Good morning everyone and hope you had a really good sleep;=)
I am answering your comments and Elmas wrote such a good comment that I want to publish it here cause what she writes is true, even if it´s so hard, that we need to find strength in ourselves to stand up against them being mean to us. Believe in the good within ourselves and try to ignore the bad people say. Very hard but also the best way to cope with these things!
Thanks Elmas for your wise words!
This story, just like every other story that revolves around this subject, is awfully bitter, sad and crying for justice and an attitude. It's sad to see how just one foolish mistake made by a child can lead to a chain of such unfortunate events, bad relationships and ruined lives, in the end. The world can be such a horrible place to certain people sometimes. But I think, even if nobody is there for us to love and support us, we still have to be the ones saving ourselves. We must be strong, believe in ourselves and everything good that we have within, show it to the world and just ignore everything bad that anyone has to say or do. I know it's an awful hard thing to do, I know this Amanda girl had even stopped having friends at all, but we are never totally left alone in this world. There's always our parents, there's a sister, a cousin, a pet. There's OURSELVES, and nobody is more important than this. I believe, no matter how dark the road, it will eventually come up at a light.
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I've never been bullied so i don't know how it is but to me absolute anthem of bullying is song by rise against - make it stop. it's great that lot of rock bands get involved to help kids and show them that they are not alone at the same time adult can be more aware of the problem. here is a link to the video if you would like to check their song (hopefuly it will work. i'm typing from my phone)
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XP4clbHc4Xg&feature=youtube_gdata_player
I just watched the video. So inspiring! Thanks so much for sharing it with us.
DeleteAnette,
ReplyDeleteI want to say thank you. You saved my life last night. I'm going to be honest, suicide has been on my mind lately,and I was going to follow through with those thoughts until I read these bullying blogs... I commented on one questioning if I should leave my abusive dad, and so many people replied so I did. You and these people have gave me hope and strength, and now I'm moving in with my aunt. Thank you for putting this blog up... you and a few others who commented have truly saved my life, because without this blog I would've never left my dad,and already would have killed myself. Through you I have learned to find strength in myself.
Thank you for being there when I needed you most.
Brianna
I think I can say the same thing almost. The other night I was thinking about harming myself,but thanks to Anette, Sun and my best friend, I am far from wanting to do anything to myself.
DeleteI did read your previous comments, and having seen a friend of mine who is trapped within an abusive family with a father who beats her and psychologically abuses her, I am so glad to hear you have had the courage and the means to get out of there and be somewhere safe.
Here's hoping things not only get better for you from here on it, but rather things get absolutely great for you!
Brianna, I am so proud of you you left your dad! Look forward now and leave behind the things that hurt you. You're a strong person, keep that in mind! Never let your dad harm you again! I wish you all the best for your future. Stay as strong as you are!
DeleteEva
Brianna: How great that you move out now! And how really, really amazing that you did not kill yourself, I´m so glad. Suicide is like one of the worst things one can do - because there´s dying before death, and dying is terrible and in suicide-cases usually painful. SO glad that Anette prevented you frm doing this!
DeleteI´m wishing you the best, be well at your aunt´s, believe in yourself and know that our beloved Anette is out there, lighting up the darkest places.
Brianna, I'm so happy for you!
DeleteI read your story, but unfortunately I had some problems and then couldn't comment... I'm sorry for this, but now I see that you made the right thing, so I'm really happy!
I know your life should have been terrible.. But now it's over, my friend. Now you'll have a new life with your aunt, and I know it'll be better.
I know it's not that simple just forget about the past, but I also know you will be succeed.
Remember we all are here, ready to help you when you need :)
I wish the best for you. Have a wonderful life dear.. You really deserve it...
And, Nettie, I must thank you too. As you can see, you saved Brianna's life. You must be really proud! I love this blog, and the power it has. Just like it helped to change Brianna's life, I know it'll change another people's lifes too...
Have a wonderful life, Brianna, and be REALLY REALLY happy!!! :D
Kisses,
André.
That's right... Nice words, Elmas! :)
ReplyDeleteGood morning dear Anette and dear bloggers!
ReplyDeleteWhat Elmas said is so true. Theoretically, there is no one else with whom you have to live your entire life, but yourself. Of course, you choose to share your life with others, like family and friends, but in the end, the only one that can make you truly happy is yourself.
You have to be the first one to love and accept yourself and make yourself happy, and only then you can share this with other people who will love you back and enhance your happiness.
Always love yourself and be proud of yourself, you DESERVE it! Never think that you don't deserve to live or to be loved, because you do! Everyone does!
So start with yourself, and continue with others.
Hugs and love from Austria to all of you beautiful people here on this blog!
Sabine
Nettie, thank you for publishing Elmas comment. It´s really good and also hard as you say but true.
ReplyDeleteI´m sad because when I was a kid, I was not brave enough to do anything when I saw new girl in our class having a hard time cause bullying. I also have some experience about bbullying but those are not so bad that the new girl had to face almost every day. I´m so happy that the girl is now days survivor, but her road has not been easy. She used drugs etc and needed lots of therapy before getting better. BUT I know that her wounds are still deep.
I really wanna teach to my own kids (hope having first one soon) that how important it is to respect every person and individuality and no one should not get bullied ever. And if my kids will see bullying, they will do something about it: Telling me, some other adult or if brave enouhg defend the one who are bullied, saying how wrong it is. Sometimes it´s enough that one person says that it´s not okay and don´t just stand by when bullying happens.
Yes, let´s spread a light to the world and stand up against bullying.
Lovestrenght hugs to you all <3
Elmas words are beautiful and I can only agree that we are never alone. That was the reason that I wrote my own story in another comment yesterday - to tell others that they are not alone. I know it sometimes feels like being left all alone with no one to turn to. When I was 14 I felt like my best (and only) friend was my cat. However sweet that cat is, I was in a terrible situation. Even though I'm not bullied anymore I will always know how it feels to be in the situation and I will always have deep sympathy for those who are going through the same things. We need to help each other to stay strong ourselves! :)
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I'm overwhelmed to see so many comments on this blog. When I was younger I was bullied a lot on the internet, so it's amazing for me to find that the internet can also be used to fight bulliyng and help each other. Keep up the good work, Anette (and everyone else, of course).
Thank you!! :)
Good morning Anette and I'm glad you thought my words could inspire someone in need. I really hope they do, and I hope this place can become some sort of anchorage for those who feel depressed, confused, unloved. I already see so many people thanking you and each other for "having been saved", it makes me happy. We should just go on digging deeper in ourselves, to find the light. And I think we have found a way already, thanks to the sympathy and friendship we have found around here.
ReplyDeleteI hope everyone has a wonderful, bright day full of STRENGTH!
Hallo,
ReplyDeleteI`ve been reading this blog very often lately because so many people told their stories about being bullied. I have been bullied for about 8 years as well when I was younger. So I totally know how it feels. I had no one to talk about it when I went through it. I had no true friends, just here and there some people who pretended to be there for me. But after some time they started mocking me also, most of the time behind my back. It doesn`t feel good at all spending most of your time all alone because you think everyone else is right with what they say about you. I really believed for so many years that I am the problem. For me it was hard to believe that there will ever be someone who cares about me. And I had absolutely no one to be there for me until I met my husband...! I told him every little thing that happened to me. We spent hours and hours working it out and that really helped me getting over it. Of course that didn`t work overnight but I think that no one can expect that. Sometimes I still feel sad about it nowadays but that`s ok. Repressing your feelings will backfire sooner or later. What I wanted to say is that everything will be better, it just takes time. It`s not easy but it`s worth working at it!
Hi dear Anette,
ReplyDeleteYes I sleep well thanks ;-)
Beautiful story thanks ;-)
Enjoy your day
Love
Isa
Hi Anette!
ReplyDeleteYou are waking up and I am headed to bed! =^)
I agree with Elma's post. It takes our inner strength to stand up to these people. It is very hard to do indeed. Thanks to this blog though it really helps us to know you are not alone in this world. The love and support from others sure goes along way in giving us the strength and courage to stand up and say "no more". You should never give anyone the power over you to bring you down.
Thank you Anette for caring so much and bringing people together to support each other. I admire your strength and courage. You are awesome! As is everyone here!! You all are awesome, never forget it! =^)
This is haunting my mind for a couple of days now and I just have to share my thoughts with you.
ReplyDeleteOf course Amanda's story is very sad and her death could have been prevented but on the other hand it is kind of ridiculous how people react because of it. I mean, teenagers or people in general are commiting suicide (because of bullying) EVERY DAY and we don't even notice.
Actually we just noticed her death because she put a video of herself on YouTube and because she was pretty. I know this is a conjecture but it is what I think about it. As I said, her death definitely is very tragical and should have been avoid but no one deserves to die because of bullying, but (most) people act like it is an isolated case and unknown - not usual for them. We just never notice all the other teenagers who experienced the same as Amanda.
I think we shouldn't concentrate on what happened to her but at bullying (maybe) leading to death in general.
I'm sorry if this sounds rude but I just had to write it because I think it is very important - at least for me ;)
- Victoria :)
Hi Anette,just watched this and I thought you might be interested. This is what this video and beautiful song is about: ''For The Light was written for and is dedicated to the Kelty Dennehy Foundation. This is an incredible foundation which seeks to shed light on depression through education and to remove the stigma of mental health diseases. A more important cause than many can understand.''
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NM1BbEpLjgs&feature=g-u-u
Hello Anette! I appreciate so much what you're doing here...You're helping so many guys, and all the people like me can read something about theirselves in all those stories...To be bullyed means to change everything in your mind, in your life, and dark thoughts or actions became your best friends...No one you can trust, no one who can really see what's happening to you, your inner death, your deepest and hidden pain...Thank you Nettie, you're giving the voice to the ones who have no voice, anymore...Thank you!
ReplyDeleteLove
V.
Actually,I've got fever,so my sleep was nonexistent,and the times I almost fell asleep,I was awakened by my head's pain :c But anyway,this will pass!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing that comment,I didn't see it!I love how wise everyone is.You guys are a true inspiration<3
Have a great,great day,
xx
Yes, this was a really good comment!!
ReplyDeleteSo, as important it is to work to prevent bullying and harassment, so actually it's even more important to learn children (and youngsters and adults) to handle situations where you feel you're being bullied.
I haven't worked so much with small kids, but I have done it a little bit, and one program which I think can help teachers a lot when working with this issue is this "Step by step", or Steg for steg as we call it in Norway... I've been following some lessons with a teacher who's used the program for many years, and I liked those exercises with pictures and small texts, "cases", and how children were put to have some role-playing games where they had different roles. How someone was left alone etc. It was quite surprising how strong emotional experience it was to them, even though they knew it was just a game they were playing. I'm sure the same type of role-playing game could work with adults too. You can get a little idea how it feels to be neglected, ignored, made fool of... and how easy it is to hurt other people if you never stop and try to think how the small words and gestures you use, can affect another person!
...so, what I forgot to say about this Step by step, is that you can also practice how to handle such situations when you feel you're harassed. You can "taste" a little bit how it feels, and with a help from your teacher and group try to find out what's the best way to come over it.
ReplyDeleteSome people have the inner strength. They just seem to have it with them, everywhere, in all situations. While some others have to work to build it. And they need help and strategies to do it. I mean this should be on focus at schools and also workplaces.
This is a video I did on my YouTube channel about the situation. It's gotten pretty good views and I'm happy not for the praise I get, but that an idiot out there saying awful things about her may see it and change their mind. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pz0fhiUlV-A
ReplyDeleteFirst I want to say thank you Anette for your answer and yes now I have a good friends in my life and they support me =)
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with Elmas, sometimes even watch a movie or hear a song is a big help. But sometimes in some people the mind and soul are tired to try and at the end the result is fatal.
The only way is work everyday to be good persons, good friends and good humans. Because a bad word or a bad actions makes sad to someone, at the same a good word or a good action saves a life.
xoxo =)
Hi dear, I've been bullied too at school for my musical tastes and such stuff but I've have had the strenght to do not care about the others' opinions and being myself. It hurts, really but at some point you arrive at so called "point of return" where you don't care about it and find the strenght on something else really. At some some point you must think about yourself, really. I really thank you speak about Sophie's tragedy. Before friday, can you spam this initiative by GLAAD? (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation)http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151201523053840&set=a.468379118839.258644.186319338839&type=1 Hugs, Miriam
ReplyDeleteHey Anette and everybody! Check this AWESOME news about this sad case. Hacker activists found the man who was spreading the pictures of Amanda and threatening her.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2218532/Amanda-Todd-Anonymous-names-man-drove-teen-kill-spreading-nude-pictures.html
It's brilliant to have such a group out there since the internet crime legislation still have lots and lots to be worked on.
It makes you wonder where are the authorities, politicians only care for next elections and most human rights groups (not all not making generalization) are bussy defending the rights of the criminals. Schools won't do anything neither at least private ones, bullies in most cases are the rich kids and so why schools should do anything against the ones who sustain the system. And the whole system is ****** up, schools does not want to breed new Einsteins neither Mozarts nor Warren Buffets, they think too independantly and that screws the system, so why protect good students when they can kneal before the ones who pays.
DeleteReally ****** up that this sort of criminal actions must be handled by common citizens. For less than that there are people serving life time in prison but I think this bully found himself a much worst prison, just like this poor girl who made a mistake and had her name marked for life, so does this bully but I think his identity is not published yet, a noble thing this guy does not deserve but it will have him living under fear. Police might not do anything but this guy is market for life and wherever he goes people will just point the finger. Todd suffered for a coupple of years, this guy will suffer until the end of his natural life.
Hi dear Anette! Hope you are well!
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy you decided to continue blogging..it shows that you really care about us,the fans..thank you for that! :)
I've been reading your posts about bullying and I must say that,to know that I'm not the only one who has been through this hell is,to say the least,comforting.
I suffered bullying for years in school and by the time I was 16,my body reached its limit,everything ached,I became a hypochondriac,specially sleeping pills and suicide thoughts were regular in my mind. I had no friends,I wouldn't leave the house,panic attacks were constant. I thought it was the end,no way out. Until I decided to cry for help to my family and,after a lot of disbelief from their side,my cry for help was finally heard. Since last year,I've been doing therapy and psychiatric treatment with the right medication. Today I know life is worth living and I'm learning to stand on my own feet. It's not easy,until today,when I see one of my bullies,my heart pounds fast,my legs get weak,but I try to be strong cause I know those people who have said horrible things to me are not better than me and I'm not better than anybody else. It's a fact that we are all EQUAL.
Now that I'm 21 years old,I'm trying to get my life back on track,I'm trying to focus on whats really important,the people that really love and care for me and to be the best person I can be!
To everybody here who has been through the same hell that I did : YOU ARE AMAZING! YOU ARE BLESSED AND LOVED AND YOUR INNER STRENGHT IS BEYOND WHAT YOU CAN IMAGINE! YOU ARE WORTH IT OF WONDERFUL THINGS! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF,IN YOUR DREAMS,HOLD ON TO THE PEOPLE THAT REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU AND LOVE YOU WITH ALL THEIR HEARTS! AND DON'T EVER BE AFRAID TO CALL FOR HELP! EVERYBODY NEEDS A HAND TO HOLD,A SHOULDER TO CRY ON,LOVING ARMS TO EMBRACE..
REMEMBER ALWAYS : EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! AND WONDERFUL THINGS ARE COMING YOUR WAY!
Let's spread the message of love,care and confort! We are all equals! The body is a mask,NOBODY should be judged by it,what really matters is what's inside,in the heart!
Thank you dear Anette for allowing us to share our experiences and thoughts here! It means a lot to me,as a fan! I hope you read this and if you have time,reply :)
To everbody who reads this : stay strong,faithful and peaceful!
Love and hugs from Brazil,
Bru.
Something that wasn't on the other coment : You are an inspiration to me,as a singer and as a person,specially because you talk so openly about bullying and your own personal experiences and everybody who has been through this knows that it's not easy to talk about and remember this kind of things.
ReplyDeleteThank you again,you can bet you are saving lifes with your kind words of support! :)
Hello Anette.
ReplyDeleteI was bullied couple of years ago at my old school. It was horrible and I was close to suicide. They discovered one of my greatest fears and used it against me. They also made fun of my taste in music. Nowadays I'm not bullied anymore but I think the whole thing destroyed the tiny rest of my self confidence. I became even more shy and it is hard for me to talk to other people and stuff. Happy that I have found some nice people around the internet.
Greetings and hugs from Germany
Sarah
I totally agree with Elmas comment. And Bru: you're wonderful person too, thanks (:
ReplyDeleteOk, I studied the case and read more about it now that I have a little time. Todd's case goes far beyond bulling, this is much more serious than nasty phrank, this is child pornography, underage corruption, stalking and blackmilling, enough felonies to be encarcerated for life time. But it goes beyond that. The other people just following the stream, they insulted her, they attacked her but the worst is their lack of compassion, that cannot be forgotten and the school boards, excuse me but I hope you people can find some peace in your souls, a little intervention could spare a lot of troubles but the cist blew out and now you have blood on your hands. Doesn't schools have an Orientation Program a Tutor or something? This is criminal, starting from the stalker and going to the FB haters and the long list mentioned on that dramatic 9 min video.
ReplyDeleteIt is good to know that for now most of these nasty sites were shut down and most ugly pictures were removed and the ones wich remains will make you cry. But it is too late, Todd is dead and nothing we can do can bring her back, the only light at the end of the tunnel is to fight against this threat in the future.
Ricardo: Hi and thanks for your comment! And you are right, this case goes beyond bullying and its extreme in every way! Just plain horrible and thank God the sites are taken away! Its true, we can't bring Amanda back, which is so sad, but we can fight against these things and see to that it never happens again!
ReplyDeleteSleep well and thanks again!
Sarah; Hi and thanks for sharing your story! Its so easy for others to pick an easy target and if they see that you are afraid or have a phobia they will use it. Cruel and it can give you scars for life, for sure. I am happy you are free from it now but understand that you still have scars from these events. I hope they will fade away in time! Stay strong! Sleep well!
ReplyDeleteBru: Hi and thanks for your kind words;=) Yeah, it is hard to talk about these things without making yourself a "victim". But by telling my story and letting you all tell yours, I do believe we can give strength to someone who is in the hell of being bullied at this moment. I am old and stronger than when I was bullied so I can take action and talk about these things now and if I can just make ONE person feel better and not wanting to end his/her life, its the biggest thing in the world to me.
Thanks again and sleep well;=)
Izabella: Hi and thanks for the tip! I liked the song a lot and great video=) As you said, more bands and artists should take action and I hope they will;=) Sleep well!
ReplyDeleteBrianna: Hi and oh, wow! I am just so relieved to hear that you are still here with us!!! Sooo happy to hear that, truly;=) And if all the nice persons here who supported you helped and if my blog was a tool for this, its amazing and a proof of that if we just reach out to another one, give love and care about others, we can do miracles.
I am really happy that you have your aunt to go to and you really did the right thing! But I also understand that its really, really hard for you since it is your dad we are taiking about. Do you have anyone else to talk to, a professional, maybe a psychologist or if there is a place where abused can seek help? Cause I do believe it would be good for you to talk about this and be able to try and get past it, move on with your life and talk about it with someone outside the family. Just an advice but you know best what you want to do next;=) Either way, know that we are many who care for you, who are happy that you are here and please, do not give up! Light follows darkness! Lots of love and hugs and sleep really well! And say hi to your dear aunt!
It makes me feel good that you are so happy to hear that I'm still here...
DeleteYes,I agree. It's amazing,the love,and care people can have if they give the effort.
Yes,I feel I have done the right thing,although,yes,it was hard leaving my dad,but it needed to be done.
My Aunt is going to sign me up with a counceler so I can have someone to talk to and help get me past this part in my life. Thank you for caring,I love you,and everyone else who has cared enough to reply to me with such kind words...
I will not give up,thanks to you.
Love and hugs to you as well.
My Aunt says hello,and thank you!
Tanjuli: Hi! its never easy on either side. Its sometimes hard to stand up for someone else, cause we are afraid of being the next one bullied or being left alone. So it is a hard decision to make, but its good to hear you feel this way and also that you are gonna show your children how to be a good friend and stand up for others;=) Thanks for sharing and sleep well;=)
ReplyDeleteStrawberrybunnyrabbit: Hi! Yeah, isn't it wonderful to see so much love and empathy spread here? My mum said the same today: wow! And it makes me wanna do more! I have some ideas and I hope I can make it all happen=) Internet can be a good place if used right;=) Thanks and sleep well!
ReplyDeleteNora: Hi and thanks for sharing your story! You are so right, it takes time, sometimes a long time, but things will get better. And I am so happy to hear your husband is there, listening and giving you the support you need;=) And good that you let it out and not keep it within, cause like you said, we need to talk about it and also, like you said, understand it´s not your fault! Take care and sleep well;=)
ReplyDeletePaulo and Ricardo; Hi and thanks, Paulo, for that link. Very interesting! And when it comes to Anonymous I think its great they do exist. I just hope its the right man, otherwise it can be another tragedy. But I am sure they are not outing a person without a lot of proof that it truly was him who stalked her.
ReplyDeletehere in Sweden we even have a law against stalkers and horassments, but I don't think anyone has been sentenced even with many people reporting it. I think there should be much more restraints to the internet and more laws and legislations and I do hope things like Amandas case can help moving things forward and showing the importance of this!
Thanks again, both! Sleep well!
David and Carlito: Hi and thanks;=) I think every little thing that can be done against this should be done and if I can help in even a small way with my blog, I will;=)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the song, I got a link before and its a great song and video;=)
Sleep well both!
Victoria; Hi and thanks for your comment! I agree that there are many cases all around the world every day and we need to act for every single one, but I do believe its important that Amandas story came out. and was spread by media. Mainly since it has to do with not only being bullied, but a stalker and using an underaged girl and taking advantage of her. So her story is extra horrible due to many factors and especially that a photo can be put out in the internet and none can get the photo back and make sure its taken out from all sites.This shows that there need to be much more actions taken against hate in the internet. Thanks again and sleep well=)
ReplyDeleteFemy Kara: Hi and thanks for the link! Yeah, depression is so hard and if you haven't been there you don't know how dark it is;=( Thanks again and I loved her voice! Sleep well!
ReplyDeleteVermillion Hope: Hi and thanks for your words;=) Its so true! Sleep well and thank you!
ReplyDeleteNettie, you don't have to say thank you to me...I HAVE TO THANK YOU! You can't nearly imagine how what you're doing is helpful, not only for me, but for us all...This world needs more people like you!...
DeleteTHK: HI and thanks! That programme sounds interesting! Do they have a web site? Thanks and sleep well;=)
ReplyDeleteHei, they might have a better website but here's some in Norwegian.
Deletehttp://www.infovestforlag.no/steg-for-steg.html
http://www.forebygging.no/en/Metode/Konkrete-tiltak-og-programmer/Program-med-god-sannsynlighet-for-resultater/Steg-for-steg/
But imo all the teachers who are using such programs should have a good presentation and training in them. Programs are only tools that can help them - but first they need to know how to use the tools right!
Take good care! :))
Mindof UTF:: Hi and thanks! Its great you did that video!;=) Keep it up! Sleep well!
ReplyDeleteMiriam: Hi! the link said: currently unavailable;=( Try again! Sleep well!
ReplyDeleteHi dear Anette! Hope you are well!
ReplyDeleteIt's really nice to see blog readers from all over the world supporting each other here. It warms my heart to see this!
Since you've given us such opportunity to share our stories and experiences,I decided to write you a little bit more about my own story.
In addition to the bullying I suffered in school,I have a bullie at home. My own sister (she is two years younger than me). And I have a condescending mother. My sister knows about the thousands of emotional scars I have because of years being bullied and she takes advantage of that. She says horrible things to me. And the worst,my mother hears and sees all that and does nothing. I feel extremely lonely,unprotected and unsafe. It's basically two against one,cause my father passed away 17 years ago. My sister is the kind of person who has no problems with stepping on someone else to get what she wants. She thinks her beauty is going to take her anywhere and that money and status is all that matters. We rarely speak,but when we do,she always humiliates me with words and gestures. It's very hard when you don't have anybody to rely on and to live under the same roof as your bullie,that being your own sister,flesh and blood,is truly a living hell. But my strength grows everyday because I know in my heart,that life is beautiful and people like my sister always get what they deserve in the end.
I felt I could trust you and all your blog readers to share this part of my life. Thank you again,from the bottom of my heart=)
Hope,faith and strength to all!
Love & hugs from Brazil,
Bru.
Well I always said some stuff about that people love to bully me but I never told the whole story.When I was 13 years old I met a guy who was really into metal music.But everything changed. A few months after we met he started to act really strange me.But I already had a relationship.Once I used a sweater of him and he blackmailed me.Foot massage instead of the sweater. I was so silly to say yes because I don't know what was going to happen. When I was at his house he "chained" me and blindfolded me so I couldn't see a thing. So he did the massage, but then everything changed.He started to touch everything and wanted to have sex with me. I was still a virgin and I didn't want to cheat my boyfriend. He did stuff with me that I didn't want to. When I got home I felt so filthy and bad and I cried for hours on my sister's shoulder. I didn't dare to tell my mother but I grabbed all my courage and told my mom. I felt really bad. Meanwhile that guy had still contact with me (I couldn't ignore him because he was on the same bus as me). He said to me that I may not to go the police or tell anyone. Of course I was so stupid and naive that I didn't go to the police. But because I couldn't keep this story for my own I told someone at school about it and of course someone heard it and told everyone about it. Everybody started to laugh with me because I was abused by someone. They started to gossip about me and said stupid things to me. When I was brave enough I went to the CLB and one of my teachers..I've searched for a lot of help. CLB, teachers, principal and even my own lovely grandmother but still nothing helped. I now have an accompanist to help me through all this stuff. Still this has a big influence on my life. I'm still scared to have sex with some and a few months after my abused I almost got anorexia. I felt so bad that I my weight was almost 43 kilos. Almost a year later I got really sick and suffered a lot. A week before the Nightwish concert in Antwerp (23/03/2008). I almost passed out during the show because I couldn't eat a thing. I had the idea in my mind that I wasn't perfect and that I had to be more skinny. Now that idea is out of my head but still I dislike my body.When I was a child everyone laughed at me because I was different then other people. They said that I looked like a man, because the little dark hair on my upper lip. They also said that I had a big ego. But that's not true. I was just myself but everyone thought I had an ego because I didn't say a word to them. I've never been a good student and my father just likes to laugh with it because I do Sales. I'm in my last year and I want to make the best of it. Most of the time my dad just bully me because I'm different then my brother and sister. He says that I have to act normal and that I have to wear other clothes. When he enters my room he always complains about my posters and he calls my room "the chapel". He always shouts at me and tries to find a reason to bully me. I wanted to leave the house last year and I still want to but I don't know where to go.And still I'm with 4 in my class, they still love to bully me sometimes. Because they think I know everything better then they do.Really makes me angry.. At school they just love to talk about me because I wear totally different clothes then they do. I'm sometimes the main gossip subject on school.Sometimes I feel really desperate and I don't know what to do. At least I get a lot of support of my friends.And if my friends are not there for me I just pray to my ex-bf who's in heaven now. He supported me always after my abusing.
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