, men annars inte), men däremot blev jag utfryst, vilket i och för sig oxå är en slags mobbning. Framförallt under högstadiet och gymnasiet.
Allt berodde helt och hållet på hur jag var som person. Jag har alltid varit en väldigt ärlig människa som alltid säger sanningen, hur illa den än låter. Det fick folk att uppfatta mig som dryg och rent av elak. Dessutom hade jag "konstig" klädstil, konstiga åsikter och gud vet allt. Därför var det inte många som ville ha med mig att göra.
Problemet var att jag trodde det var mitt eget fel. Ständigt tänkte jag: "Vad har jag gjort?" "Vad måste jag ändra?". Man ska inte behöva ändra sig som person för att människor ska tycka om en, det är aldrig ens eget fel att man blir utfryst eller mobbad! Men det var precis så jag kände, att jag inte passade in någonstans. Mitt självförtroende sjönk till botten och jag kände mig totalt värdelös.
Så småningom, strax efter studenten, slutade jag dock upp att försöka vara som alla andra, vilket mestadels berodde på att jag hittade nya vänner via ... ehum ... internet bland annat. En faktiskt via din blogg ;-) De accepterade mig som jag var/är och vi är bra vänner än idag.
Men jag är fortfarande rädd för att bli utfryst. Det är delvis därför jag gått arbetslös i över ett år, jag vågar inte söka jobb pga mitt dåliga självförtroende och rädsla för att händelserna ska upprepas. Det är hemskt att sådant som inträffade för flera år sedan kan ge men för livet.
Jag skulle kunna berätta hur mycket som helst, men det skulle kräva femtielva kommentarer till. Det här var egentligen bara en bråkdel, men liksom de flesta andra vill jag gärna dela med mig av min historia.
Ta hand om dig Anette <3
Kram!
Hello Anette!
ReplyDeleteIt IS such a beautiful morning! Yesterday it was my birthday; I'm finding today to be an extra special day, because I was able to spend my yesterday with my loved ones!
I understand, that most bullies come from a bad home; that they're abused themselves, and that they want to... assert... their dominance. People should- and are doing- show videos on what it feels like to be bullied. I mean, most people can't relate to a video; but we should think more deeply into our school lessons. I know that in my school, I've seen people being pushed around DAILY. A lot of the times I'll stand in front of the person being bullied and confront the person doing it.
Sometimes it helps; but everyone needs to learn, through words of wisdom or through watching a documentary, that bullying must STOP!
Other than that, enjoy your morning and hope to hear from you later!!
Lots of love,
Lesly
It makes me so happy,knowing that you really do care and read our stories.I'll share mine,too,since I'm at it,in the comments.
ReplyDeleteThank you so,so much.
Have a great day,
xx
Hello! Thank you so much for your answer:) Good luck
ReplyDeleteI hate bullying, been a victim of it for 15 years, getting to the point where I can't take it anymore so I ended up seeking therapy and on medication to help with panic attacks. Wish people knew what their actions can do to another. I did a stop bullying project at school actually, I enjoyed doing it. Odd girl out the movie is about a girl getting badly bullied and she tried harming her self. You should watch it, sad though :( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0433422/
ReplyDeleteHi Anette, really great to start and keep this dialogue open about bullying and how to deal with this. So wonderful to see such genuine compassion from you regarding this, especially during what has for me been a very rough time.
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind a little venting/ranting, but I would like to say as for bullying, although I am not necessarily being 'directly' bullied, I am very much scared and pretty screwed up by the situation I am in with my family life and where I live. I am not bullied so much directly, but having to listen to dreadful vitriolic comments where I am, and sometimes from someone I care about, and for it I am very much intimidated into hiding an important aspect of my life from my loved ones due to the fear of being bullied for it.
So just as someone who is in a great deal of pain due to intimidation and not so direct bullying, Thank you for trying to do something about this so less people suffer.
Love
Meg
xo
Hey Anette!
ReplyDeleteI answered on your post, too, but i can't find my comment now, maybe you haven't seen it...
I wanted to say that i so share your opinion about bullying. People finally have to see that bullying and mocking MUST stop.
I have been bullied too - suddenly there was noone kind to me anymore, everyone was mean to me and i was so desperate. I wasn't mocked "that bad" like being beaten or something, but it was like hell for me. Luckily, i had the strength to stand up to the bullies and after a while it stopped. You have to be strong - showing the bullies they hurt you is the worst thing you can do! They have to see that what they're doing is nothing else than awful.
Now, my mom is mocked at work. It is so hard to see her crying, but i try to give her as much strength and hope as i can. :(
Bullying has to stop! I thank you that you tell us your opinions, ideas, stories about this. whatever you'll do to to fight bullying, i'll support you! thanks for giving us hope and strength! Stay strong and rock on, Anette!
Love,
Eva
What disgusts me is that people continue to torment this girl on Facebook. Calling her "whore" and "slut".
ReplyDeleteIt really is nasty that people continue to say things after she's taken her own life.
Thanks for standing up for her.
She made one bad decision and it just led for everyone to take advantage of her.
Europerson: Hi! Yeah, its just horrible how people seem to have no respect whatsoever. And no shame in their bodies! This girl was 12 girl and did ONE mistake and for that she had to be followed and horrased for years! And even now, after she is gone, they continue! I can't understand that this is allowed and that youtube.com doesn't stop this! Shame! Take care now!
ReplyDeleteSimona: Thanks and yeah, it is sad. One day I will talk but not now. Take care!
ReplyDeleteThanks Anette, I know that it was horrible for you becauce for us was it, too. You are really awesome and strong person. I love you so much :*
DeleteDear Anette,
ReplyDeletewhy you don't try to write a book? You have big experience in your life, fantasy/imagination and of course you like books and literature.
Greetings from Macedonia!
Your loyal fan Eugene Hop
Eva: Hi! and thanks for your comment;=) I will never stop talking about this since its something I really find to be important. How I will continue my work we´ll see but I do believe I will write a book, do more lectures in schools and also I am thinking of opening my own blog portal or community. Take care and send strength to your mother! I understand how she feels!
ReplyDeleteRadoslava: Hi! Of course you can! Send it to: info@hagenburg.se and write that its for me;=) Take care!
ReplyDeleteDiosnnyes: Hi! And thanks for your comment;=) I will hug Nemo from you;=) Take good care now!
ReplyDeleteAnette have you heard of Dan Savage's It Gets Better Project?
ReplyDeleteIt's more directed at LGBT teens, but I think it could provide some good inspiration for helping to do deal with the issue of bullying in general.
Cheers.
NightwishHolopainen: Hi there! And thanks for your very kind words;=) I will release it next year or at the latest 2014;=) Lots of hugs and take care!
ReplyDeleteI'm looking forward for it. I love your voice.
DeleteI love this new ! I'm waiting for it.
DeleteSaga: Hej! Ja, för mig var det också mer att jag blev utfryst av tjejerna. Blev aldrig slagen etc, men att bli utfryst ger också stora ärr inom oss. Att inte få vara med, att inte förstå varför, att tro det är ngt fel på en, allt detta gör att man lätt får självförtroendeproblem och problem att lita på andra, även i vuxen ålder. Jag råder dig att gå och få hjälp av en psykolog, gärna kognitiv terapi, där du kan få hjälp att våga dig ut i arbetslivet igen. Att visa att du kan, att du vågar! För du vet ju att det inte var DIG det var fel på utan DEM!! Och de ska inte vinna;=) Stor kram till dig!
ReplyDeleteHey Anette,
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate that you are going on against bullying but we shouldn't forget that there are so many other wrongs in the world. I think child labour, child prostitution or children who grow up in war zones have had much worse experiences than most victims of bullying. I don't want to say that bullying isn't bad because I suffered from that shit, too, but I think you shouldn't forget all other bad things. But unfortunately there is too much shit going on in this world. I'm just doing my gap year after school in Australia and it makes me sad to see how they carry thousands of sheeps in some trucks as well as it makes feel so damn sad to know that there are animals get killed just because some people think hunting is a sport.
And what makes me even more bittered is that you can't do anything because it's so much that is wrong. Yeah and I even don't know why I just wrote that but it felt good :)
Felix from Germany/Australia
I'm planning to do a anti-bullying campaign here at school! I hope the principal and teachers will support me!! Perhaps I can use some of your meaningfull texts here at Blogger?
ReplyDeleteThe Dead unicorn: Hi and thanks;=) I care about you all, cause you all care about me and send me love;=) Thanks so much and yes, do share your story with us! Take good care!
ReplyDeleteLisa: Hi and thanks for your comment;=) I will watch the movie for sure! And yes, sometimes I wish for the bullies to get into the same situation so they can understand how it is to be bullied and all the stress symptoms and illnesses you get from being constantly afraid and worried. Its just a horrible thing and I so hope you soon will be able to feel better! And know that its not YOUR fault! Its theirs! Hugs and take care!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for caring Anette...
ReplyDeleteI sent you a really personal email to that address you gave me so hope you answer soon... :)
Have a good day.
Hi anette I am worried because I do not know if you've got my gift? (Sent by Niclas) :( and I wanted to ask you to be with PAIN on stage when he will be in Paris on November 13? I hope to see you this evening ;-)
ReplyDeleteThanks
And please visit http://anetteolsson.forumactif.com
Love
Isa
It is so nice to see that you really care about us. And yes bulling is an really important topic. I admire your courage to talk about this topic and to answer our story and it is so nice that you really care. I think everyone should know about this thing.And they should know how important it is to fight against bulling.
ReplyDeleteYou are a great person.
I forgot - this is a book about mocking.. a good one! kinda "hard" to read because it's about a girl telling his story, she was mocked and comitted suicide ... before her death she sends tapes to the bullies and lets them know what they've done to her. maybe you want to read it!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thirteenreasonswhy.com/
Love! Eva
Hi Nettie, and hello to you all! This topic is very interesting and it's nice that we're talking about it with our favourite singer :) -The blog itself is so interesting because you deal with almost everything- I've never been bullied but I'm a woman too, so I'm a prospective victim as all the defenseless are (that is to say women, children, teenagers). We often tend to consider such situations far and extraneous until something bad happens, so we must take more care of ourselves, because everyday it's hard for a girl or a woman to walk or travel by car alone without the constant thought that something like this can happen. The only one thing that happened to me is that sometimes I had the sensation of being followed, but I was not sure...except for one episode when I was going back home from university by train (I live 80 km far from my university) and a man that could be 50 years old had been staring at me all the time with a maniac glance, and I was very frightened but...I've never met him again! I've red all your comments and stories, and they touched me...thank you Anette for this! We must not hush, we must let our voice be heard...the simplest thing we can do is to talk about it with our friends, and then spread it the more we can! But above all, as we notice that someone is a victim, we must not turn away! Kisses to you all <3
ReplyDeleteHi Anette!
ReplyDeleteI'm totally agree with you about bullying. It is great that you talk about this problem.
I'm also agree with people who said that persons bullying others are cowards.
When I was a kid I've listened "I don't like you, you are ugly.." etc. And I didn't understand that. Why even someone who does not know me say such things?
Now I know that these people had problems with themselves.
I'm glad that you talk so openly and loudly about this difficult subject.
Take care!
Paulina
I desperately want to put part of my story on here but at the same time, it's frightening. Hopefully, I can do it.
ReplyDeleteHi Ahette :)
ReplyDeleteI support you.
I do not understand the cruelty of some people.
In my school bullying - is a means of survival.
Every day someone offends someone.So they increase the self-esteem. And for them it is normal. But I have had lung problems with confidence to the people in my town. I find it hard to meet new people, because I'm scared. This is terrible.
I am happy that you want to help people, to save them from bullying.
Good luck!
Hugs :)
P.S. sorry for my bad english
Good morning Anette! This is my first time writing to you since the split so forgive me for beating an already aging horse. I just want to say, first, that I am sad to see you leaving the band but wish you all the best for your future endeavors. Imaginaerum would not be what it is without you and you should be proud of all that you have accomplished ^.^ I hope you will have more successful projects in the future.
ReplyDeleteI also wanted to ask if it would be possible for me to write to you in a more private message about my own past and thoughts with bullying but I saw that you already gave an address for that. If it's alright, I'd like to write to you there as well.
Take care!
hello, anette i was also bullied in school. it didnt stop untill i stood up for myself. it a shame we have to resort to fighting to stop it, butt unfortunenitly thats what it takes. i tell my son who is 11 to walk away but if they hit you hit back because if you dont stand up for yourself its never going to stop. always a fan of yours brian m.
ReplyDeleteHello Anette,
ReplyDeleteI've already mentioned that I was bullied growing-up. I was the kid who ate lunch alone. I was (and still am) overweight, and that's an obvious target for anyone.
I have difficulties socializing, because I was outcast at such a young age, I never gained proper experience. I can easily sit in a room of friends for hours and not talk. I got so used to living in my own little world, that now it's hard for me to break out of it. Even when I tried to "fit-in" and wear the clothes those popular girls were wearing, I'd get teased.
I've never had a boyfriend (and I'm 27). It's horribly embarrassing and I get depressed whenever I think about it. I don't even know how to talk to guys and get them interested in me that way. My interests are music, movies, books, science, history... I'm a complete nerd. And I know I need to find a guy who is also into that kind of stuff, it's just so difficult.
To make it all worse, while being teased and bullied in school my parents were getting divorced and I felt my world was falling apart.
Anyway, sorry I've spilled so much out to you! But, it's a sensitive topic. The bullying certainly doesn't end after High School. Being bullied on the internet can be hurtful. People are very mean.
<3 Lauren
You have my sympathy. I know how it feels to still be affected by the bullying years after it has stopped. The problem doesn't stop with the bullying - it can leave mental scars. It was the same for me.
DeleteOh, and being a nerd is just really cool (I'm an archaeology student, so I'm also totally nerdy). Nerdy boyfriends may not be easy to find (again, I know the feeling), but they do exist. Stay strong! :)
Thank you, your words are so kind.
DeleteIt does leave mental scars, and unless someone has been through it themselves, they never truly understand. I have gotten better at talking to people since High School, but I always have awkward moments.
I am proud to be a nerd and try to embrace that :). I got a BA in college in History, and Classics and Ancient Mediterranean Studies. I love history very much. Hopefully I can find a nice guy who is into a lot of what I am ;).
You stay strong too! Thank you again <3 :)
Dear Lauren..
DeleteI really understand how you feel. Actually, I had a very similar story... I know it's really hard, but you can get over it!
I know you must have a lot of qualities, so just look for them! You know, the people who bullies you are just terrible -- heartless people. But you sure are not! Come on, you can face and beat that!
Be strong, Lauren.. Do as I did. Focus. Show them you're more than they think. Show them you can face the bullying. Show you are strong, and their words DO NOT affect you, because you know your value.
And, don't worry about a boyfriend. I know when you least expect, you will find someone who really loves you, JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
Be strong, Lauren. You are capable, I know. Fight them, You CAN DO IT!
Be strong, I wish you the best!
André.
Don't apologise for talking about it in detail. That's what we're here for. <3
DeleteI know all too well how it is to still be suffering from being bullied, even after it's over. It leaves mental scars, which is something that too many people can't understand.
I was a loner, too. I've been a fan of metal music for eight years and when I first got into it, I had no friends to share this with besides online friends who I couldn't speak to often as I was at boarding school (not my choice) and wasn't allowed to use the Internet. In fact, I didn't have any friends in real life until 2008.
Don't be worried about wherever you have a boyfriend or not. Whatever you do, don't jump into a relationship for the sake of having one. Wait until you meet someone who loves and accepts you the way you are.
Stay strong. I know you have it in you. <3
Annette.
ReplyDeleteThe Bullying issue is always close to my heart - i was bully for many years during primary and highschool. I changed schools in primary school to get away from the bullies.
i went to a high school in a different town to my first primary school to be away from the bullies of the first school.
In high school my best friend and I were bullies for being nerdy - we were both in the chess club, and chose to sit near the front of class... in the end it got too much for Peter, and at the age of 13, i was told on a Monday morning that Peter wouldnt be coming back as he had died over the weekend. He couldnt take it any more and taken his own life.
I recently read about one person who has beaten the bullys in a spectacular way.
Whitney Kropp, is a student in a small town in Michigan who was nominated by the class bullys in the homecoming cerimony then spread rumors about her... but the town's community has rallied round her and the story hit the US national and international news how everybody has come to support Whitney and ensure she had a fantastic day.
And it steamed from this facebook group being set up by someone who knew the family. http://www.facebook.com/SupportWhitneyKropp and support snowballed from there.
Also thanks for highlighting the Sophie Lancaster case - her family do great work in reaching kids and tackling bullying in schools and communities through the Sophie Lancaster Foundation.
The attack on Sophie and Robert happened 1.5Km from my home and it deeply effected the community here - and the effects can still be felt.
The year after you played at Bloodstock in 2008, the festival renamed the second stage in honour of Sophie.
Like too much people, the bullying was present in my schooling to 14yo. the must crazy people struck me; I could not defend myself, I was terrorized. The Amanda Todd video touch me a lot. I can't understand this free wickedness. So, I just mean : I'm with you and with all victims in this fight. Everyone in his/her life can fight against this injustice and together we can change the mentality of young people; for Amanda, for all victims...
ReplyDeleteps: sorry for my english
Hi Anette! is so nice that someone famous and that can been listen care about it!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was 11 I went to a private school, before that I studied all my life in Public school, and herein brazil, belive, is 2 completly diferent worlds... the guys of private scholl doenst look like as children of 11 years... tehy look like more like people pretend being 16 years... In teh way that they dressed, the way that they talk, the parties, and the worse, beging to bullying me, because, GOD, WITH ELEVEN I WAS A CHILD! And thsi hurt me so much Anette... I felt everyday alone... But at this darks times I discovered one of the powers that made me stronger: MUSIC! I Begined to listen to Evanescence,a nd tehy had a lot of song that says: be yourself, you dont need to feel bad because other people dont like you, your speacial, be strong that your rainbow one day will shine... It helpsme a lot.. At this time I begined to listen to Nightwish too (but, no like a fan... I Only became a fan when a Swedish singer join them.. Do you know her? haha joking :P Thanks for that Anette :) ).
And the worse bullying came from a Guy called samir... you know, at this times, I envy him, because he was preatty all girls wanted him, everybody loves and cares witth him.. But with me, I was one punching bag for bad worlds... Do you belive that one day he wrote really bad things about his mom only to blame me? But the teacher doesn't belive him... Today he is a model, and he participate for a TV SHOWW, speaking about how bad is be bullyied? I REALLY LAUGHT! A LOT! because god, how is he for speak how bad is something that he does for me?
Well, 2 years after that I leave this private school, and come back to public school, and, GOD, such big difference! In teh first day I made more friends than two years of another school! And at this time I felt comfortable to assume myself taht I'm gay, and for the first time I beging to to hold meetings and to relate lovingly! before in private school, all this never happen... And teh years go by and I felt stronger than before :) Today!
I never be bullyied again, but 1 year ago, in my technical course, a lort of people get evy with me, because I was one of best students, always had high scores... I though about change the class or school, because they begined to act very diferent with me. no swearing, but I felt alone... But I have 3 friends that was doing the final project with me, and they give me streght! And think about how strong you was as a singer for a huge band with 'complicated fans and members', the bad situations that you pass, give me streght too! Thansk anette!
Oh, and one of this guys from my grup, he had some psychological problems, and no group wanted him, only my grup. And in teh end we ddin't ahve any problem with him... He was smart, write VERRY WELL, had great ideas! And in teh end my grup present the best project, for years the teacher said! And for all this things, my school give me a scholarship near from San |Francisco, USA, for 1 month!
You know, some people think that most of bullyied people exaggerate! That them exaggerate that wasn't bullying only if people around you call you stupid, and bitch, fagg, ugly.. But I think that thee thing that describe suffering for bullying, is the way that the people get hurt... It doesn't matter if tehy 'only' call you fagg, or the hit you... the guy will always bleed inside, and this need to STOP!
Sorry from this HUGE TEXT, and sorry for any english mistake! Take care Anette! God bless you and your family!
I understand the difference between being at a private school and a public school. When I was young I went to a Christian private school, and all the older kids would bully the younger ones, so yeah, I'd get bullied a lot.
DeleteLater on we moved and I was going to go to a public school, and I was scared they were going to be mean, but they were actually pretty nice. I was bullied by this one kid though, but I didn't go to that school for long; my parents wanted us homeschooled. Not because of bullying, that's just what they wanted.
I didn't get bullied much after that, since I only knew the neighborhood kids, but sometimes my best friends would bully this one boy because he was different, and I stook up for him, even though I thought I lost my only two friends. I've always played/talked with the kids nobody really liked. They can't seem to see them for who they really are, and it makes me very sad. To this day there are still people that a few of my friends, well, more people I know, bully, and I always fight back for that person, whether that person's there or not. I can't stand it one bit.
Thank you, Anette, for all that you're doing!
Hi Anette!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, thank you so much for blogging about the problem of bullying and paying attention to it. As a victim of bullying myself, this is something that truely warms my heart.
I was bullied most through most of my years in basic school. It culminated when I was 13-15 years old and even now when I'm 22 years old I'm still sometimes affected by that experience though I haven't been bullied for years. It scary how painful bullying can be. I my case the school didn't do much to stop it. One of the teachers even agreed with the other children in my class, that it was my own fault that I was being bullied because I looked "different". My parents were talking to the school several times without any result and my mother once started crying in front of my teacher because of the things I was going through. Then the school decided to solve the problem by giving me private conversations with a teacher where we talking about how I could become more like the other children, since I was only being bullied because I was different. No one talked to the other children about stopping it. Apperently I was the problem instead of those who were bullying me. In the end I actually started to believe them untill I attended high school and discovered that I was actually quite normal.
I don't wish for anyone to go through the same things, but unfortunately it's happening everyday. I think it's important to talk about it and pay attention to the problem. So thank you once again. You have my support!
- Greetings from Nanna in Copenhagen :)
Hey Anette
ReplyDeleteFor almost as far back as I am able to remember I have been bullied. In Kindergarten and the early years of school I was bullied for wearing glasses, being naturally blonde, being good in school etc. It did not stop till I was out of school by the age of 16, so for more than ten years I felt hated for being the person that I am.
Being bullied each day made me grow up way too fast mentally and already by the age of 7-8 I had thoughts about killing myself, imagining myself running out in front of a truck and get crushed. Not only because the bullying was unbearable in itself, but also because my parents were despaired about being bullied for no apparent reason, so I wanted to relieve them from their pain.
At some point I just accepted that I was not meant to be treated in a good way.
When I came out of ground school (first 10 years of school here in Denmark) I went to a gymnasium and suddenly found out that people were able to treat me nicely. It sent me into a spiral of bad self-esteem, because the bullying in ground school suddenly seemed so pointless. I became depressed and angry, which led to self-harm and even more suicide thoughts. I did not want to do my school work, and this was the time I became emo/punk as a reaction to how I felt inside.
I dropped out of school two times, before starting on a new gymnasium in 2011 where I decided to do a great job at school, get good grades and get on with my life.
Today, by the age of 22, I trust almost no one fully. I have a very low self-esteem and I believe almost no compliment I get for any of my work, be it creative work or school work, because a voice in my head keeps telling me that they are only doing it because they pity me or because they want to exploit me. And it is horrible because I really want to believe them, but the voice never leaves me alone.
However, I do believe that all these years of bullying have made a stronger person, and that there will always be a part of me wanting to prove people wrong when they say there is something that I am not good enough to do. Something I see in both my mother, my aunt and my grandma.
My grandma also recently said to me, that the scars that my soul has got from all the bad years, are battle scars, which I should wear proudly, because they are a proof that I fought and survived.
And if I could go back, I would not change myself in any way, because despite the bad things, I have also turned into a strong woman with an independent mind and a courage to speak my opinion no matter how people may react.
Thank you for making this post. People need to know how bad bullying can be and what it does to the victims. May whatever higher power exists bless you.
I was morbidly obese from the age of 13 due to being put on medication that made me gain a huge amount of weight. When I started school a month before turning 14, I was immediately bullied because of how huge I was. I was at a boarding school at the time so I could never escape it apart from being able to go home during the weekends and the holidays. The staff didn't care. Nobody cared. I was completely alone. I started cutting heavily and soon, I was doing it every single day. It gave me something else to focus on, and it still does to this day. I'm bisexual and even got told by one of my teachers that I was trying to come off as cool by thinking girls are hot and that I was deluded in front of everyone in my class. I wanted to be murdered there and then. I tried to kill myself on multiple occasions because of it and always woke up devastated that I had failed. To this day, I wish I succeeded. Waking up only to realise you failed is devastating.
ReplyDeleteBullying still affects me to this very day, and I wish more people would understand that the effects of bullying last for the rest of that person's life. I don't know if I have any right to call myself a survivor. I don't feel like one at all. I truly don't. I just don't want to feel anymore. Nobody would notice if I was gone.
Your story really touches me... you had to bear so much, i think nobody would have been 'stronger' or could have managed this hard situations. Your ARE a survivor in a way, you are strong, always think of that. otherwise, you wouldn't have survived. i think that - though you tried to kill yourself - you are a wonderful and strong person. somebody or something must have thought 'no, this girl won't die!' think of it! i don't know if you believe in god... but in my opinion, nobody is living 'in vain'. you have had hard times, i see, and you can't believe how much i respect you for managing it, even if it was unbelievably hard. maybe you can understand what i mean: you tried to kill yourself, but something kept you alive! and this 'something'is probably even you.
Deleteand no matter if somebody is bisexual or not - this does not matter at all when it comes up to the question how much somebody is 'worth'. those persons who bullied you are awful, nothing else. try to leave them behind. be strong.
i wish you all the best and that good times are coming up for you.
Eva
I was really touched by your story, because I myself was very big when I was in school. Our teachers never cared either, so the bullies even did things to me during class like sending me pictures of a pig or a hippo and writing my name next to it. I was also cutting myself and I still do it when I have my panic attacks. I know how it feels to want to kill yourself every day, I tried it two times but I was too big of a coward to fulfill it.
DeleteYou are never alone, there are many more like you who suffer in silence. I am one.
I wish I could save everyone from bullying, and so do everyone who read and write here on Anette's blog.
We are all needed and special, and you are a survivor of a horrible incident.
I am also numb after all I've been through but you can't let that stop you. Life is a wonderful thing, don't let past events stop you. Even though it hurts.
Don't give up :)
Big greetings from the deepest of my heart!
//Ellinor
Schools have bullying policies because they're required to but they never seem to follow them. Since then, I have lost weight but not sadly, not through exercise or healthy eating. Through an eating disorder.
DeleteTwo care staff at school actually told me to kill myself. Being bullied by those at school is horrible enough as it is but when it's a staff member, it's even worse. I did report it but nothing was done about it.
It's heartbreaking how many people suffer in silence because so many people don't understand it and/or don't care to do anything about it. Thanks to all of you here (especially Anette), I don't feel so alone anymore. <3
Oh my god... Do you still go to school - and have to suffer from those bullies? This is just horrible :(
Deletebut think of my words! Stay strong! Nobody on this blog is lonely,it is a safe place for us all. kinda family - so don't ever think nobody would care of you. you're not alone! <3
Hugs, Eva
Luckily, I don't. I left in July 2009 after being physically attacked by having a jam jar thrown at my head in May that year, which caused me to need stitches. I had already decided to leave anyway but the attack set that decision in stone, especially because nothing was done about it besides suspending my attacker for two days. I was off for two weeks trying to recover and ended up missing two exams. Not even the strongest painkillers worked for me during that time.
DeleteMy dad actually regrets ever sending me there in the first place. He doesn't hold many regrets but sending me there is one of them. I still have nightmares about it.
I can't believe noone helped you - you know the staff or so - this could have killed you! I can't believe it.... I'm speechless.
DeleteI am happy you are physically ok by now.
Take care of you...
anette,
ReplyDeletei honestly wish i knew about nightwish before i left school because of bullies, what pissed me off the most is that the teachers staff or the rest of the school system do anything to make me better which pissed my parents off!due to the bullies i ended up becoming depressed and sucidal and had to go into the hospital 4 TIMES !! im trying to get back on my fee and back to school to get a ged but im scared of what the road will lead from here! you pretty much made me a happy person again thanks anette your a lifesaver to us all!
Thank you for your wonderful reply Eva. <3 This blog has truly become a safe place for me to come to.
ReplyDeleteThis,this and this.
Delete<3
Hey Anette :)
ReplyDeleteI was bullied from an extremely young age. My mother is a manic depressive due to her abusive, heroin addicted, rapist of an ex-boyfriend. And my brother was also undiagnosed with ADHD and Autism. I had to look after them for 11 years of my life (I was what they call a Young Carer, if you want to you can watch the documentary I was on about it: http://vimeo.com/14701711) and I got bullied because sometimes I had to go to school with no food or unclean clothes or I couldn't even go in because my mother was too depressed or too manic to leave.
I was always "different" from the others. When I went to Middle School even the teachers bullied me! I remember one day I got pushed down the stairs and sometime came up to me all: "Oh my god, are you okay?!" and when she saw it was me she went: "Oh, it's you." and walked off. I started self-harming when I was ten, and tried to commit suicide 3 times when I was eleven, two times when I was twelve, once when I was thirteen...Then I had a time where I actually started to make friends. And then I fell severely ill with my Bipolar. I jumped in front of a car in 2010, but they stopped before it killed me. I have had three relapses since then. I started self harming again in march of this year after I was told by someone that I should just kill myself and "Get it over with so we can all move on with our lives!"
But over the past fourteen years of being bullied, I've grown to realize that I'm stronger than them and I don't let what's happened to me get to me (unless I'm ill, then it really does hit me) And since then, I've helped hundreds of people both online and real life, I find comfort in the fact that I'm there for at least one person, that they don't have to go through what I had to go through alone :)
You're an amazing woman, Anette :)
Hi there!
ReplyDeleteAnette, thanks for doing this posts against bullying, it's such a sweet thing from you :) Hope this turns into a kind of project to help people who has suffered this.
Personally, I can say I almost had been bullied in elementary school by some girls who called themselves "my friends". I was a totally nerd and my notes where the best of the classroom, so they started to spread ugly rumours about me, and many of my classmates excluded me. Fortunately I did front on that girls and proved that I didn't care any of the lies they said about me, and found new really friends who supported me, so the bullying stopped :)
To all of you who are passing trough this hell, I wanna say: Please, be strong! No one person has the right to make you feel bad with yourselves, unless you let them do. Sometimes you can feel alone on this world but of course you're not, there will be always someone who can help you to end with the bullying :D
Hi Anette!
ReplyDeleteYou know, when I seek courage or inspiration I do listen to songs like "Rest Calm" or "Song of Myself", and it's kinda strange to use them in order to speak with you, the singer of these songs.
Anyway bullying was an integral part of my difficult childhood. I grew up in Foggia, an average city in the south of Italy, in a rotten and bleak district.
In places like this conformism rules unrivaled, and if you try to think differently or you don't obey the rules bad people will punish you.
That's what happened to me: I've always been an alternative guy, I used to have long black hair and wear black clothes, people looked at me with conpempt, but I could bear it, until that day Came. I was nothing more than a child, playing football on the road, when an older boy, followed by two friends of him, asked me to play. They didn't look like nice persons, so afraid I said yes. After the match they didn't return me the ball, thus, I asked them to give it back to me, they ignored me, but I insisted; the leader stared at me, with a mocking smile on his face, then he said:" I'm going to show you why people fear us". After that they hit me mercilessly, until i was lying on the ground, bleeding. The only thing I remember next this horrible act of violence is my mother's eyes in tears. Thereafter I was afraid of everything, even of just getting out from home.
Now things are changed: I have many friends and people respect me, but, nevertheless, some nights these terrible memories still haunt me.
Also: these continuos struggles made me choleric, I get angry easily and the ones I love blame me, it's pretty frustrating. Sometimes I feel like nobody really understand me, and my only refuge is music, I'll exploit this situation in order to thank you: thank you for having been an imagineer, that album took me in another, magical and marvellous world, wherin I'm free, and thank you for being that humble as well, you're wondeful Anette.
Hi Anette!
ReplyDeleteYou know, when I seek courage or inspiration I do listen to songs like "Rest Calm" or "Song of Myself", and it's kinda strange to use them in order to speak with you, the singer of these songs.
Anyway bullying was an integral part of my difficult childhood. I grew up in Foggia, an average city in the south of Italy, in a rotten and bleak district.
In places like this conformism rules unrivaled, and if you try to think differently or you don't obey the rules bad people will punish you.
That's what happened to me: I've always been an alternative guy, I used to have long black hair and wear black clothes, people looked at me with conpempt, but I could bear it, until that day Came. I was nothing more than a child, playing football on the road, when an older boy, followed by two friends of him, asked me to play. They didn't look like nice persons, so afraid I said yes. After the match they didn't return me the ball, thus, I asked them to give it back to me, they ignored me, but I insisted; the leader stared at me, with a mocking smile on his face, then he said:" I'm going to show you why people fear us". After that they hit me mercilessly, until i was lying on the ground, bleeding. The only thing I remember next this horrible act of violence is my mother's eyes in tears. Thereafter I was afraid of everything, even of just getting out from home.
Now things are changed: I have many friends and people respect me, but, nevertheless, some nights these terrible memories still haunt me.
Also: these continuos struggles made me choleric, I get angry easily and the ones I love blame me, it's pretty frustrating. Sometimes I feel like nobody really understand me, and my only refuge is music, I'll exploit this situation in order to thank you: thank you for having been an imagineer, that album took me in another, magical and marvellous world, wherin I'm free, and thank you for being that humble as well, you're wonderful Anette.
I'm sorry for the spam, I dindn't do it on purpose... My internet sucks XD
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi my dear,
ReplyDeleteI'm sure seeing us sharing our stories and helping us each other make you feel you did the right thing but keeping your blog. Doesnt it?
Now its time for me to tell you mine.
When I entered school at 11 or 12 years ago I was stressed yes, it was all new, new professors, a bigger place etc etc but maybe I was naive but I never thought OTHERS would be THE problem.
Yes I wasnt and Im still not the slimmest girl in the world. It has always been a big big problem to me but why was it a problem to others?!Its not their body so wtf?! But apparently it was enough to bullied me. Oh yes it was!
It first started with olders girls who looked at me from top to bottom, then they were talking about me. Then they gave me awful "nicknames" wich they were screaming so loud that all the school could hear it and then everybody could laught at me. During every single playtime there they were, screaming and laughing.
And of course this gave some ideas to others so gradually it gain a lot of others people and now instead of only 3 girls it was tens and tens persons...I guess you can imagine how hard it was. And it wasnt only nicknames,it was also cruel words like "don't stay in front of the sun, you're making an eclipse" stuffs like that.
After they started to ruin my stuffs,like my bag, clothes etc etc and the school didnt care at all, it was "just some quarrels between children".
Even my friends turned into enemies.
After, cause it wasnt enough they all started to called me at home telling me means stuffs, insulted me, threated me etc etc...
Then I realised a lot of mens wanted to add me on MSN (hotmail) and I wondered why? Cause they were not supposed to know my email adress, escially cause they were older so not at school! So I accepted there requests and asked "how did you get my adress?" and they ALL said "well it was on that website with your photo".
Yes, they did put a photo of me on a porn website with my email/MSN adress pretending it was me wanted to meet some ramdom guys (well apprently not just "meet"). How on earth is it possible to be so mean to a person that you don't even know?!
First I kept it for myself, but then it was so hard that I couldnt kept it and I told my mother (not about that website) but she said "no no fixed it by yourself, i won't be here forever" actually she thought it wasnt serious. But one day I said "I don't want to go to school anymore" then she realised YES it was serious. She did everything she could to make it stop, calling the school but they never wanted to do anything, calling the parents, meeting them, showing them the phone call list (the offical one) but their parents never believed it, it was "my fault", I was the bad one in their children's stories.
One day I been attacked by an older boy without any reason.I fall down and couldnt get up. My parents wanted me to go to the police but I didnt wanted cause if I did then it would have been even worse! If they knew I went to the police what would have they done? Kill me?
So I didnt say anything and now I still have back problems and have to go to the Physiotherapists twice a week.
All I had to go and the only thing wich worked was to wait 4 years to leave school and go to high school. But before entering high school I was SO afraid to be bullied again again. But THANKS GOD, it all stopped there. Of course there were still badass to stared at me as if I was the awfullest thing they've ever saw, but bullying was over.
Yes we have to be strong, cause the world is so tough, people are so mean.
Protect your children the best you can. At least they have their two parents to care about them and this is a real chance. I know what I'm talking about as I don't really a father, he just don't care but I have at least my mother who always did eveything for me =)(I have to continue to a second comments as it too long)
(hope you received the first part of my comment but as it was too long I have to continue here) :
ReplyDeleteAnd yes a book could be a good idea but it can reach enough people I think. It have to be bigger, like an association against bullying. There you could go from school to an other and shared your story, give advice, even took some volunteers like us to shared it too. It have to STOP!
But I think its sadly a never ending problem, but still we can try to save a maximum of people.
Well hope you read me till the end!
I love you Anette, my hero.
<3
Hi Anette! I thought I'd share my story with you
ReplyDeleteI think it's great that you're writing about bullying. The last couple of years it's been a topic that's gotten a lot of attention, and I hope it will be even more highlighted in the media in the future. Sadly, I grew up in the early 90's and bullying was a topic that everybody shut their mouthes about.
I was bullied in 10 years. It started out when I was in first grade. This boy who was in 4th grade, really did mean things to me. Once he pushed me off a bike when I was riding it. He always yelled mean things to me, even in front of teachers. But they didn't care. But the worst thing he ever did was that he locked me up in a box outside school and put a heavy stone on top, and I wasn't strong enough to get out so I missed class. And you know who got the blame? Me. The teachers blamed me for ending up in that box. But the worst thing he did to me, was that he and some other kids lured me into this bicycle shed, and when I got inside, someone locked the door, and they all threw stones at me. I got wounds in my face and bruises on my body. Outside, the teachers saw it but didn't interfere. I'll remind you that this happened when I was in 1th or 2nd grade.
At school, I was one of the loners. I didn't have many friends, because they all talked shit about me behind my back. I knew back there that I was different. I didn't have the same interests as them, and therefore I had to pay for it. Every single day, something bad happened and it really tore me apart as a person.
When I was 12 years old, I wanted to commit suicide. I was home alone, and I stood ready with the kitchen knife. I had enough. Not only did this at school, but there were issues in my family. It was a living hell to be honest. I chose not to cut my pulse, because I could not go through with it. And to this day I am glad I didn't do it.
For years I struggled with depression after these events in my childhood. And in 9th grade I had the most hard depression I ever had. Which lead me to Nightwish, and music in general. I can't play any instruments, but I can feel the passion in it and it calms me because so many feelings can be expressed in it. In 9th grade, was the second time I wanted to commit suicide. But then I realized that my life has a value. Maybe not for the people ruining it for me, but I knew I was..someone.
Music taught me that. And through Nightwish+many other bands, I learned how to deal with being "different" and accept who I am. I've found people in my life who likes me for who I am. I know now what I'm doing with my life, and that I make a difference for someone. Thank you Anette for taking up this topic. You are amazing, and a huge inspiration to me.
I spent my entire childhood, and throughout my teenage years, being bullied constantly in varying degrees. Sometimes it was just name calling, other times it was physical. I have been overweight my whole life, and because people in general are just cruel, the kids in my classes latched on to that and gave me Hell every single day. My parents never had a lot of money, so I never had designer clothes or fancy shoes, backpacks, etc. I had the same hairstyle from the time I entered kindergarten until I graduated. I never really fit in anywhere, and because of that, I allowed myself to be severly taken advantage of by people who gave me even the most negative of attention, and those experiences have completely shaped who I am today. I won't go into detail, as this is certainly not the place, but I can say from personal experience that bullying and abuse is something that never leaves you, no matter how much time has gone by. And in all honesty, even at 31 years old, I am still the victim of "bullying" because people never grow out of that, and I don't quite fit in with a lot of my coworkers and am "shunned" for being different.
ReplyDeleteHi Anette :)
ReplyDeleteI want to say thank you for doing this. It means a lot to me that as one of my role models and my favourite singer, you aren't just a great musician but also an amazing person who is conscious of so many things outside of just your own private world.
My experiences with bullying have not been nearly as bad as some of the other ones that have been written about in the comments. I feel bad for all those people, but at the same time good because we have a place to share our experiences so that we can heal together.
I was taught at home by my mother for the first years of school, and when I was 11 and I went to school for the first time, it was very hard. Since then and throughout high school people continued to bully me for stupid reasons: having long hair, who I thought was attractive and even for getting good grades! Things were really bad, i had no friends and i decided to switch schools. Bullying is such a pointless thing and I believe that the only reason for it is that people are not happy with themselves and their own lives. Bullying is just a Terrible way of expressing those feelings.
It is so hard to be bullied in the day and then come home to a house where parents or siblings are fighting each other. My own experiences are mostly over now, and I have some close friends. Some of them, by the way, i would not have met if not for you and Nightwish :) I find that a lot of nightwish fans are very nice people.
Thank you again for doing this, it means so much to me and other people.
Two things: 1, can I still mail something to the Hagenburg address? I have something very special for you and if I mail it I want to make sure you will get it. 2, I feel so privileged to have seen you in Toronto in September. I waited for 11 hours in line and was in the very front row. To you, it was probably just another show but to me it was something incredibly special that I will remember for my whole life.
Thank you for being such a great person!
Love,
Claire
this very topic of bullying infuriates me to the depths of my soul.i am of hispanic heritage and in our culture its not so uncommon for men to be abusive to their families i guess its kinda common and many people try not to pay attention to it i am the oldest of my father's first marriage.i was always expected to look after my little brother when i myself was a child. i got beaten severely for everything that he did wrong.i grew up in a very abusive alcohol infused environment i was always told i was an accident that i was never supposed to be born (i was born a girl my dad wanted a boy)
ReplyDeleteto top it off with the problems i had at home
i was constantly bullied at school because i was the quiet nerdy looking kid with hand me down clothes from kids in the neighborhood... kids i didn't even know in school would pick on me pull my hair try to trip me i grew very resentful and angry with all of this.one day in 7th grade a girl i had in my class that had been my constant tormentor since i started school infuriated me to the point where i got up from my seat and i beat the crap out of her i was suspended for defending myself and the teacher didn't even bother to stick up for me since he's been witnessing the torment I've been put through since the beginning of the year. i had reached my point where i gave up hope i didn't care what happened to me anymore
i became very reckless and angry i hated everyone. in high school it didnt get any better i only had 1 true friend and even then we drifted apart im not sure if she became embarrassed to know the school outcast or what but i guess i will never know now will i?
i started cutting myself my grades suffered i started ditching until i completely dropped out of high school i felt defeated.i felt worthless i tried committing suicide on my 15 birthday i woke up in a hospital not knowing where the hell i was that same day i tried walking out of the hospital.i didn't learn anything from these experiences i started partying and doing drugs i was 18 years old when i was sexually assaulted by an acquaintance of a friend of mine after this experience my rage knew no bounds i was dying inside i was angry i hated everyone i blamed god for giving me this life out of all of these events that have happened in my life i am grateful that one day it suddenly hit me its up to me to change my fate i got up from the depths of my despair and rage and got my G.e.d. around this time i met the love of my life my boyfriend of five years he helped me heal from all this emotional damage. he encouraged me go to college (im the first one to go to college in my family)i am in my fourth year of college and this year i graduate with a bachelor in science. i can now say i feel more myself than i ever have... i still suffer from nightmares about all these events and get anxiety attacks with onset bouts of depression but at least now i can see the light at the end of the tunnel.Im not going to say that i still trust people because i honestly dont trust anyone that is very limited.i dont like physical affection like hugging it scares the crap out of me due to my traumatic experience when i was 18 im not a social outgoing person im quiet and stick to myself.
i guess these experiences shaped who i am and its hard to say that things will get better but they one day will i know that some people have worse situations than the one i had and it breaks my heart that there is so much bad in this world because it reminds me of being that child i used to be the nerdy looking quiet kid with the hand me downs.i dont know what made me write about my experience but im glad i did i feel like some of the weight is off my shoulders.
please keeping doing what you are doing Annette you are truly inspiring
with much love and respect
hi anette
ReplyDeleteat first a want to apologise for my bad english.:)
it is very importaint to discus bullying because it is something that will last and destroy so many lives. The last mankind can do is stay on it trying to stop it. And now the days with the internet it is so much easier to bully and for the victim to follow where they go. especially now that it is important to sit on top and on time to intervene. here in the Netherlands is also little attention in schools. Very often I saw from my kitchen window as a child of the slide was pushed, beaten or subtracted from the bike. And what if I went to tell the teachers said oh we can not all be watching. But then walking only 12 children in the schoolyard. When I ask what consideration is given in the manual they say: we say when we see that you can not do. That's enough right? NO IT'S NOT!!
I'm bullied for years. and not for fun. It started in elementary school with cursing like you're fat, you're a pig, you are stupid, we want you here ect ...... I'm beaten, kicked, bitten, pushed, scratched, notes in my locker, drawings by the school, really the whole package.
in group 6, I was sick I was so tired that I could almost nothing. I was very pale, did not come out, at almost. I could only go to school half days. then handles the teachers and the children talked about their behavior. but that made everything worse if I had to walk home from school, they were waiting for me. they beat me up, pushed me in dog poop ect. when I was 11 I became depressed. but I had a bright spot in the future. we were moving to another city to a new neighborhood. Only that took not good. We moved a few bullies too. At my new school (high school) started all over again I had a few friends but who dared to do anything. I just never thought that it could have been much worse than it already was. Internet came increasingly into view and all I was doing was being watched. And if I did nothing were spreading lies. My school results deteriorated rapidly. I am gifted so my parents were angry. I was already a few levels dropped and it went bad. When the "normal" bullying boring was had the bullies what news came. Some guy from that group raped me and lie spread that I easily into bed was. Tales appeared on the internet and if I so much as the dog was walking, I was called a whore, slut, bitch, easy to fuck. From people I do not even know, but their me apparently. I was placed in another class and the first thing said to me was it was, he I've heard that you can properly suck empty local search??? teacher stood there but there was only laughed. raping went by and among the lerearen had known what was going on. nobody did anything.On my 14th I made a suicide attempt. I had 90 heart tablets eaten. I was found by a father of a neighborhood girl. Who took me to the hospital where they have pumped my stomach empty. I have located a couple of days.
I stopped going to school I came only when there was an exam. On my 15th I passed.
ReplyDeleteI was severely depressed, anxious, very closed and almost always alone. I cried until no more tears left. when I just went to the market and I a dark alley was withdrawn by one of those guys and he tried to rape me again I was so angry that I have broken his wrist. I was searched by the police I was blamed for everything. when I broke and I told everything. I have received no punishment. But the bullies not because I would have been unstable. there were children protection enabled, I began to cut myself went to alcohol and drugs. until I no longer looked like myself. I was removed from her home and put on a communal group for girls. there was fighting for a spot in the group. cutting continued alcohol was not to come but there was a lively trade in medicines.bullying sat on another level, it was there cause you could survive. I've seen friends are hanging because they do not fit into the group. I have one and a half years in jail without help without visiting because my parents did not visit. When I was 18 I came "free" I went back home got back into my pattern of drug and alcohol cases. it did not matter as long as I could go but death.
in that year, my life has changed dramatically. me on the 18th I was pregnant, I immediately stopped taking drugs and drinking. i got my stuff packed and I just left. on 13 february 2008 my beautiful son was born. I am married to the father of my baby and finally got as far as can my life in order. I live in a different city. I started all over again. I have a happy family and a lot of new friends.
I wear still the scars of my past literally and figuratively. But I hide it anymore, I'm not proud of it, but if asked is, one can get an honest answer. I will spend the rest of my life have a manual. But I go ahead and I'm proud!!!
BULLYING MUST OBTAIN AN END. because there is more broken than to the eye can be seen.
I have long thought about whether I should post this, but I can show what I have overcome.
much love
I'm so sorry about what happened to you. Your story is so heartbreaking.
DeleteI'm so happy your life has changed for the better and that you now have the happiness you deserve. :)
Hi Anette,
ReplyDeleteSometimes i read your blog and i see you're against bullying and that's great! I've been bullied too and that time was horrible for me,even it's just words... words can do a LOT to a person.
Nowadays i'm sometimes still negative to myself but's going better at time :)
Here in the Netherlands we had a program on TV about bullying and there are abults who wear the scars and gonna meat the persons who bullied and talk about it. Sometimes it work out well but sometimes the bulliers are worse...(even on TV) How sad is that :(
But Anette, have you heard of this method?
http://www.kivakoulu.fi/there-is-no-bullying-in-kiva-school
In the Netherlands they do a test and it's working pretty well. Maybe you can support this cause if you like this method.
I'm not a person who write everyday here ;) but if i write i wanna say something and i hope you
take time for this (if you have time ;) ) and i hope you like it :)
Take care of yourself.
Love,Albertine (Netherlands)
Been reading your bullying stories and i cannot help but remember my own shitty times being bullied at elementary school. Thankfully i was one of the freaking tough ones to break and i bounced back up nastily ending up as one of the leaders in high school. So i have no real bad feelings out of it as i rolled through the tough times and came out on the winning side. Let's just say that my egotism was satisfied so i put it behind me. BUT reading all this now i cannot help but feel deep fear for my daughter. She is 4 now and attending pre-school and i don't want to see happening to her what happened to me or to all of you. And to you Annette. Maybe she won't be as hard as me, maybe she'll break. I am trying to prepare her but the fear lingers......and it is making me shake.....
ReplyDeleteHi, did my hacktivity today on FB and now I urge people to do the same. There is a lot of people with good intentions who created endless R.I.P. pages, however, most are not constantly monitored by creators and still have unmentionable pictures loaded at the walls by third parties and there is people facing this bullies but they are exposing themselves. So what I ask is for you guys to log in and start reporting or sueing this nasty material, they might not delete 'em but if there is enough activity we might saturate FB staff and force them to do something. You will notive while reporting a picture in some jurisdictions there is no "bulling" option, so chose the closest category, doesn't matter if it's wrong. Remember this girl while doing this and do it for those exposing themselves. Me alone cannot do much, there is a lot of work that must be done.
ReplyDeleteWell, half of my reports were revised but they said something like "we reviewd your warning but the element were not erased", and so I am waiting for the complete list to be filled, it might take a few days because they are very slow and then i'll post it in every RIP page and every forum i know as "I reported this **** and FB did nothing about it" In the mid term this means nothing but if thousands of people do the same, well, it might have an unexpected outcome, let's put it this way, FB is a NASDAQ holding and bad publicity means heavy loses, FB has a big role into this mess for having such a poor policy, well, it does have but they don't apply it.
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