THIS my dear blog readers is exactly what I want! I want us all to help each other, be friendly to each other and know that here in this blog, no negative or mean comments will ever be published. I have since day one always taken away every single negative comment (I do not mean normal and good critique, but mean words) and now when you share your stories, know that this is a free place for you all to share with each other, get new friends to help you forward.
And I must say that you give me much inspiration and if I write a book about this, I would love to ask you to share your stories in it;=)
I really love you all for doing this here with me! Respect and know you are all SPECIAL!
And thanks to Delain for writing about this in ýour Facebook! Really nice;=)
Posts
Dear Anette,
ReplyDeleteI sent I mail to the principal and his staff and they say that my idea is great! So I will start an anti-bullying campaign at school together with an organization to help pupils at school/home etc. Now my big question is: will you share your own opinion to my school? Perhaps we'll publish this in our school paper. I'll use it for my presentation to the pupils. I would be really happy if you support my campaign :-) I'll try to persuade other artists and important people to ask for their opinion about bullying people...
Thank you so much Anette to read us, sometimes we feel alone and need somebody to ear us.
ReplyDeleteAnette i want to meet you someday, i think you are a really special person not for be famous, just for be yourself.
Today I feel some sad cause yesterday my dog die, was very important but now is in a good place.
Thank you so much Anette to read this words.
Saludos desde México
Oh! You're planning a book! I think its perfect:)
ReplyDeleteAnette, you truly are the best example of how people should handle fame. You've remained kind and down to earth, and you remain an inspiration to your fans!
ReplyDeleteInstead of becoming a diva, like some celebrities do, you try your best to use your fame to reach out to those that need it. You have my respect!
Lots of love from Norway ^^
It makes us happy to have a chance to talk to you and to read about your life! I'm so happy that you comment on our comments, you show us we're important for you as you are for us.
ReplyDeleteIt's great to discuss such important things, silence lets the bullies work on... and this mustn't happen. it's time for a change. nobody should be ashamed, but strong to stand up to persons being mean.
i am sure that if you start writing a book everyone is willing to help ;)
Eva
First of all i wanna say thank you Anette..
ReplyDeleteYou made that Stone roll. =) You are Inspiration to us all. Especially to me. Your Music gave me the Power to hold on, even in worst Cases..
And if you want to write a book about it, then i will be glad, if you want to have my story.
And for all out there, Never give up even if the sky is pitch black and you can not see a light. Bite, Scratch and fight 4 your Life. Don´t let anybody hurt you or beat you down. Cause if you give up - they have won..and you´ve lost everything..
I know Life can be hard sometimes. But there are Notes, Melody, voices, word, storys and Hands which will help you through. Like Mine..
Thanks a lot for your Words =)Makes me shine a little more ;)
Greets and Hugs for all of you - and for you Anette and your Family =)
Sun
sun, i just read your comment from the other day when you shared your story. i think you're amazing i love the truth in your heart and the way you stood up for what you are and what you believe. by the way, my mom is an amazing mom like your mom :-) i love my mom :-).
Deleteand you, keep shinning like the sun!
Wow Hey thank you so much for your words,they really made me smile and a little bit stronger. :) greetings to your Mum, tell her she is great! If I shine then I make you shine too :) thanks a lot again and lots of hugs.
DeleteGreets
Sun :)
Book would be very great idea. And maybe I tell my story.
ReplyDeleteI have wondered friendliness of your blog readers (and you), and I think it is wonderful that there are people who care (=
I can't understand what's happening now? Why little children are so cruel?
ReplyDeleteHere are lots of stories about what children did to another children....but I know that they also are extremely cruel to animals. This years I saw a great amount of videos where children poked dogs by a red-hot iron or pour pigeons by gasoline and fire!!! What is the reason of such behavior?? I'm afraid to live in this world....
I think that most of the time the problem are the parents, I mean you go to school to learn subjects and stuff but you real education comes from your home! A perfect example I can give you happened right about now: I was coming home from college and I saw a little kid crying, he was about 10/11 years old.. asking for his kite back, when a 13/14 old was with it in his hands, saying that the other kid have big ears, the thread of the kite would get stuck in his head and that he had none to play with. THE MOTHER OF THE OLDER ONE was right on the corner watching everything and chatting with a friend and she DID NOTHING. she saw everything and knew it that because he went talk to her, i was so pissed that I went there and awesome mother said to me : THEY ARE KIDS, THIS IS WHAT THEY DO!! i was like that =O .. and the poor little one was crying like crazy, the only thing i could do to make him feel better was buy a new kite for him, I don't know but if was my kid, I would react totally different! =S
DeleteBe proud, Anette. You have every reason to be.
ReplyDeleteI for myself have never been bullied - I don´t count those few comments on my appereance - and I am very glad that I don´t have to cope with this problem.
In the place where I live, bullying is not a common problem. I don´t know how many people have to deal with this in my closer environment, and I know I should take a closer look. Thing is, I don´t have the strength to. It´s hard enough to live.
So it is even more important to me that there are people like you, who keep important topics like this one up and who give everybody the possibility to talk about it in a warm, understanding "place". Because this is what your blog is. I am SO thankful there are people like you in this world.
Know that you have my full support, whatever you will do. I´m not becoming a fan of your music, but I will buy this book if you write it (even if my Mom will have to translate it for me), I will support every project that you might start, and I will always keep in mind that the world, if there are people like you, is maybe not the cruel, cold place I thought it to be.
And thank you so much for answering my comment - you made my day ;-) It feels so good to know that you´re out there, doing good things.
Love, Betty
Anette thank you so much for everything you do for us with your blog and I've never other artists before you do that is for your kindness and your humanity that I admire you and anette of my inspiration for my forum on you and you also get a lot of fans here in France.
ReplyDeleteI had the chance to see you two both live with Nightwish and it was great ❤ I hope to see you again on stage or even meet you one day ;-)
just things to say Anette THANK YOU , MERCI, TACK ANETTE
love
Isa
And I got overwhelmed when I read how much you care about our stories. you are so a kind friendly , warm hearted person with such a power.you are really amazing
ReplyDeleteI love that quote! The one positive thing that does often come from surviving torment, teasing and bullying is the fact that it can make us realize how strong we are for getting through it. We choose better people to keep close to us in our lives. I think that it is a struggle we will always carry with us, and for those who didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel and felt that they couldn't make it through, we need to be even stronger for them.
ReplyDeleteAnette, you are one of the celebrities so close to the people! You divided your thoughts, fears, experiences with us! I want to say very big thaaaaaank you! When I read your posts and stories of blog readers, I understand that I am not alone! I feel help from your side!
ReplyDeleteLots of love,
Alina :-)
You know what, dearest Anette?
ReplyDeleteReading all this makes me soo happy and happiness isn't that normal for me - at least not at the moment. All these comments just tell me that I'm really not alone. Well, I kind of still am because I don't know all these people in person but I think you know what I mean.
Besides, your interest and effort in this topic is just amazing because, to be honest, I don't know anyone who is, like, so popular and still does care about "such" things. I mean, people (may) care but they just don't show it like you do. So thank you very, very much for making me at least happier than I am at the moment. I don't know, this just makes me happy! Thank you so much :') <3
(I'm actually having tears in my eyes right now... wow.)
Thank you so much! I love you. <3
- Victoria.
Hi Anette!
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to let you know that Delain have seen your post about their song We Are The Others and they said thank you :)
Also, The Sophie Lancaster Foundation wrote a status update on their Facebook page stating that this week (till 19th) is the UK's first National Hate Crime Awareness week, which I thought I'd share with you :)
- Amelia
PS: Here is Delain's Twitter profile https://twitter.com/delainmusic
Thank you Anette for giving us all a chance to share our stories.
ReplyDeleteYou're such an amazing woman and a huge insperation for me.
And,I feel maybe I can ask my question on here because I need advice... My dad has abused me since I was little,and I have grown up quiet and shy. People make fun of me a lot because of it...
ReplyDeleteWhat should I do ? Should I try to move from my dad? Because I cant take the mental and physical abuse anymore.
Try to move out.
DeleteI don´t know about the actual situation in the USA... But in most countries there is something like a Youth Wellfare Office, you can ask for help there. It can only get better.
Wishing you all the best!
Okay ,I will do that.
DeleteMy Aunt has offered once,so maybe I can ask her.
Thank you very much for the advice
In my opinion, too, you should move out. Your dad's not allowed in any way to abuse you, and if it reaches that far that you can't be yourself and that you're mocked because of it, you have to be strong and help yourself. Ask - like Betty Blue said - for help at a Youth Wellfare Office, or maybe your teachers can help you, and if you can't decide what to do at once move to another family member or friend. Stay strong - i keep my fingers crossed for you that you'll find a solution. Hugs!
DeleteI'd say move out if you can, but that can be pretty difficult depending on money (unless you move away to study? Though I don't know how much that costs where you're from). As Betty Blue says there is probably some sort of helpline or place you can go to to ask for help. Best wishes!
DeleteThank you very much,I will be strong and I will leave him! I will do what it takes to move away from him because I can no longer handle it.
DeleteThank you very much for your kind words.
Hugs!
Hello Brianna and I'm sorry to hear about what is happening to you. Like everybody else said already, moving out could be an option, especially if you already have the possibility to do so. But, even more important than that, in my opinion, is to voice your opinion, your rights and your wishes. I do not know what is the situation in your family, but you have mentioned an aunt that it seems like you get along with. Tell her about how your father treats you. If you have other relatives, or an adult with some authority in your family, somebody that you can communicate with and who could protect you. Also, you said people make fun of you because of your shyness. I know this is easier said than done, but try to be a little bit more open towards people. Not in the way that you become a party animal or everybody's best friend, just try to connect more with the friends you already have, find people you have things in common with, and develop a bond with them. And never forget to smile and, even if it sounds tough, to welcome people into your life with TRUST! I hope everything turns out great for you, keep us updated!
DeleteI'd tell you that yes,you should.It's for your own good.Things won't be easy,but the question is:are you ready to suffer from abuse for many more years?Or would you rather living a tough life,but away from that kind of pain.I'd say you could move in my house,if only we were close.
DeletePlease remember that you deserve good things.You deserve love,care and a safe place to be.The world is cruel enough,and our house should be a spot we can hide in,even if a few hours.Be strong,be brave,and do something for yourself,fight for your person,for your freedom and your future.Do what's best for you,do what will make you suffer less.
I,personally,will always be here to support you or give you advice if you need help.
I wish you all the best,
Stay strong and have a nice day!
xx
hi brianna, sorry to hear about the situation with your dad. you should move to your aunt and get away from all the pain around you.
Deletetry to find strength in things that make you happy like music or some kind of hobby.
smile and don't pay attention to people who make fun of you because YOU know who you are and how wonderful you are. i love your profile picture you look beautiful :-)
take care!
Thank all of you so,so much... I appreciate this more than anything that you all care so much that you would reply to me. I am going to call my aunt later tonight when my dad is sleeping. You have all gave me so much strength,and I am crying happily reading all of these. You will never know how much this means to me,to know there are so many kind people like you.
DeleteHugs,and thank all of you.
Xxxx <3
If you ever need anyone to talk to - i've been told i'm a good listener :-) that's my facebook page http://www.facebook.com/orit.beck.3
Deletejust send me a massage if you want.
And always cry only tears of joy :-)
I AM SO,SO,SO HAPPY we helped you!That's exactly what I hoped,but I never thought it'd become reality.Clearly,you already knew what was to do,you only needed a little push in the back so you could do it for real<3 Your bravery is amazing.I would never even think of something like that.Be strong,be safe<3
DeleteAnd let us know how it went!I'm sending you tons and tons of hugs,hope they'll make you cry tears of joy again.
Have a nice day,
xx
Anette, Don't feel overwhelmed You should fell proud of Yours self. You inspire so many people and talking on Your blog about bullying we all together say NO. No matter where you live or what you do in your life.
ReplyDeleteWe have to say loud NO MORE for bullying.
No one defending me so now I have to say NO for others.
Magda
How many kind words, Anette, you're really sweet =) this blog is my way to feel better every day, in fact I'm not living my teenage years so good.. you're like the friend I'll never have where I live, you're the only one who can make me smile and feel calm with myself. Your music helps me when I'm sad and I would like to meet you, one day, only to say to you: thanks for everything you've given to me, helping me in bad moments even if you didn't notice. Have a nice day, Anette =)
ReplyDeleteHi, Anette!
ReplyDeleteI was going to write you my own story about bullying for a long time...Cause echos of it be in progress now...I say only one thing. I agreement with you about "bullying MUST STOP" and about story...My classmates hate me, but in the past the sutiation was very bad for me....Now, some people in that group leave our class and partially I can't breath easy.. But recollection kill me and it is hard to see some of that people everyday now... I can tell you all the story in the privat talk as you want...
With Love,
Tanya....
Hey Brianna..
ReplyDeleteIt makes me so sad to read this :( what do you think about? You said you don't have the power to stay with him anymore. Is there anyone where you can go? A friend,a aunt or an uncle? Your best friend maybe? Or do you have someone to talk to? Don't think about what others say or do. The don't went through that like you..I know it's hard but push them aside..search for someone round you,who can help you and be there for you. :/ I would go,if I were you..but it's your decision. Send you lot of power and sunshine. You are not alone brianna!
Greets
Sun :)
Yes,I have been wanting to leave him for a very long time. And my mom has been to sick to stop him,so she lays there while he screams and hits me. So i want to move in with my Aunt if she will let me. And i really hope she does. And yea,I have been doing a little better at ignoring the people at school,but it is very hard.
DeleteThank you very much Sun for your empowering words,they give me a lot of strength. :)
Brianna
I am so happy right now =)
DeleteI really am because you left this nightmare Brianna. I´ve read your other Post and i really wish you all Luck, love and happiness in your new Chapter of Life! May it be full of Sunshine, brighter Days and Rainbows across some Bridges. And i am so happy that you have done nothong wrong that night.. So stay strong! Keep your head up and whenever you need help, you know we are always there for you, right? so light up the darkness =)
with a lot of
Sun =)
Greets ;)
Anette,
ReplyDeleteyour blog is like a family for all us and i'm so happy to share my words, my thougths here with you. I follow you since the blog has been created. THANKS FOR ALL!!!
This is exactly what I've been thinking about in the last few days.At first this blog was only a place I came to to read about you and your life,but now I feel like it's 'my' space,too.I've spent hours reading other fans' stories,and I have to admit that some of them made me smile and made me feel better.
ReplyDeleteThis is,mostly,what I thank you for:not only being an inspiration yourself,but for teaching us that inspiration and heroes can be found in everyday life,too.Thank you for bringing us all together and for building this safe place.This is what I love about music,the sense of community that it creates.
Thank you,
xx
This is exactly what I think!
DeleteI totally agree with you, Miki! :)
Dear Anette, when I read your blog, I keep thinking that you're the kindest person on Earth... people around you must feel blessed to have you by their sides.
ReplyDeleteI don't post a lot on your blog, but I wanted you to know this.
With lot of respect
I love your blog Anette, really when I'm reading your post I'm feeling well.
ReplyDeleteAnd also, I'm a psychologist, so I know that a lot of people need this kind of place to express their feelings...
You're really hepful for that, with your "serious" post, and also with the posts about fashion, music...
Have a nice evening.
You are so adorable person what I can see. I really admire what your do Anette. Being bullied myself at school I´ve been fighting with myself for years now. They used to say I´m ugly and I should talk more and I should brush my hear and they bullied me because I love dogs and I was different not like everyone else, etc. I´ve always being shy and guiet and because of bullying even more. Most of time I spend alone with my dogs. They are basically everything I got at the moment and one friend who hasn´t forgot me because she´s pretty much same like me. Unfortunately she lives far away from my town where I do live in so not much help in my everyday life. Being lonesome. When I see people going out I just going for a walk or run with my dogs cause. I just got panic when I should talking and talking to people and even though I´m trying to tell myself it´s the only way to feel better I can´t being "over-social person". It´s not I wouldn´t like to talk and I have two friends at school if it´s lucky day, but most of time - alone. Kind of feel like I have no idea what to do. I´ve been talking about my social problem four years now with my therapeutic... Hopefully someday I could get a life I could get myself out of all these feelings...
ReplyDeleteDear Anette,
ReplyDeleteI myself have been bullied a lot throughout my life, and honestly I feel it's affected me a lot as a person. Apparently people tend to bully me as I'm 'weird' and 'annoying' and I'm just not like everyone else. Now I feel like everything I do annoys everyone and I have considerably lower self esteem now. But I do try not to let it change me to much as a person if I can. But sometimes I just find it hard to stay strong and happy.
But Anette, you have honestly helped me so much in my life. Recently I was in a really dark place in my life, now I feel sad and alone and just hate myself a lot more, and sometimes I just wish my life would end. But you help me with that, you help make me happy.
When I seriously just want to die so much, I just listen to your music or your interviews and it helps me feel ok again. There are no words to describe how much I love and admire you. You've helped me more than anyone else in my life.
It's just hard to put everything I want to say into words.
Thank you,
Just thank you for everything xxx
Courtney, I kind of understand what you're saying because I myself was bullied when I was in Middle School, and after that my self esteem just disappeared and I wasn't able to trust others nor myself in years. I hated myself and lost my true friends because I was afraid all the time and didn't know how to act anymore, as I thought I was a burden and a nuisance.
DeleteI don't know how old you are, but believe me, if you're strong enough, that will go away as you grow older. I'm not as happy with myself as I should be and whenever I look in the mirror I feel so ugly and fat and horrible.
But when you go walking down the street years after that happened and your way leads you to one of those bullies who made you cry and want to die, and they can't look you in the eye and hide from you, you understand that it's them who have wasted their lives and will never be able to love themselves.
Life's full of precious things, we only need to open up our hearts for them. Believe me: if you smile, the world will too.
Ok, as everybody shares their stories, I will do the same... well, just a part of it!
ReplyDeleteWell, like everybody, I've been through hard stuff and been bullied. But what hurts me the most, even now, it's that I've been bullied by my own familly. Because I want to be a singer in a band (not even a famous band, just having a band and making music), because I've always wanted to go in Finland, because I was listening metal and I've always followed my dreams but you know what?
Today, I'm in Finland, searching for a band, listening and enjoying metal more than ever! I've realise a part of my dream!
It can be weird but I don't regret my past as bad it was, it brings me here.
Music as always been my life and my inspiration. I'll not change that.
And you, Anette, you are so inspiring, you're helping me everyday. Sometimes, when life sucks, I'm thinking, imagine what she's been through with all this hate, just because you were the new Nw's singer. But you've always gave your best, did the job, and smile and for that I want to thank you... really thank you. You're my role model, you are one of the most adorable person and if only I could hug you right now... I would give anything to meet you and speak with you even for 5 mins. Thank you miss Olzon, we love you... I love you! :)
Hi Kiveen,
DeleteI know your comment was directed more at Anette, so I hope you don't mind I reply to your comment. I just wanted to tell you how much I admire you for going to Finland to realize your dream. That's something I've always wanted to do: to play in a band and just be a full-time musician. Of course, music will always be a part of me though. But I went with the more boring route of getting a desk job. Don't worry...I'm still a musician at heart (on the weekends)! Before I got my job, though, I was at the lowest point ever in my life. There was one time when I stood at the expressway bridge by my house, thinking about jumping. But now, I have been at my job for over a year, and I've already gotten 2 promotions. Like you, I'm fulfilling my dream. I get to be a tech guy by day, and a music man on the nights and weekends. The point I'm trying to make is that once you just go for it and do what you love, you will start to notice yourself separate from all the bullies and people who say you can't do it. They will always just be bullies and nothing more. But you and me...all of us...if we pull together, can help each other realize that it does get better. Thank you for being so brave, Kiveen. You are an inspiration to me and everybody on this blog <3
As a personal message to everybody else, I know that some of you are in much worse situations than I could ever imagine. I was bullied a little but not as much as some people on here, but I still had severe depression. But I feel for you and want you to know that one day, something amazing will happen to you, and it will propel you forward in life so much further than all the mean people. It could be a job, or a new instrument, or writing fiction or poetry, music, anything. All it takes is something that will lift your spirit up and carry you to new horizons.
Thanks for your support Kolo! :')
DeleteThis is great to read!I'm so,so glad you had the chance and the strength to see one (or part) of your dreams become true.I'm sure the rest is only to come!You haven't given up this time,I'm sure you'll do the same with eventual future pains.
DeleteI wish you all the best,and a nice day,
xx
Thank you so much! <3
DeleteHi all!
ReplyDeleteI think that almost everyone of us has experienced being bullied at least once in our lives. It's a negative experience that can really threaten person's psychological development and leaves serious consequences. Sadly, we are living in a society where being bullied or being mocked is unfortunately a part of almost every child's youth, especially in primary schools but it's also an experience that can teach us how to be strong, to express our opinion and to stand for ourselves. It happened to me too (nothing radical but still unpleasant enough to leave bad memories and avoiding people from that time of my life), as to many of people who have commented about this subject during the last days. I must say, that studying psychology really helps me with understanding peoples' behavior and coping with situations like that. There are no excuses or rational explanations for some actions that bullies do. People who bully others have their own personal issues, a lot of problems, patterns from their primary families and they just suck energy from individuals whom they found, in their opinion, weak or subordinated. Anette, I think that opening this subject was a very good thing because if we want to change the world and help each other, we must do it together by spreading the word, discussing and supporting each other! :)
I'd also like to recommend you a great movie, quite psychological, that also points out the problem of bullying and the consequences it brings along. It's called The Crash. If you decide to watch it, please tell me what you think about it.
One last thing: you are a wonderful person, an inspiration to many of us, please continue to be the amazing singer who really cares and helps her fans. It means a lot! :)
Hugs & have a nice evening!
Hello dear Nettie, and all readers…
ReplyDeleteI absolutely agree with TheDeadUnicorn. This blog became a place of FRIENDS. It’s a place where we can share our experiences, where we know we won’t be judged, and more than this, where we’ll find help. I also got thrilled with the stories here. .. Yes, there are a lot of horrible things in world, which we just understand when we see. Reading this blog is an awesome experience for me. I just got really connected with you, Nettie, and I don’t know why. I always read it, but in these last weeks, it just got so much stronger, so much greater! Thanks A LOT, Nettie… You are helping a lot of people, I can see it… You turned this blog into a place of friends. And I thank you a lot for this!
Well, I just don’t have words to describe how thankful I am. Thanks a lot Nettie. A lot.
But now I want to help. I want to share my story with all of you. I still haven’t done it, but now I feel I have to. It’s a little big but I really hope it helps some of you…
Since I was a kid, I have always been really fat. Well, as all of you here must know, it’s one of the most common reasons for bullying, at least here in my country. And, as if it wasn’t enough, I was nerd. You know that kind of person that really likes to study, that has a worry about the future and give his the best in the school to get the best grade? So, that’s was me. And then, there I was. A fat and nerd guy.
Well, to say the true, I had some friends. But this friends just loved to mock on me. They gave me a lot of pejorative nicknames which made me really sad. But, I just couldn’t understand that was bullying. I thought that was just some jokes, only for fun. But then, with some time, I realized that I was THE ONLY ONE whose were MOCKED. So sadly, I realized it too late. So, when I realized that was bullying, I just couldn’t stop it anymore. I realized those WERE NOT my friends. They just wanted to have fun with the fat, nerd guy. And, I discovered it the worst way I could:
After a football game, just because I have ripped my short while playing, they start to mock me, as habitual, like: “fat whale”, “you should be the ball”, “if you entered at the goal for accident, it should be a score”, “you just should go away – oops, I forgot, you can’t even walk fat the way you are!”. Actually, these were the common things they used to say. But that day, after the game, they started mocking me A LOT, more than the habitual. It was so horrible, as I’ve never seen before... I just couldn’t believe that MY “FRIENDS” were doing that to me… I started to cry, cry a lot. I went to the restroom running, and they went behind me. I entered at a box, and they stayed there, still mocking me. Their words were terrible. They said, I remember perfectly: “we never were your friend! You are a fat, nerd guy, why would we be your friends? We just left you walking with us because you helped us with the tests and projects… we have never liked you… Look to yourself! You will never get thin, you’ll always be a looser!”
That was shocking. I just didn’t know what to do. I just could cry, and cry and cry. After some minutes, the boys got out of the bathroom, but I stayed there, shocked. I couldn’t believe in what I had just heard. And, the worst: I believed them. At that moment, I just didn’t want to get out of the bathroom. I wanted to stay there forever. Their words were just like a knife in my heart, in my soul. I was really sore – not physically, but worse: emotionally.
I just could get out the bathroom at the end of the day, and I went to house with true terrible feelings inside of me.
But I didn’t tell that to anyone. I was just suffering in silence. I acted as if everything was well — But from inside, I was totally broken. And, the worst: I was blaming myself for what was happening…...
~~~~~~~I'll finish the story in another comment, because this one exceeded the characters limit~~~~~~~~~~~~
...The next day was terrible. The boys who just a day before were my “friends” now were just like the worst kind of monster for me. At the classroom, they didn’t stop to laugh of me. Of course I stopped to talk to them, but they kept laughing of my face. Just to have an idea, they wrote a music, a parody, about me. In the music, they said terrible things…They glued the lyrics in my notebook’s cover – but before this they recorded it, and sent for my email a lot of times. Thanks God they haven’t sent it for another people, or my life would certainly turn into a hell.
ReplyDeleteAnd then, that was my new life. A life without any friends — all by myself.
The days just passed, and my life was still terrible. The guys were still singing that dammed song, and laughing of me. The school was a HELL. But someday, in home, at the PC, I was searching for some music when I discovered a band. Well, I have always liked Rock and Heavy Metal, but the band I have found wasn’t exactly Heavy Metal. It had a lot of guitar, but some “strange” sounds, like piano violin… I had never listened to that before, but somehow it was just AMAZING. And the voice of the singer, oh gosh, was delightful! I think you guys know what I'm talking about. Yes, Nightwish. I discovered this awesome band at that moment, and it was just like a light in my life. Anette’s voice was so nice and warm… The music was so wonderful… It was just amazing! It was just what I was needing!
Then, I don’t know how, I got an amazing strength inside of me. I started to listen the music a different way. I just realized how wonderful that was. I can say that the music helped me a lot, mainly the newfound band, Nightwish…
So, it was when I realized that guys were a bunch of jerks. I realized THEY WERE the idiots. I realized that it wasn’t my fault what was happening — it was their fault, because THEY wanted to have fun with ME. THEY wanted to HURT ME. But then, I realized that I couldn’t let that happen. And so I did. In a morning, I woke up, looked in the mirror and said to myself that I would change, and show for that suckers that I was better than them.
And, so I did. I started a total changing in my life. I lost a lot of fat, but I kept studying more than never. When they saw I have gotten thinner, they get amazed. But, as I said, I didn’t stop to study a lot. I still was the class’ best student, cause I know it would show results. And it really did:
After some time, I made a test for the best school of the region I live in. The test was REALLY DIFFICULT, just a few students were selected to enter at the school. Of course, all of the people of my school tried, but nobody passed, excepting me. So, There I was. The ex-fat but still nerd boy, at the best school.
I am now totally in peace with myself. I had done my best. I had faced and won the battle against the bullying..
So, my dear friends, this is my story. I know it was REALLY BIG, but I really hope you have read it.
All I want to show, is that there’s always a way out, even when you think there’s not. You just have to find it, and then fight. I know it’s not easy — It’s far to be. But I also know YOU ARE ALL CAPABLE.
You guys are awesome, I know you are. I know all of you have great abilities, so just use and improve it. Show for the bulliers that THEY ARE the fool ones. Show them YOU ARE AWESOME, and THEY ARE LOOSERS.
Be strong, my friends. You can face it, I know you can, and I trust you.
Remember, You have right here the “weapon” to find a way of facing the bullying. You have Nettie’s wonderful voice, and her power to bring happiness to everywhere. So, If you’re in bad times, just stop, turn on your music player, and forget about the rest.
Well, I’m sorry again for the GIANT text, but I really hope it helps you a lot.
Thank you again Nettie. If it wasn’t you and your blog, I wouldn’t be here writing. Thanks a lot, for your music, for this space, for everything :D
Be strong, guys! I hope it helps ;)
André.
Hi Anette,
ReplyDeleteI want to thank you for, well, for so many different things I don't know where to start! Thank you for opening up your blog to people's stories of bullying. There are so few places in this world for people to open up without fear of being flamed or mocked. I think that opening up about being bullied really helps, it lifts a weight off your chest, all of the pain kept inside is let out. You're an amazing person to read everyone's stories and give them advice when even their closest friends or family members ignore them. Thank you for letting us share without fear!
I am lucky enough not to have been severely bullied yet in my life. I really don't know why, I'm 'different', I don't talk much, I'm not very good at socializing, I say the wrong things all the time, I have a funny accent, you name it. A few people have mocked my voice (teachers included), but it's not bothersome to me, I find it strange aswell ;) But one thing I do feel sad about is a friend of mine, I was talking to him about how I was surprised I hadn't been bullied, and he told me that he felt that most people concentrated on bullying him rather than others. I have tried to help him through this in the past, I'd talk to teachers for him, and they'd help him through it, but I feel a kind of 'survivor's guilt', like I should have been bullied in his place, is that strange? In that past couple of years, things have gotten a lot better for him, more people are friends with him and people are saying less hurtful things. I'm really happy for this, yet I still feel some guilt, yet relief that I never had to go through this in the past.
Aside from this, I have fought with depression before. While I was never bullied, I never had many real friends, and I was always a 'loner', and after I had a huge falling out with a really good friend, I became hugely depressed. I was in a terrible state, feeling alone and upset at everything. I started drinking and contemplating suicide, even attempting once. It was at this time that listening to the music of Nightwish really kept me going.
For anyone reading this who is battling with depression and suicidal thoughts, hang in there, because trust me it gets better! Only two years after this period, I was happier than I had ever been in my life. I felt like I belonged again. Just fight through it, block out the bad thoughts, do what you enjoy, listen to the music you like and talk with the people you're close to!
Once again, I thank you Anette. You are one of the most inspirational people in my life, and I have such deep admiration for you. No matter what other people tell you, know that you have changed many people's lives for the better.
Thank you,
Charlie
Wow, the way you inspire people to help each other... I can't explain it. You really bring out the goodness in people... You're more than just a singer to any of us. I don't know how to explain it... You make us want to be better people.
ReplyDeleteYou have inspired me, and I'm going to read all the bloggers' comments, because I want to support people the way that you do.
I was bullied as a child, too, but I told myself that it was unimportant. As a little girl I had a mother who was not so pleasant. She used to drink, do drugs, and if she got mad she would beat me, she would beat me so badly that I had to wear long sleeves in summer to hide the bruises. She used to "share" me with her boyfriends and if I said "no" she beat me harder. And if they liked me more than her she beat me more. She called me stupid, ugly, she told me no one would ever love me--she told me she did not love me because no one could ever love me. I started cutting myself, stopped eating, I became afraid of the dark because that was when the "boyfriend" would come, I stopped talking to people, and all the children in my class made fun of me (we were 12 year olds). They called me "Crazy" and started throwing scissors at me and said "Go on, cut yourself for us." So I did. For them, I was on display, like an animal at the zoo. One day I asked the principal of my school "Please help me" and told her the truth about my home...she said "Sorry--there is nothing I can do."
I don't know what it is about bullies... They see something different so they attack it--because attacking is easier than understanding. But I think bullies must be very unhappy people themselves... I don't know. I don't know why they do this. I don't know why they kept going until poor little Amanda Todd took her own life. I wish this never happened to anyone.
Brianna--get out of that home as fast as you can! It is NEVER okay for someone to abuse you, no matter who they are!
ReplyDeleteSweetie, do you live in the US? Or maybe the UK? There are shelters to help people suffering from abuse--if you do not have someone else to live with, you must find one of those shelters right away. Please, please don't let anyone hurt you verbally or physically, ever again. You are so PRECIOUS of a person and you must protect yourself.
(Hello, I hope this reply goes through to you--my computer is giving me problems today.)
Hi Anette!
ReplyDeleteReally, this is beautiful, see united fans!
I´m Helena, and as a admin of a fansite dedicated to you (Anette Olsson Sanctuary), I have seen very, very bad comments not just about you, about your fans, this is very horrible, but here, the fans are united for help to others!
Curiosly, yesterday, I suffered bullying in the school. I never was suffer of this, and is a terrible expirence, but, I thougt of you, all the horrible things that you have pass and how you get out of it, think of this, and the love of muy family, friends and girlfriend and immediately I feel me better!
Have a nice day and take care!
Greetings from Mexico!
Really is just so awesome for us to be able to vent here, and just have so many kind and caring people listening. Particularly being able to interact with people like Sun who have gone through what I am going through, and understand the pain of it. The other day I was the worst I'd been, I felt completely alone, and felt like I just wanted to die, but now, I don't feel so alone, and I don't feel like I want to die.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sun, and Thank you Anette
xoxo
Hey You =)
DeleteDon´t feel alone, you will never be. i know that it´s hard but we stay together, all of us here. And it makes me so happy that i helped you only with my words and my story..There will be hard times ahead, you may be down on the ground a few Times but there are always Hands, wich help you up again. And you know if you need help, i am here =)
Let there be Sun and shine like it =)
Greets
Sun =)
It is really sad you had to deal with a lot of stupid people, sorry if I must bring the unpleasant topic but what you had to deal with in some stages I think is a form of bulling. Bullies are normally people with no aspirations and a lot of frustration and it is easier being and idiot than making things happen, ask a Bully to read a novel or to take singing lesons. I am doing both and the last one leaves me with a awful pain in the face in every practice, yeah, it is not just singing under the shower. I've read part of the blog early this morning and I think i've read about a girl who dresses different and feels like everyone is mistreating her because of it, or I've read it in FB, well, she wanted to move out, maybe it is a wise decission but things won't be different outside, i mean i am not telling you to stay home but runing away will not set things right, not even if you dress normal, you will be treated that way just because for thinking different, belive me, tell everyone you wanna open your own bussines for example, you will not receive positive coments I can guarantee you that. You have to face this people, it is not nice and it can cost you at least a slap on your face but you must confront this people, then run away, but if you run away now you will get used to do so until the day you die, never turn your back to adversity, it rhymes with opportunity for some reason. People will hate you just for trying to shine, not just for the way you dress.
ReplyDeleteThe same goes for XxBriannaxX, just confront your Dad, remember it can cost you a slap on your face at least, you had to come with all this (ugly word),if you have to stand it once more why don't at least try to give yourself the right for a little dignity "when I walk among the Valley of Death I shall not fear", fight back, even if it's useless at the end, trying is better than nothing, lose is more than hesitate. What I am trying to say is NEVER SURRENDER, and if things turn nasty this are manouvers you can try in case you need to deffend yourself:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VDbjFBciJE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6BKY2h74fc
While you are watching I guarantee you that you will revive those ugly moments and start sweting cold, it is normal, is the power of your mind and you can use it upon your favor so next time you will now how fear is and you'll be ready, when you have to defend yourself you must never lose control, think before act, but think fast, the good thing about this manouver is that you don't need to practice, just rehearse it in your head over and over but with no anger, anger mind = stretched mind, the only way to subdue a bully who is bigger and stronger is being smart and faster. Hope you can get over the situation.
I have just read your past blogs about bullying and I just wanted to say Anette what you are doing is amazing!
ReplyDeleteI really wish I had someone like you around when I was a teen, to look up to and know that someone understood, as many I was bullied, so much so I went into years of depression, drugs, alcohol, and even suicide attempts and I gave up the one thing I lived for (music) and even left the country, just for a new beginning. I ran, I ran so hard a fast..... all for what?
All because I wasn't liked, all because people where jealous, all because I was hated for helping the people that were being picked on, all because I did what I wanted and not what the trend told me too??... I see that now, but I can not ever take back the years of hurt.
I am now after finally snapping and standing up for myself.. I got rid of all the bad in my life, surrounded myself with good and positive.. I am now back into music, am happily in love (that was one thing I never thought would happen, because why would anyone love me??), have a small but the best group of friends you could ask for and am studying at uni to become a counsellor to help teens/ adults get through what I went though.
I still have my moments, its weird because one thing that happened / said to me by a teacher when I was 7-8 years old has haunted me my whole entire life... it has stopped me from leaving the house some days.... and has put much doubt it humanity for me....some days are dark, but I will not be a victim!!
I don't want to carry on about it too much, I just wanted to say thank you to you Anette and to everyone on here, this is what is needed, to stand together, to educate and to say NO... NO I will not be a victim!!!!!
I hear of stories like Amanda Todd's (may she rest in peace) and it scares me, I didn't have the internet when I was young until I was in the last couple of years at high school.. but my parents couldn't afford it... I was teased because of that... but you know I am glad I didn't.
There are so many people out there being bullied by these so called 'keyboard warriors'... it makes me feel so sad, angry, and again it scares me... we need to do something... And that something as I said is educating and having people like yourself Anette who are known stand up and say NO!
You all on this blog are amazing!!
If anyone wants to talk, hit me up.. always room for more friends, and especially friends that are all as amazing as you all!!
Just one last thing, I have said this before Anette thank you, you have inspired me more than you can imagine!!!
Take Care now
K x
Hi Anette
ReplyDeleteI think it's a good thing what you do now here. :)
In school I had a friend who was lesbian, and because I sat next to her in class, people where screaming I was that 2.. But.. One year later I came back and.. I had one of the most populair guys of school as boyfriend..People were so nice to me then.. I just laughed at them because of that..
But now.. last year, I worked with 3 people who're 36,48 and 50.,. and they started bullying me.. That was hard.. I mean.. grow up! I have had a burn out because of that, for 3 months I was sick at home, and now I have temporaly an other working place (which I love!) To be honest.. I don't want to go back to my "normal"working place.. I'm afraid it will happen again.. and the sad part is.. I was at home for 3 months, had a burn out and those 3 people are still working there.. not even had a punishment or something like that.. that's the thing that makes me angry!!
Looks like the boss is also afraid of them or something...
Dear Anette, hope to read more from you!
Hugs,
Danielle
Hey Anette,
ReplyDeletefirst of all: I really appreciate that you're trying to do something against bullying!
In my case, bullying was a shitty part of my past. Besides this, I had lots of problems and my home, including violence.
And school actually made these things worse.
Already in the elementary school it partly started that the other children did not want me to play with them during the breaks. Then, at the "final" school things didn't get any better. Already when I was very young (around 12) I started wearing black and so on, which was one more reason for them to bully me.
Most of the time it was more or less "indirect" bullying - by ignoring me or talking rude things behind my back (I was considering to be a satanist & things like this)
But after a while it got worse and they really told me this things into my eyes. I was always the one being alone, hiding being a wall during the breaks. Most of the time crying.
For me it got even worse, since I had noone to talk to. My parents never paid any attention to me - and if I said that I really have problems at my school they told me that I totally deserve it, since my existance is senseless anyway.
Already during the elementary school - so when I was around 8 years old I started to get into depressions and at the age of 11 I started cutting.
Nobody ever knew about the problems I had (at home nobody cared about school and at school I would never ever have dared to talk a bout the bad circumstances at my home... I was mainly ashamed of the fact that even there I was the one being punished, hit etc...)
After a while everything got "normal" for me - I got used to the feeling of being nothing. Started drinking, kept on cutting daily, took lots of medicine and being on all that shit I went to school - nobody recognized it, not even the teachers cared about the fact that I don't say a word to them or wasn't able to walk straight on during the lessons.
When I was 14 my mother found out by coincidence that I was cutting. But also in this situation she did not care and talk to me. And one day - I don't know why - I got the idea of changing something.
Taking all my courage, I went to the doctor - told her a few parts of my story - and asked her for a therapist.
One month later I had my first meeting with a therapist and she directly said that I should go into a psychiatry.
A while later I did another suicide attempt -> and there I was: In the psychiatry.
The first stay lastet for 3 months.
After this I went back home and things got worse than worse. Everyone at school knew that I was in the psychiatry , since I was missing for a long time and so they had another thing to foss about.
After not even one month I did another serious suicide attempt. I took lots of medicine and ended up in the hospital for a while & nobody was sure whether I will survive. Hence, I had to go to the psychiatry again. And now I finally started TALKING. After having told them everything, they did not want me to stay home any longer. So, I moved to a house where you live together with other children and "responsible persons". Due to this, I moved to another school, too.
(next part coming, the text it too long..)
(part 2)
ReplyDeleteBut the fight was not over yet. Thanks to the internet I got messages like: "Don't you finally want to kill yourself?" "I hope one day you'll die because of cutting."
For me lots of things changed positively during this time (new school, being away from "home"), but.... still these people were there. My cutting got worse, I was daily reminded of the past... everytime I did it I ended up in the hospital to stitch up the wounds.
So, I ended up in the psychiatry again. This time only for 2 months. But it finally helped me. I changed my phone number, facebook account, ICQ and everything.
Even though getting away from cutting was not easy - I managed it - for more than 3 years now. In my life I tried to commit suicide very often - now I can say LUCKILY it never worked out.
Now I'm already living in my own appartment and can enjoy my life. In former times I never thought, that this would ever be possible.
And that's exactly what I want to tell you :DON'T GIVE UP!
Many people couldn't have imagined that I would ever stay alive - and where am I now? Here & seeing the positive sides of life.
And that's also the point where I wanna thank you, Anette. You know, in 2007 I was really at the worse point of my life but told myself "I wanna survive until the Nightwish concert in Dortmund". That gave me a lot of strength. :-)
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ReplyDelete