Yesterday at the barbeque we had this discussion about children who seem to look normal without problems, that all of a sudden makes a really serious crime, like rape or murder.
The woman who were there is a high school teacher and in her class there was a boy, 17 or 18 years old, whom was really quiet and kind in school. Then just some weeks ago he was arrested and put in jail and she wondered what had happened. It turned out that this boy had been at the train station and pulled in a young girl at the rest room and raped her...
She was shocked because he really didnt seem like a violent or aggressive person, but he wasnt such a bright student. Little under the average of his age when it comes to learning.
Another story that has gotten lots of attention and been shocking to many here, is the story about a 16 year young girl, who was at a party the day before the last school prom. She disapperad from the party for some hours and were then found beaten to death later in the night very close to the party site.
They later arrested one boy and one girl who are together since 3 years, in the same age for the killing. It was the boy who had killed her but by the order of the girl. She had sent him several sms-texts where she wanted him to kill her. They all knew each other and they think in the newspapers that he killed her to prove his love to the other girl. They think she wanted the other girl killed because of jealousy. The boy and the girl were both popular and good kids. He loved football and she was a top student.
So why do these things happen? What is it that makes these kids act and do these violent things? Is there something we, as parents, as friends, can do to prevent it?
Is it the parents fault? Lack of interest, lack of love, lack of caring? Or do you think these kids are just born to be killers/rapists?
Let me know your thoughts on this.
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These things are very worrying indeed especially since they always come so very unexpected. Just look at all the school shootings world wide. Afterwards everyone always looks for answers and explanations but there are so hard to find.
ReplyDeleteI guess the only thing that we can do is love our children as much as we can, listen to them and look out for anything suspicious but this also is not a guarantee for anything.
The society in which the children grow up nowadays is full of violent films, video games and the Internet provides lots of strange things as well.
The case you described of the boy who killed another girl is truly disturbing and I am not sure who is more twisted, the girl who ordered the killing or the boy who did it.
I guess all we can do is look ourt for each other, not be so much on our own little island. Just one word with the co-worker who usually does not say much or a simple smile on the street at someone you do not know works sometimes wonders even if it does not help prevent such tragedies.
Lots of hugs and a smile from me =)
Katrin
http://katrins-little-blog-at.blogspot.com/
It's really sad to read such things. And, unfortunately, it's not the problem only in your country. Cruelty and violence come to children from the screens of TV-sets and from the Internet. In the Internet one can find everything what he or she wants to find there.
ReplyDeleteAnd in my opinion, much depends on the parents and the school. They are the main environment children have when their personality formes.
Hei Anette,
ReplyDeleteThat goes totally with my week...
I can't tell you why things like that happen. Often it's not the parents but the society. If you are just a bit different from the rest you are adandoned by them. This is the problem I think...
In a few cases it is maybe the parents fault but I think this is not in the main case. (oh this sentence is confusing^^)
If you are worried about your son: I don't think that he has such potential ;-) I believe that you are a beautiful mother ;-)
Hugs and greetings
Bekka
Hi Anette
ReplyDeleteI totally understand what you're thinking that's the same i feel when i read newspapers of watch news on TV.
i don't have a solution unfortunately, and i don't know the real reason either. I think(so it is just my opinion) that people does those things we all hate because they don't care about the others and want... showtime.
They want to be know by the others, even if they get a bad reputation.
In my school is the same, everyone try to make himself notice from the others doing stupid/bad things as punching someone else.
It's not parent's fault... or maybe not always.
If you search an italian very old movie called "I mostri"(i don't know the english title sorry) you should understand what i think.
Anyway, parents unfortunately can't always be with theyr sons/daughters, and children go to school, go out with friends...
then... they meet bad people who teach them bad things, wrong way to think, and the "Dark Side" is always more interesting than the good side, then i think i understood the reason some time ago...
they does because they want to get the most Populars friends, make themself notice... because in the horrible world where we live, a boy is called hero by his friends if he does something like rape a woman.
If i look at the boy who killed because her girlfriend wanted to is the same. Probably she told him that if he doesn't she would have left him, and he did because he loved her. That's the same story, just with differents name
About the story of your friend that work as teacher.
Rarely people wear a mask in school, because in class... or during free time to have food... teachers look at you and see what kind of personality you have. But sometimes people you think will never make something wrong, they does and i know because of a my experience. That's because people... expecially boys and girls, need to mature. But sometimes people need more than others :)
Hope i didn't bother you with this very long post(omg is a poem O_O)
Kiss from Italy
Anna<3
Jag tror att ma endast gör sådant om man är inblandad i gänget. Själv fösöker jag hålla mig utanför gängen coh n bra sak att lära sina barn som mina föräldrar fortfarande får tala om för mig är att inte bry mig så mycket om vad andra tycker utan göra vad jag själv känner för, för man kommer hitta vänner ändå. även om man kanske inte får detta stora populära gänget så tror jag faktiskt att man får mycket mer lojala vänner om man inte väljer vänner efter utseende och populäritet.
ReplyDeleteHi Anette.
ReplyDeleteThis kind of stuff scares me, because alot of it is going on around my area where I live. :(
4 girls were raped up the road from me.
Just makes me to angry why kids and older people do it, what do you get out of it? NOTHING!!
Makes us all live in fear.
Hugs from Lisa x
Hi Anette
ReplyDeleteMy two cents is just that the mind is an incredibly complex thing, and no one - not even a parent - can possibly know any other human being 100%. There are always the innermost bits we do not reveal to anyone else, sometimes not even to ourselves. Mental illness does not always present in the stereotypical way. My sister has borderline personality disorder, yet anyone meeting her for the first time would think her the loveliest, sweetest person.
Humans are capable of some truly horrific and terrifying things and I think all we can do is intervene in cases where there is obviously some mental disturbance.
Axx
anna-disgrace.livejournal.com
Hi Anette,
ReplyDeleteThese things scare the hell out of me, really. You never know with whom you're dealing with.
I don't know why these awful things happen, maybe because they're seeking for attention and are not popular kids?
Long time ago I heard something on the news about this Finnish kid who killed his school mates and teacher, there was some sort of debate (don't know if it's the right word) on TV and a psychologist said that there are people who were born with bad instincts. Honestly, I don't know.
But I agree with what Yevgheniya said, cruelty and violence come to children from the screens of TV-sets and from the Internet.
Have a nice sunny day =),
Barbara
Hej Anette,
ReplyDeletethis is a complex issue... Those terrible things happen all around the world, and everyone wonders why, but answers seem so hard to find.
I think that the human mind is so complicated and often vulnerable to negative inputs that can come from anywhere around us. Of course families and society have a great deal of responsibility to educate their children and take care of their physical and mental wellbeing, but I also think that everyone must be held responsible for themselves at a certain point. If you kill someone, you can never be totally justified by a bad family, friends, negativity from the internet etc.
So, I think that it's everyone's responsibility to try and make this world a nice place to live and share: families must do their best to take care of their children, listen to them, help them grow, pay attention to their needs and teach them how to take care of themselves while respecting the others; friends must help each other and learn that there's no need for competition at school, sport, etc. and that supporting each other instead of fighting makes them stronger! And society, the media etc. should offer positive models to young people instead of emphasising only superficial things all the time.
But in the end, each one of us must be responsible for ourselves, because no matter how negative the world around us can be, we still have a brain, a heart and a soul, and we must use them in the right way to draw a line between what's good and bad, and then choose where we want to be.
Everyone is responsible for their love and help to others, but most of all everyone is responsible for what he/she chooses to be.
Much love and hugs,
Elisa
Hi Anette,
ReplyDeleteIt is a medical fact that some people are just born to be bad persons. I'm not a geneticist so I can't give you detailed information, but I read some articles about this a while back (if you want to, I can go search for them, but it may take a while). Apparently there's some gene or some twisted way the brain works that makes some people more apt to commit such crimes, and they have to fight this urge throughout their entire lives. However I believe this is just a very small percentage of today's rapists and murderers. More often I suppose it's simply a very unfortunate combination of puberty and growing up issues, problems in school, problems in their peer group, family issues, experiences they made during their childhood, bad influence by the wrong persons or the wrong computer games / TV shows - maybe not all of this, but some of it.
You know, a while back there was an amok run in a school not very far from my home town. A young boy took his father's gun and killed 16 persons and then himself, and what our politicians did was demanding better laws regarding guns and ego-shooter games. I don't think it's just as easy as that. People are more complex than "he's got a gun and he plays these killer games every afternoon, one day he's going to murder people". The problem lies deeper, I think, in the very psyche of the culprits.
I'm running out of time although I could talk for ages about this subject. Thumbs up for bringing this up.
Kat
That's really scary! Why is this happening??
ReplyDeleteThey see the violence on TV ,internet , and use it in real life! They want to be popular and they are searching a way to be "someone special" just to get attention , so they will kill each other. Thoose are sick!
Hugs
Ena
aw..both stories are very sad..
ReplyDeletei think that kids are not born to be killers.. absolutely not.. i think that in every human being there is both a good side and a bad one.. so as time passes by some things just get the wrong road.. that's life.. parents and friends should just try to show who the right road is though this is not always easy or effective..
Oh My God...8|
ReplyDeleteHi Anette,
ReplyDeleteMany people are allways wearing masks, showing their happiest, loveliest side, never doing anything wrong, but in fact a lot of them aren't happy at all. When you feel sad it's so happy to hide behind a mask of happyness, and if you hide there more often it begins to be some kind of routine, it starts to be normal to be your mask, instead of yourself.
I think that's where it goes wrong, people get to be their mask so much that they push their real feelings away, but when you don't do anything to make yourself feel better, it'll only get worse. You need to find an outlet for your anger/sadness/etc.. But when you push your feelings away you can't find that.
IMO, that's where some persons get so far that it makes them kill or sth when it comes out. I think it's just an outburst of all these hidden feelings, and when a normal punching bag, some agressive music, an agressive game isn't enough to get all your anger out, then you might go searching for something that is.
Okay, that was my rant, hope it makes sense
xx,
Nouky
Hi Anette
ReplyDeleteIt is very strange that things can go wrong.
I don't think that people are born to be killers or rapists. People are born totally open and stand as a child (conscious and unconscious) open for influences.
I can't answer the question if the parents are the cause. It is totally possible that the teenagers had to live with absence of loving and caring parents. That can be a cause of the problems, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they would become killers or rapists. The way a child picks up the absence (or even abuse) is totally different, because of other influences (friends, love, the contact with other people..)and his own personality (the way of thinking and get through hard times..). The line of keeping yourself 'good' lies different. Some people can handle a lot of shit and still believe in the greater good and some other people can't seem to manage it.
This is a hard thing, but people that do shit are also victims. There are causes that people do that.
I found this hard to say, but it makes sense. I don't take it up for those peoples crimes, I really hate it when those things happen. And the innocent people become victims. For exemple: I love children and it makes me totally pist when there world falls apart because of a person who can't control himself.
But like I said before: Aren't the people who do those things also victims?
And in what way can we stop it?!
To make an end at this madness or at least minimize it, the whole community is needed: every single people. We stand strong if we work together. It is for example usefull if schools and parents open up conversations with the children and young people. And work together, because both parts are educators of the children.
Love**Daphne
thats diffent from where i come from. Where i come from it's always the bad teens that do all the trouble. like e.g. drinking, smoking, knifing >.< its always horriable i'm guessing it's just the peer preasure >.<
ReplyDelete*hugs and bunnies*
xxxxx
1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBLrchX9v78
ReplyDeleteGood song and the lyrics are what i think.
2. We become what we see and learn, main part here are the parents.
3. Human brain is a chemical thing, slightly something out of balance and bad things can happen. Freedom of mind is an illusion.
It is not alway in them from the beginning. But what i can see in my job is , that a number of parents are not able (and sometimes also dont want)to follow their instincts in handling their children. And it starts in pragnancy. And it became more parends every year!!! To be honest, i'm scared of it! What will happen in 10 years?
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's our society of egoism and abundance.
I'm pragnand myself and this is a point i always think about!
Dont do something to another, what you dont want to feel yourself. If the people dont want to bear responsibility, how can we teach our children!?
PS: When i say to my patient, please do this for you child, i too often hear the words: "I dont care!" ... It hurts! Because the victim is the child!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's really sad that these things always have to happen.
ReplyDeleteI agree with a lot of people here and like Daphne just said, they are mostly victims themselves...
I think that everyone is responisble for him/herself. All those violent tv/films/internet things, you just have to know that it's just a game or a film, not real life. People have to think that themselves and when they think that killing someone is good because *insert game/film figure name* also does that, well I'm sorry but those just have no brains. Just THINK, it seems to be very hard the last time for people just to think...
Also people who are different, so abandoned from the "populair group", they will get some nasty things about them and when all those things stay inside that person it will create more anger. But then again, just think that it will be better soon :) And, if they are in a very depressed mood, there are people who will stay in that mood and just think of all the negative things and not the positive ones, the negatives ones will become more and more negative and they wil become reality. Everyone just always also have to think about the positive things :)
I think the best thing parents can do is just give their kids a lot of love and care, show them their interest and try to talk with them about what they've done that day, I think that's the most parents can do. Further is the environment of the kids very important for how they will become later :)
And again a reaaally long post xD Sorry for this ramble, I hope it made sense :P
~Night*Star~
Violence is something always obvious, pervasive and, unfortunately, in this world, yet inevitable. With increasing frequency such things happens. But nobody is born to be a killer. And I don't think that it is the parents fault, anyway not only.
ReplyDeleteFor me it is ... mh, how shall I put it?... sometimes it is as if violence is not talked about, not how it actually exists, anywhere, from the daily harassment to the war effort.
Also after every spectacular act of violence of a young the call for a ban on violent computer games is coming up. But nothing is said about the extent to which violence in the afternoon program, even the public broadcaster has been collected, no idea how often an ordinary television evening shows pain and hurt, bled and killed, no idea that the detective novel and the Crime movie - so stories of murders - form the most popular material for the entertainment of the people.
I think the society makes it itself too easy. Who kills or wounds somebody is already broken. But why? Mostly there are signs, but nobody recognize. But are computer games the only explanation for? We have millions of young people playing these games, me sometimes too. And I was also a really quite person in school, but I don't strike on the idea to kill or wound anybody!
Only a few people listens and look to each others problems and our society doesn't really contributes to it. There are too many prejudices, and that's why nearly everybody who has a problem, keeps silent. The problems becoming more and more and one day it is too much and people loses the control of themself and wound others or themself.
What can we do, as parents, as friends, to prevent it? All we can do is look out for each other and of course listen to each other. Only listening or just one word can help sometimes or a simple smile. But I don't think that there is a generall solution cos therefor the mind of everybody is too different.
A study says:
In the minds are the worst things of this world. It means that one third of all people think at least once in their lives on terror after the total. But Most keep control.
So, hope for a better world.
Unfortunately this happens in the whole world! :/
ReplyDeleteAn it's a shame how these kids loose their childhood just because of a stupid act!
I don't know why they think that nothing will happen to them!
And it's not only parents fault, the cildren are influenced by their friends, their teachers an also by their frends' parents!
You know... These Kinslayers histories all over the world make me think a lot...
----
Never forget! People in Brasil love you a lot!
;)
This happened at my school as well, where a very silent and kind of alone kid suddenly was found at the school corner about to light up the school.
ReplyDeleteIt´s usual that children that have family issues, let their anger out by doing awful things
Do you mind, Anette, if I give it a Biblical point of view? I won't now, because I don't have time, but later would that be all right? Let me know please :)
ReplyDelete- Suzy C. ♥
Damn Anette, you did make me think. I've ridden this about 11.00, and I still can't get it out of my head.. (I should stop thinking so much, it's bad for you.. You only get depressed of it..)
ReplyDeletexx,
Nouky
Hi Anette !
ReplyDeleteAhead sorry for my bad English, but I try to write something.
It´s terrible that also children can be such cruel. Children should be innocent and pure, but the world is now bad. :(
And whather parents can do something against that? Not always. Sometimes parents are good and specimen for their children, but when children have bad friends, it´s hard.
I hope that this evil once ends and the world will be beautiful. :)
Have a nice day !
Ada
Anette,
ReplyDeleteI'm speaking from an abuse-survivors point of view on this.
Don't blame the parents, because the teens were fully capable of making their own choices.
Sure, check the background out of the parents, but also keep in mind, that some teens do make stupid descisions based on so-called love.
I hope this makes sense, and doesnt confuse you, if you read my little comment.
Have a pleasent day,
Falyssa
xxx
Every time that I read these stories I felt so very bad.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunatly in Italy there's a proverb (or saying) that say: "You must be careful of people who are so much quieter".
This saying explain all the two stories.
I don't know why the teenagers have this behaviours but maybe the guilt is the society too much violent and the discovery of sexuality too much early and in a bad manner.
I don't thing also that is society's guilt, I thing also that is where the children/teenager grow, in what family ambient grow. Because sometimes the guilties are only of the parents. Be without a very important person who you can trust in him/her (mam or daddy) is a bad thing.
These teenager seems so very calm and friendly but under the appearance have the anger growing against something or someone.
These boys and girls have need of help.
Hope you understand and like my comment.
have a sunny day
Miriam
Like often, there's not that ONE thing, which is responsible for such terrible happenings. It's a mix of various reasons and influences. Nobody is born as a killer.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm definitely sure that everyone has that bad gene inside. And when it's feeded through disregarded education and permanent violence around you then it can run out of control. I see your worries and understand you totally.
But I agree that I think you are doing the best for your kid, bcs you're such a wonderful person :-) Cheers, Marco
im almost 19 and i think that most teens do thes things cuz it makes them feel good. most teens go throgh alott of shit during those years, and so it sometimes makes them feel beter to hurt others. also i think some teen do it cuz they think its cool to be vilant,they think it gives them power. also sometimes they hurt people to get their anger out. another reason is lack of attention and love. i have a great mom but she is always soo busy. somtimes i feel like doing something stupid just so that she would pay some attention to me or spend some time with me. i belive that telling teens what they are doing is wrong isnt going to do anything. also telling them what not to do isnt going to stop them. i belive that if teens have love and attention and someone to talk to and to go to then thats what will provent them from doing bad things. i hope this helpd. this is from a trouble teens point of view.
ReplyDeleteshani.
oh... there are very sad histories... and they are real. Why do that kids do that¿? I don't thik that it's parents fault. But the ambient, the society... and this kids are in the ages of changing
ReplyDeleteI can understand your worries and I agree with you that anyone must do something
kisses from Spain!
It's a difficult subjet and I wonder too... I don't think they're born just to become that. There are lots of men who look wonderful people, and then they kill their wives or rape their children, and it's so shocking. I think they must feel lost and they must have a big inferiority complex because they can't reach what society expects them to. So I think that's why they act like that, because they can't be as good as others expect them to be.
ReplyDeleteI hope these things will stop someday.
I agree with Suzy C. and hope you will allow her to go deep.
ReplyDelete:) Poochie
P.S. Please check the Facebook-Gifts on anetteolzon.tk/birthday/facebook-gifts - I put there all your fans'gifts/greets from FB! They really want you to read! ;=)
Problems like these are also serious in my country...
ReplyDeleteThis may be a poor thought.
I think juvenile crimes frequently happen because the world tends to give us more stress than ever.
And teens tend to keep it in their own mind.
They don't often reveal their trouble to their parents, friends, teachers and so on.
That leads to the result that they explode it in a bad way.
Anyway, I hope your worries will be gone.
And I hope you will figure out my thought.
Have a peaceful day, Tewma
hey Anette!
ReplyDeleteit's so sad to hears things like that :(
i think everyone should try to look behind the faces of the people he or she lives with..lots of people show smiling faces but they aren't happy..i think we have to respect each other and don't discriminate against each other..
my best friend knew the boy who did the school shooting in Winnenden, Germany..she said that she had never thought that this quiet boy could do something like that..she also said that he probably did this because he thought not to get respected by the others or because of jealousy, but in her opinion his partens don't have fault.
Have a nice day!
xxx
I honestly don't know the right answer
ReplyDeleteto that...I think it depends.
I would look at their living environment-
like parents, siblings, problems at home.
Sometimes the more quiet ones with good lives,
are more likely to act out
compared to a murderer's child.
But if depends on your outlook of how
you think nature vs. nurture will make a
kid turn out.
And personally, I think blaming the
internet and TV is a bunch of bs.
It's still going to happen, and they're going
to learn about it from
other sources and maybe one day they'll still do something like this.
I just don't think it's one thing-
I think it's everything put together becomes too much.And it's different in every
case you look at.
One might be because the child didn't
get enough love or attention.
But another might have done it because
he was loved too much by his parents
and didn't feel like he had control
and wanted to do something to prove to himself
that he could control his own life.
So I don't think there's any one thing
that pushes someone too far to commit such
a terrible crime.
I think parents have children and just have
to hope for the best
and try to provide the best,
but you can't smother your kid with it,
then they'll feel out of control.
And if you are worried about your son,
raise him how you think is best.
I think you seem like an amazing mum.
Hugs and love, Katie T.
*THANKS FOR THE COMMENT! :D
First I start to think those school-shootings that happened here in Finland. I think everyone here has been thinking exactly the same: what went wrong?
ReplyDeleteFor someone its easy to hide your true feelings and how its going in your life. You can always pretend that everything is ok, you just dont show it. I guess thats why its so horrible to hear when someone who everyone thought the person would never ever do such things, suddenly kills or rapes someone.
As a young person who uses computer much, I dont like it when they start to blame media, internet and games about these horrible things. There isnt only one big effective doer but many smaller ones.
No one becomes as a killer in one night. I believe it takes many years and depends a lot of childhood, raising, how things are in school and overall in life. But the most important thing after all is, in my opinion, that last doer which finally gives these people the courage to do this horrible things.
Because these people are often the quiet and kind-ones, its very difficult to help them, no one knows that they need help. I think one solution could be (at least in my home country) that they should slow down a bit in the school world. Nowadays its basically all about good grades. There seems to be no time for the teachers to get know to their pupils. I have been lucky to get taught by great teachers who care about other things too than just your grades. I wish everyone could be that lucky, but I guess thats not how the things are right now.
I think its important for the parents to try to keep good communicationconnections with their children even if it can be sometimes very difficult as we all know. Or at least make sure your kid has someone he/she can talk with about the important stuff, the problems and worries in his/her life.
I have to say I really feel deeply sorry for those parents whose child has done something, killed, beated or raped someone. They will be probably blaming themselves for the rest of their lifes even though there is nothing they could have done.
Ok, I guess I made my point here.
Greetings from Finland (which is very sunny and warm right now, ah)
Essi
Hi Anette,
ReplyDeleteI don't think somebody's born to kill or rape, but the inclination to evil exists in everybody.
Every single human has a good side and a bad one of his personality, and it depend from the circumstances just what side is a winner.
More family is a 'good-guise' family, people think always in ready with them, but under the surface there are a lot of hidden problems.
And if the kids in these families are good students, there are not any rummer problems with them in school, nobody treats with them.
In turn they are the most endangered children-alone with their all of own problems-and nobody gives a really help to them.
Then just bad friends are coming...who teach them bad things...it's a devilish circle...
Other problem...if you are a lil'bit different from the other people you are abandoned and despised by them-unfortunately even your child's too...'cause common men generally don't are able to tolerate 'else' and educate this to their children too.
(P.ex.: the parents are rockers...)
Parents and teachers expose to each other...and teachers are going to in fearof the parents...in our country there are a lot of teacher-beating recently.
There is the easiest way to blame it on the TV, films, internet...but I think if kids have a healthy mental status and they have a broad-minded family-background that will be not a main problem.
I believe the most important thing is to love the children and listen to them.
I'm sure that you are a very good mother, Seth is a very lucky boy;)
In my opinion there are two factors responsible for these attitudes. First is how they react to problems. People who do not phrase their emotions has a tendency to greater access of fury that are similar to a pressure cooker which has reached its limit when it bursts. The second is a genetic predisposition. The human brain is still a mystery, for example the psychopath is a genetic issue. A person born without any ability to show emotion, which allows her killer with no remorse.
ReplyDeleteSorry for the english again. All the best for you.
Once more I try to post a comment... Hopefully it gets through this time. :D
ReplyDeleteI agree with sonadorita with her comment of genetic stuff. But in my theory, this is only "the first step". Why do some of these people commit more serious crime than the others having that same gene?
Maybe that's caused by the lack of discipline. The second step.
It's not always the parent's fault, though. I think it's connected with decreasing value of religion. I'm not saying everyone should turn religious but while the exaggeration of human rights prevents parents and officers to give accurate punishments AND the fear of an ultimate judgement is gone, there is none to whom they have to answer their crimes.
(I mean, really, at least here in Finland the prisoners have TVs, DVDplayers and stuff, what the hell?! Shouldn't they be suffering in prison, not having a vacation? Even all the law-abiding but poor citizens don't have those, let alone the other things I'd count as privileges for a prisoner!)
The final step is to have emotional issues. Anger, hate, fear, sadness, lack of self confidence... Everyone has these feelings and that's just life. It's in human nature to want to get rid of them as fast and easy as possible. But when these feelings get very intense... Normal people can play with the thought of hurting someone, their in-built morals deny them to take any actions. The "mad ones" don't have that moral, thus fail to seek and find any other solutions to cope with those emotions.
A normal person would find a better way to build their self confidence and get the feeling of power and domination through something else than a rape or other violence.
It's a sad thing, a scary thing. I hope I'll live long enough to see some changes in this world, good ones, I mean.
Violence is born from imagination.
ReplyDeleteImagination is evolutionary adaption for humans to outised world, the basic principle of imagination is not really different than how computers calculate, eg. second root from a number.
It is based on "if" functions.
It creates an image in the mind, and then the brain processes it, if the thing you imagined seems possible, the brain will order your body to do it, so ironicaly, you're under complete controll of yourself, your brain...
But, evolution didn't leave humans with such easy means of self destruction, in our brain there are parts and molecules which are responsible for us sensing fear, love, other emotions and there is a consciousness, which some scientist think is actually, the whole brain itself, kinda like AI file of a video game, it records everything you do in your life and analyses the possible outcomes and reactions of people arround you.
If we feel anger, at one point, consciousness will tell our brain that it's ok to hurt someone or to yell at someone and we, after first thinking about doing it, or imagining we'l do it, will hurt or yell at someone.
Now, only small part of above statements have actually been proved, and you don't really have to hold my word for it, but that's how I see the problem.
If we see someone else doing it(even if it's on TV)
If we imagine to do it(specially if we imagine it for a long period)
If we are in possibility to do it
If our consciousness considers that we should do it because the outcome might be rewarding
If we think about it and come to conclusion we should do it
Then we will do it.
Also it might be that we consider people arround us less worthier than us that has a factor in our consciousness.
I understand a little. I was bullied constantly for years and the school refused to help, I ended up turning my anger in on myself and cutting but, if I hadn't, I think I could easily have gone the other way and hurt other people. Hate breeds hate.
ReplyDeleteHi Anette,
ReplyDeleteI think that there is something very wrong in the mind of a person capable of things like that.
The reasons might vary - maybe chemical dysfunctions in the brain, maybe a trauma from childhood... whatever... but I am convinced that there is a natural barrier that prevents "normal" people from killing or extreme violence. If someone does things like that, he was a ticking time bomb all along. Most of us are not capable of these things, unless maybe our life depended on them. So society needs to find a way to identify the potentially dangerous.
Let's hope we never meet them!!
I think that since the World wars, violence has become commonplace... children see everyday people who are killed on TV, internet, videogames, etc, and sometimes they have parents who are violent too.
ReplyDeleteThese children are sometimes withdrawn, or introverted, or sometimes they are violent everytime. With violent children, you know there is a risk ; with the introverted ones, you don't. It can be worst and more dangerous. When these children explode, it can me very very dangerous.
That's my opinion and my experience too...
They are Psychos! They born like this, and depends of environment, if it appears earlier.It's like a lack of soul. Phycos know what the're doing, they'are not sick persons that don't have consciousness. They seem nice in outside, gentle, kind, sweet, but it is only to achieve their goals. They don't have any compassion. I read a book, of a brazilian psychiatrist, call Ana Beatriz Barbosa da Silva , she says that 4% of people are psychos/sociopath.It's a very good book, open my eyes to the true reality of the world. Some people born evil. They have consciousness, but have no feelings. The only thing we can do is take care, and stay away from these people.
ReplyDeleteIt is really very difficult to understand. Sometimes, the most spiritually beautiful children can come from broken and abusive homes, and other times violent children can come from loving homes. I think that parents have an important role to play, but neither parents nor the children can be perfect. However, to be imperfect in an ordinary human way is so far off from crimes of this level that it really boggles the mind!
ReplyDeleteWhat I wonder when it comes to these people is: what does love mean to them? Is it something selfish, focused on themselves, so that out of their self-love they are entitled to do anything they wish? Is it something they feel starved of, so that any way of getting attention or striking at someone of whom they are jealous will make them feel good in a tiny way? So far from what I think true love is, something that extends through the whole universe, connecting us all! Or, even if one cannot be good to people out of love, is there not the fear of losing heaven forever after death, for such a terrible crime and no repentance? But, perhaps, to someone who does not know love, fear means nothing? I find it terribly confusing. But each other person is a mystery, whether it is a sweet mystery or a bitter one.
That is horrible news! I'm sad to hear it, although it happens all the time everywhere in the world.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it has much to do with the parents, usually, unless they condone this kind of behavior.
From my experience, when it comes to breaking rules, drinking underage, and doing drugs and stuff, the trend tends to be that the more lax the parents are about these things, the less likely their kids are to do them. The more strict the parents are, the more kids want to rebel.
Maybe it's the same with this stuff? Maybe the kids parents are too strict or something? I highly doubt it though because I don't see how parenting can cause these things, unless the parents are psychos and condone this kind of stuff.
Maybe if the parents are abusive or neglectful, then kids get the wrong idea as well, or want to take their anger out on somebody.
Then again, we can't always blame kids' actions on the parents. Kids can think for themselves too. I don't know what would drive them to do something like that, but it may be that they think they are justified in doing it? Or maybe that it's actually ok?
Oh well. After this kind of depressing discussion, I can only hope that there are still good people in this world =D
Have a great day Anette! Sorry about your headache.
Hej Anette!
ReplyDeleteI dont think that things as horrile as this happens without a reason.
And I dont belive that the reason is in the genetics..well or course there can be some affect but..nah.
The reason most likely is something no one else knows...like often these school killers are quiet and closed up, which means something bad has happened or is happening to them.. Ive read somewhere that a child who is closed up is often been molested by an adult,sexually or in some other way, in a way that it has broken the childs trust in to their parents or grown ups in general.The molesting adult doesent have to be a parent, but a family member or some other adult..
Raping/killing someone is the breaking point to these kids I think..I dont know what we could do to stop these things from happening...maybe paying more attention to each other, being more conserned.. And nations should invest more money on mental care, and focus the energy on to the roots of the problem, troubled kids and mothers..
I believe that if every child in this world could live a secure childhood, feeling that there is someone loving and looking after them, this world would be a better place!
Hej!
ReplyDeleteDet här handlar nog mycket om grupptryck. Jag har själv aldrig låtit mig påverkas av andra för att jag vet när man ska säga nej. Min syster stal godis med en kompis för några veckor sedan och där var det mycket grupptryck inblandat.
Hon ville vara "cool".
Men tillbaka till frågorna...
Det är inte bara föräldrarnas fel att barn kan göra något sånt. Internet och samhället är också inblandat. I vissa fall vill barn bara ha uppmärksamhet för att dom t.ex. inte får det hemma. Och vissa barn blir påverkade i en så ung ålder, som t.ex. att dom upplever något traumatiskt, och att det sen påverkar dom när dom är vuxna. Så ingen födds egentligen "ond".
Jag får inte heller så mycket uppmärksamhet från mina föräldrar men jag skulle aldrig kunna döda någon för det.
Man kunde kanske förhindra dom här sakerna genom att visa att man bryr sig om sitt barn och att föräldrarna visar att dom alltid finns där om det är något problem.
Ok det här var väldigt allvarliga frågor men dom får också en att tänka efter.
Ha det så bra!
//Ellinor
Hi there :)
ReplyDeleteOh these stories are really shocking Oo especially when it came from persons you never imagined to be such mad persons.
Almost no one in this world is born to be a killer or a rapist.
This is life which makes us killer or rapist, i mean our environnement, relationships and so on.. of course sometimes there are really bad persons who only want to kill or do harm just for the pleasure, and they are really mads!!
I'm sure there is something wrong in the life of these teenagers, i mean in the first case maybe it's a lack of education or love or something like that.
And for the second case, i can imagine that for love people can become crazy! this girl has probably a big lack of trust in her and more over she is so cruel... and the boy was weak enough to listen to her and do this terrible things.
I think there is too much violence around us as well, especially in tv! it's incredible!!
I can imagine you worry all day for your son and when i will be a mother i will have the same fears as you !
But my response to my fears will be that if we give enough love,caring, confidence, good education, and the respect for the others, things gonna be okay.
Have a nice dinner :)
Take care <3
Hej Anette,
ReplyDeletewell it is really horrible what happens everywhere in the world and the most worse is that those murderers becoming younger and younger with time. I think it is not the parents fault. Some say the kids changed in that horrible way because the parents didn't pay attention to their own kids but otherways if stifle them with their love, then the people (medias, fiends, family etc) would say ja we saw it that coming. Even the force majeure now is much higher. I think it is even a reaction of that NOONE cares for each other. In school sophomore terrorize sophomore for maybe they are not that "cool" or just wanna prove that the have he courage to show for what they would be able to do for being accepted and respected. Even other people know that it is not that kind of way to show how much you would give, even to give up the persons own life.I mean, the world is going more crazy and people announce their own death or that they wanna run amok in their schools or work in the internet because it is more anonymous then just to face the fact that the dependents of the victim they kill or killed are suffering more then anyone else in the world. that the world ends in that moment if they get to know that a beloved human died. That some of them don't know how to go on. WEll but I think (even I lost once a beloved person in something like I described) it's a pervasive developmental disorder of the committer. It's not always just about to give all the blame the parents who maybe even didn't knew what is running around in the murderes head.
This is just my own meaning of this whole shit.
Take care
Hey Anette,
ReplyDeleteThis is such a tough subject, I feel really sad whenever I hear of such things happening in the world. Especially these days, we are surrounded by violence on tv, in games, and even in real life. No one can know for sure why some kids commit such crimes. Sometimes it has to do with the parents, sometimes society, sometimes some personal instability. Sometimes it's a mix of any or all of them. All we can do is be kind to those around us and treat them well. A lot of violence and hurt can be prevented by simply offering someone a kind gesture. We can't control what others do but we can help them remain good people and remain on the good path ourselves.
Hope you have a great day.
Yelena~
Hi Anette!!
ReplyDeleteThose things are horrible!!!
Once in France there was a 13 year old pupil who attacked his teatcher with a knife!!
13 YEAR-OLD!!
Sometimes your asking "hey what's wrong with those peoples?!!" seriously!!!
I'm still suprised when I hear thos things 'cause this is so horrible!!
Anyway have a great day
"Gros bisous"
Alex'
I think it's just a problem of influence. People are so quiet and kind when they meet other guys but after that they start trying looking alike with them and even if they are bad - they do bad. Maybe sometimes that happens by fear. I mean when they new about their new friends and if they were murders or something they just fear to escape or say something against. But more often the person's inside thing depends on people he is talking to/walking with...you know. My mum says that all the time)_
ReplyDeleteSorry me again,
ReplyDelete(I already wrote)
just for a additional. Everyone can ask why and because of what this happen. I know that because 2 years ago I lost my husband because of that he was raided and stabed by a adolescent and the answer in front of the court just because. so you can always ask why and what kind of reasons and if the family isn't able to rais up their own kids. but sadly you will never find the answer of that. well, ja just many thoughts about this. I have the opinion that the world itself goes crazy and everybody closes their eyes of that fact and if something happen then it's always easy to blame one or two but noone wanna know the real reasons why. we all just care about that if it is too late. People kill each other (sadly it's a historical fact) for nothing, just because they can't see the other faces or they wanna have what they don't have out of poure hate. We are humans and humans are animals which kills brutal and out of real good sense. just to show how cool we are we make stupid thinks... It makes me so sad that we continues our fatal history.
okay wanna finish here.
Sorry now I was in rage
Dear Anette,
ReplyDeleteI hope that you will read this comment, because I'm really interrest by this question (I'm sorry for my english, if you don't understand something, you can join me on my OpenID)
So, I'm student in psychology, and in my opinion, this terrible acts arrived with some psychologics problems... I believe that kids have difficulties to speak with their family or friend. In our society, hypocrisy is a worth, and I feel that it's really bad.
I think too, that young people live in a virtual word, parents are working a lot, are stressed by the bills...
But in an other hand, you don't have to be stressed by the education of your son, there is always psychological problem and we can't really foresee the events... Sometimes it's just "bad" impulses (if you know Freud theory you can understand what I call impulses)and this impulses are difficult to cure.
Lyrics are good and very important, in family, between friends, but when it's difficult to speak; art is really good.
So to conclude, perfect parent don't exist, everyone is "single" (I think that is not the good word, I would like to say, that everybody is one person, different of the others), terrible acts have to be provided, detected. We have to avoid mental manipulation.
Have a nice evening !
That's so horrible.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you have heard about this, but in Finland last year a 22 years old boy shot 10 of his classmates. One of the victims was my childhood friend (we were friends from the age of 6 to the age of 12). It was (and still is) so hard to believe how somebody can do something so cruel!
I really don't have any clue how these things happen. Maybe something in their heads goes wrong and they do bad things. Or maybe it's because nowadays for example games are violent.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@Typhoon725: You're so right in what you said and it makes me sad. People kill each other for nothing, that was and is sadly a fact. And I also think that nearly nobody wants to know the reason. They use shabby excuses, I know, and many people blink a fact, but not all as you can see here in this blog.
ReplyDeleteAnd I also lose a very good friend as there was the rampage in Erfurt. So, I understand your rage.
Ja I personal herd from erfurt.
ReplyDeleteBut actually I wanna post this one last because I just want to excuse myself for my own last comment I'd wrote. Cuz this is not my blog and it just was a sudden time of emotioins so I specially wanted to say sorry to the owner of this blog.
Have a nice evening
Verena
I truly don't know why these things happen... my music teacher used to share a flat with someone who then stabbed his girlfriend with a screwdriver and now she (my teacher) thinks that everyone has that side to them, and it's just a case of how easily they let it out. Personally, I hope that's not true, but something, somewhere seems to have gone horribly wrong for the human race and I hope we can learn to rectify our mistakes...
ReplyDeleteHello Anette,
ReplyDeleteI think You asked a very important but also a difficult questions.
If We go over hundreds of cases like that 17 year old, we will see that there is a certain psychological pattern present in their behavior. The majority of the youngsters that do such horrible crimes are kids who feel elianted by their society (school, local clubs, neighbors, friends or even family), often they are bullied, feel misunderstood by the world and hated. They are quiet, stay aside, don't want socialize with their peers, just seem to be doing everything automatically without any thought. However inside there's a growing black hole of sadness, rejection, anger and dispair that is so hard to stop from growing and no one seems to be interested in reaching out to help, which is VERY sad.. I wish people would stop being in a constant rush (for money, career, popularity), so self-centered and look at their sibling, friends or neighbors and just talk. Sounds so simple but it can literally save a life. There's also peer pressure, parental pressure and social pressure that have been mention here. We're expected to be and look according to certain schemes and when it doesn't happen we're throw out of the 'perfect world' and this is mostly where the alienation process starts.
I really wish people would be less selfish and so much more opened and empathic these days. It takes so little to find a a bit of humanity within yourself..
Thank you for that post Anette.
<3
Karolina
Personal (even I said I shut my mouth) I think that will never end and we can ask ourselves why and do nothing against that. But ja sometimes it's easy to close for everything. We are just this kind who is interested if it's big in the media and just say "why happen this" and keep on going with our every day life. Noone cares for each other, noone have respect for life. Humans kill humans... Even animas kill the weaklier ones. what kind of rase are we to say "no I wanna kill you because I don't like your nose"? We have no right for killing others just because nothing just because envy or out of fun. To feel important, to get our 15 minutes. mostly there are no 15 minutes couse it's not exciting enough. It's just a tragody in everyday's life. We are just one of 6,75 billion humans. one more or less, nobody cares. so that seems to me..
ReplyDeleteAgain sorry, really
(don't know how my display name is now once typhoon725, within_temptationed etc.)
Verena
Hi, Anette.
ReplyDeleteThese things are so sad. You know...these are evidences that crimes, problems, can happen to anyone, poor, rich, young, studied people, in any place...
Personally, I think most of the cases are cause by instinct, human behavior. One can sometimes act as a "normal" person, sometimes like a crazy...
I thing it's not parents' and friend's fault, not in these cases.
However, can be influence of others.
I wish people would be more responsible with their and the others life. Took control of themselves when they lost control. And had all support from their families and from the government. But, it's kind of utopia.
I am really sorry about my English. I hope you get the ideia of what I think.
"All you need is to feel my love"
...
"Try to save them all, bleed no more"
(TPATP)
Greetings from a fan from Brazil.
Take care.
Fábio
Anette Olzon Central & Nightwish Extended - I'm glad you agree! And I think (since I don't know if she'll be responding) that I'll give it my best shot anyhow ... if someone doesn't appreciate it, she can always delete it :)
ReplyDeleteLet's start with Anette's question ... 'Why do things go wrong?' The Bible says 'All have sinned, and fall short of the Glory of God' - Romans 3:23. Sin is anything that separates us from God, who is Love. When we're separated from God, His perfect will isn't happening because we're choosing, through His gift to us of free choice, to be apart from Him. And He wants us to be with Him, SO much! There aren't people who are 'born to be' rapists or murderers - EVERYONE is born into sin, and people do different things with that - because of their parents, because of their genetic make-up and mental abilities, because of their peer influences or what they experience every day. There is no solid reason for WHY exactly people do what they do - there are a variety of factors which are also influenced by the person themselves.
So am I saying that there's nothing we can do about that? Absolutely not! I truly, deeply from the bottom of my heart apologize if this sounds like a religious spiel, because I don't intend for it to be - it's the TRUTH of what I've personally experienced! There are SO MANY people (myself DEFINITELY included) who were headed on the WRONG road (suicide, drugs, rape, etc.) and who absolutely just could not have been pulled out of it without God's intervention. Some people say that there are those who just cannot be helped, and that they just need shut away from the rest of society. God says if we ask Him for freedom, He is SO willing, because He LOVES us, to give it to us! And He has done that time and time and TIME AGAIN.
So what's my advice, then? For those of us who have a relationship with Jesus Christ (heck yes! =D ) , PRAY and just be there for people! Jesus gave us ONLY TWO commandments -
'Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and Love your neighbor as yourself' When people are truly LOVED with the Love of God, and they know that deep inside their heart and soul, they are not going to go on making the same harmful mistakes - they are going to do their very best to make a change so that others can experience that very joy and love that they themselves have! For people who aren't so keen on Christ (haha :) of course, I STRONGLY urge you to explore Him - NOT 'religion' - but challenge GOD to change your life - and to just love on other people. Parents, love your children, and children, love your parents. Be patient and kind even if no one expects you to be. Make someone's day with a smile or a genuine compliment. :)
YOU personally will NOT be able to stop all the bad things that are happening in our world, but the sky's the limit on how positive an influence you can be in other's lives if you really try!
In His Love,
- Suzy C. ♥
Ahhh...good question...a sad one at that though. Personally, I think the weight of the world crushes them. It could be something like not enough attention or love from family or friends, lack of talent or confidence or anything like that, being bullied, ignored, etc. But I truly think some people are just...suffocated where they are that they're pushed to do something to break the cycle they are in. Like...if they don't, they'll be stuck in it forever. It's a horrible idea but I think that's what happens.
ReplyDeleteOf course, there are simply natural monsters who seek out the innocent and destroy them for the mere pleasure of it. I sincerely hope that children and teenagers are nothing like this...then there is no hope for the world.
Hello again Anette,
ReplyDeleteSomething else dawned on me while i was in the kitchen making dinner, Tuomas had a point when he wrote the line 'Good wombs hath borne bad sons' I'm surprised that no one actually quoted that line in the responses.
I completely agree with that line.
Sorry if that seemed annoying to have a song quoted, but I figured i could quote that if someone else could quote the Bible.
Cheers,
Falyssa
Hi Anette!
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of factors that drive people to do the things that they do. There was an episode on this on the TV show "Most Evil" that explored three factors that contribute to someone committing these heneious acts: abuse in childhood, head injury, and mental illness.
What I've noticed is that the generalization of sex abuse is that men who were abused as children tend to be the predators and abusers whereas women take it out on themselves rather than on other people. Of course, this does not apply to every case but it is what seems to be the most common.
There is also the fact that everyone has a side to them that hardly anyone sees, and that even someone who is an icon of good can still commit atrocities or at least have thoughts. Everyone's dark side is different though, and with these students, it looks like their own dark sides came out of hiding.
Now, I'm not a parent. All my information comes from what I've read about with psychology and bits of personal experience as well as the experiences of others. If you want to take everything I say as bullshit, go ahead. :P
As a parent, you can't promise that no one would hurt your child but you CAN do the very best you can to give him a good life. You definitely seem to be doing so already! :) With your concern, maybe you could try reading about the psychology behind the murders and rapists to see what factors could have led up to their crimes? Like I wrote earlier, there many factors that can be the cause of people acting on criminal behavior.
Take care!
Bekka
Hi Anette....
ReplyDeleteWell...just look around, the world´s crazy. I do think about having children...and I would like to have a little girl..but when I think of the dangers girls have to face nowadays, you know...guys looking to get under their skirts...it´s scary. My girlfriend and I both want to have children at some point but...I guess the reason for young people to go so wrong nowadays is the fact that they are basically born surrounded by all kinds of media full of information..sometimes not the best. You know...like a 12 year old can easily watch porn just by lying about their age..or full access to websites about serial killers and things like that. I think that now we live in the era of "information"...there is too much information out there and too much exposure to so many things. And yes... having parents not paying attention may have something to do as well...It´s not the fact about being physically there, but being there as friends and knowing your kids very well..and let them trust you completely..so they always tell you what´s on their mind and so that you can do something about it.
Quite interesting, this topic...we could go on and on about it
There are many reasons why children, the icons of innocence, go wrong or become evil people. I had a friend tell me a story once:
ReplyDeleteA grandfather explaining the dual nature of man to his grandson said that in the heart of every man are twin wolves. One is inherently Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith. The other is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. These two wolves are at war to the death inside every person's heart at all times. When the grandson asked his grandfather which wolf wins the grandfather's response was, "The one you feed."
Every parent can do their very best to make sure his/her child is raised in the best way possible. They can nurture them and teach them right from wrong. If that child focuses on good things in their mind and being a good and well educated person and having empathy for others they will turn out okay. If that child gravitates towards dark and destructive things they can become monsters like in those news stories you were talking about.
We live in a beautiful and terrifying world.
Ja, we could go on and on and on but realising there are more questions but no actions of ours to change the world or the minds. We just hold our hands in front of our mouth and ask why. Then the next topic of what stars did come up. But we just do nothing.
ReplyDeleteWe even have to try to understand the villain who did it and see what happen in the mind (and I am the very last one who wanna excuse this muderer). But we also have to learn and to try to forgive. Because rage and anger just manufature more rage and anger and so on and so on and it won't get better, no, the opposite. It will get more worse and horrible.It's simply vicious circle which never ends. But forgivness even shows that we are still humans, even left with pain and sorrow.
we just have to drop down our pink glasses and see what happen, just to stop to be ignoramuses.
I already said that you can't always blame the parents of the villain. Cuz mostly they even don't know what's going on in their own childs cuz they close up their inner selves. And if that happen even the family of the villain feel loose and pain and sorrow. Even the villain seems as a monster (in my eyes) it don't mean that the parents even such monsters.they can be loving caring and minding.
Maybe we are that ignorant that we don't want to look behind the facade of other or did you ask your school mate or colleague: How are you?
It's so normal that people feel great in that insane world and obviously for us that everyone feel well. But the fact is that people are not fine always but we won't know others peoblems.
Now I wanna quote a line of a Nickelback song "If Everyone Cared": If everyone cared and nobody cried. If everyone loved and swallowed their pride.Then we see the day when nobody died.
It's a very important line for me and I think this song is just right.
Just wanna drop down again some lines.
Take care
Verena
but noone is born how they went into. It's just about the happenings what the villain had to see.It's a really bad theory cuz then we have to ourselves " Am I born to be a salesman, waiter, office worker, to be homeless, to be redundant, to be rich, to be poor etc.... I could go on. It's just a meaning of those many happening in the life of everybody and what we made out of it by ourselves. We even can carry our destiny in our hands and made the best or the worse out of it.
ReplyDeleteGreetings
Verena again
Hej there,
ReplyDeleteI know this is a really old blog and have no clue if you see this but just have had felt like for being a moment serious as I scrolled through the other blogs and stopped here because it is a really profound topic here and I thought because of that I even can be a serious man.
Well, it is a good question why people act like this and why other just says it is because of the parents. because as a part of a parent you even cannot see into your childs mind and cannot see what he/she think in the moment or what happen because children don't tell everything always. Maybe they play it up or they play it down (I know it because I have 3).Anyway, you can pay attention, give them as much love as possible and crush them with love. But this is still no guarentee for that everything will be fine.it still don't make sure that the psychic of the child will stand strong. because there are many things of impression that have nothing to do with the parents. For example, friends, school, treating of father and mother in front of the kid,movies,games, how the child itself was treaten by the family and friends,etc.It is like you have a friend and this a person which parents are devorced and say to your friend "You are not able to have a marriage because you're a child of seperated parents" or "your mother is jobless and have no education and that's how you will end up" That's also not that true (okay at me maybe) but it is even possible that the opposite happen of what the parents done.Or that you are becoming a rowdy because your grandfather was one. It is not all written in DNA, it is even about yourself and how you direct your life.
Long long long time ago I was in the SMP ( I didn't wanted that way) and also a once a very close fiend of mine (we knew each other since nativity he).And so we all from our unit had a free weekend and went out for a drink or two. And with time as night get old and we got drunken of course we had fun and the womens with us too (flirtting way) And my friend Rikard had an eye at a woman we all already knew since the thrid school class. Then she said she wanna go home and as gentleman Rikard was he provided her to ushered her to her home, she complied. But with time my then girlfriend (now my ex-wife hahaha)said that she have a really bad feeling and wanna go home by the train. I complied her and there were I was based was a really old train station and on the bench we saw a person laying. And so we checked out if this person was alright then. And so we discovered that it was this friend of ours which was laying there maltreated and rapped and dropped down like you bring an old dog into the forest to let him die without emotions, so she even almost died. Just dropped down and left. We brought her to the hospital and some eye witness said that it was one from military and so me and my unite had to follow those reveals fast and opended every single wardrob of the people which was in the near( we knew that it was a friend of hers after she said it was one out of our round) of her and so we stopped at Rikards. And as we opended it we just found the bloody clothes and knew we found him.I was so shocked that I had no words therefore.
Days later I talked to his parents and I really swear here and now he had attetion love and care from his parents. He had such a luck in the meaning of family and still noone knows what happen that night.
You can't give the parents always the fault because there is something going crazy in the criminal that noone will understand... really.
And as I said it I know it is an old blog and I have no clue if you'll read this but just had to drop down lines into that.
Sweet dreams
Henrik
And at least my father hit me and called me an idiot that will end up on the street an my mother a .....
ReplyDeleteAnd now I have a great job an exam of an university and wonderful 2 girls and 1 son which about I care and love and support and be there and not like my pa who just was a a..... elephant.
As I said it, it's not all written in the DNA
And I don't know if you care about this one anymore, But as I said just wanna drop in here.
ReplyDeleteNah, now seeing this night too much alive in front of my eyes again, sorry but it was a live experience I'll never forget till my last breathe
Henrik again